Posts Tagged With: rejection

Day 1921: It’s a shame

When you reach out to somebody clearly expressing a wish to connect and you consistently get nothing in return, it’s a shame.  I mean,  that’s not only an unfortunate and perplexing experience, it also triggers the shame response, which (according to Google) looks like this:

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(image found here)

When I experience the shame response, I

  • feel the urge to withdraw and hide,
  • try to figure out why there’s been no reaction to my attempts to connect,
  • remember that experiencing shame in response to perceived devaluation or rejection is a universal human reaction and that there’s no shame in shame, and
  • resolve  to reconnect more effectively — if not to the same person then to others.

What do you do when you experience the shame response to perceived devaluation or rejection?

I think it’s a shame if I don’t share my photos from yesterday.

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It’s a shame that the last image shows a color copy of a 20 dollar bill and not the real thing.

Here‘s “It’s a Shame” by The Spinners:

 

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Knowing that your input is important to others helps dispel the shame response.  Questions?  Concerns?  Suggestions?

It’s a shame if I don’t remember to thank all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — YOU.

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Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Day 165: Rejection, Schmejection

Here are the headlines:

HEADLINE # 1.

My son is home, recovering well from the spontaneous pneumothorax.

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HEADLINE #2.

My presentation about my new groups, at a 3-day group therapy conference this weekend —  which I’ve been blathering about for months (here and elsewhere) — has been cancelled, due to low registration.

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When you are upset, down, judgmental, or any other place you don’t want to be, try  this: Distracting yourself.  It works! Here’s proof: Rather than feeling  relief, disappointment, embarrassment, self-criticism,  conference-criticism, pessimism, or optimism, I am now thinking, “What the hell is going on with that cricket? And why?”

Gotta go to the conference.  Thanks so much for reading today.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

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