Day 3368: What’s wrong with you

Today’s blog title is brought to you by The Daily Bitch Calendar.

I’m smiling at that calendar now. Is that wrong?

As a therapist, I’ve heard many people ask the question “What’s wrong with me?” Often, I respond like this:

“What’s wrong with you? Nothing. And that’s the wrong question.”

Yesterday, I was feeling like something was wrong with me, as I took in so much of what was wrong with the world. I started focusing on the wrong in me and in others, including my husband Michael. After a rough day when so many things went wrong, we were sitting in silence at the dinner table. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and make anything more wrong between us.

Finally. I said, “Michael?” He replied, “Yes, Ann?” And then I said something I used to think was wrong for a humble person to say:

“I’m awesome.”

Michael laughed and agreed and suddenly what was wrong was right again.

What’s wrong or right with my other images for today?

What’s wrong with you if you feel like goofing off on National Goof Off Day? Nothing.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “what’s wrong with you.”

What’s wrong with expressing gratitude to all who help me blog every day, including you?

Day 1628: Be You

Be you.

Everybody else is taken.

Being me, I am checking whether my memory of that quote is correct. Actually, it’s

Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.

— Oscar Wilde

“Be you” is today’s title because, to be honest,  I see “be you” in several of my pictures from yesterday.

Be you and tell me if you agree.

Someone or something is being difficult: I had to restart my computer twice to post those photos.  Being me, I had to let you know.

Here’s a Be-atle being him:

 

Please be you and leave a comment be-low.

I shall be me and express  gratitude to all who helped me create this post by being them and — of course! — to you, for being you.

Day 127: Reasons why somebody hasn’t e-mailed you back yet

Somebody wonderful I know, named Mia, recently said to me, “You know what, Ann?  I’ve realized something. I’m not the only one who doesn’t respond to e-mails.”  And that clicked with something I had been thinking about.

In every relationship involving a back-and-forth communication (which would include every friggin’ relationship), one person is waiting for a response from another person.

In every relationship, at any particular point in time, one person is waiting for a response (and  is perhaps wondering what the wait means) and the other person hasn’t responded yet (and is perhaps feeling guilty about that).

That, ladies and gentlemen, leads us to this:

Reasons Why Somebody Hasn’t E-mailed (or called or texted or otherwise contacted) You Back Yet

by Ann

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1. They* are waiting until they get enough space in their lives, so they can give you the time you deserve and a response they think is worthwhile.
2. They responded to you by THINKING what they wanted to say, and then confused that with sending an actual e-mail.
3. There is some task required or some information they need before they can respond to you effectively.
4. They have some complicated feelings about you and may be waiting for those to resolve.
5. They tend to respond more quickly to the people they are worried about, and they are not worried about you.
6. While they are waiting for the right time to respond, they become overwhelmed by having to juggle too many priorities, and they lose track of things.
7. They believe you don’t need a response from them.
8. They took in what you communicated, appreciated it, and moved on.
9. They don’t think they’re important to you, thus assuming you won’t care whether or not they respond.
10. You’re not  important enough to them.

If you’re like me (and a lot of other people I know), you might assume the reason is that last one (because that would be your worst fear, people).

Look at all those other possibilities, though! Chances are that the last reason is NOT the most accurate one. (Although it could be.) (Still, probably less often than you think.)

Can you think of other helpful reasons  to include in this list?  Are there some other reasons why YOU might not respond back to somebody in your life?

Thanks to Mia and all the other people in my life who helped me think about this post. And thanks to you, for reading.

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* For you grammar fans out there, I am preferring to use “they” instead of “he or she.”  Feel free to protest that decision; I would be delighted to read what you have to say about that.