4 times be-4 (but who’s counting?), I’ve published blog posts with similar titles (here, here, here, and here).
I could label a title like this — “What is the title of this post?” — as lazy, or I could choose to reframe this choice more positively and with more self-forgiveness.
For example, maybe I am using this title today because I am interested 2 C how YOU might title a post with all these photos:
Yesterday, at a Coping and Healing group where we were practicing reframes, forgiveness, the serenity prayer, acceptance of ourselves and others, and some new perspectives, one of the group members spoke about the concept of practicing happinesss — much like one practices a musical instrument. We practiced that by going around the room and naming specific ways we could practice happiness, starting now.
One of my named ways to practice happiness was listening to music I love.
I’ve also been practicing happiness daily by blogging and by taking the photos I share here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally. Can you see any examples of practicing happiness in today’s pictures?
Voila! When you practice happiness, just like when you practice anything else, you get better at it.
I look forward to practicing happiness later by reading comments, below, about how you might practice happiness, here and now.
Practicing happiness includes expressing gratitude, so thanks to all who helped me write this practicing-happiness post and thanks to you, for reading it.
“Are we having fun yet?” was something I expressed several times yesterday, as I
started packing for my trip to L.A.,
grappled with money issues,
added a new verse to a song,
dealt with hurt feelings,
talked to people about hope and hopelessness,
had the self control to have the soup instead of the very fun-looking and highly caloric pasta dish in the hospital cafeteria,
couldn’t find my folder filled with group therapy worksheets and exercises,
glanced at the news, and
facilitated two groups, one of which focused on fun.
Are we having fun yet in today’s blog post?
Are we having fun yet as we try to read my handwriting in today’s photos?
Are we having fun yet as I share this story about when I decided to have fun earlier this week?
Wednesday morning, after my second night in a row of insomnia, I looked at the weather app on my iPhone to decide how to dress for the day. I saw that the day was going to start out cold but become considerably warmer, so I decided to wear a very light coat. When I was driving to work, I looked at the app again and noticed that I had been looking at the weather for Cupertino, California, instead of the weather for Boston, Massachusetts, which was going to start cold and stay that way. I decided to have fun with it, so I laughed instead of complaining whenever I felt the cold.
Are we having fun yet trying to guess what music I’m going to share in today’s post?
Soon after Christopher framed that comment, my dear cousin Lani brought over this perfectly framed house warming present:
The cats that are framed in that cat frame gift set look like our cat Oscar and the late, lamented Milo. I wonder what photos will be framed in those frames in the future?
Here are the rest of the photos I framed with my iPhone yesterday.
Here‘s a photo of Lani I framed with my iPhone over three years ago:
That’s Lani in the frame with her late, precious kitty, Jewel. As Lani and I framed many thoughts and feelings yesterday, she said she’s almost ready to consider getting another cat. I framed a request that Lani include me in her search for a new kitty, when she’s ready.
Cognitive reframing is a psychological technique that consists of identifying and then disputing irrational or maladaptive thoughts. Reframing is a way of viewing and experiencing events, ideas, concepts and emotions to find more positive alternatives.
I’ve also experienced people reframing events, ideas, concepts, and emotions to find more negative alternatives. In those cases, people might feel framed, like The Coasters describe in “Framed.”
I’m looking forward to the comments framed by my readers about this post.
Now it’s time for me to frame my thanks to all those who helped me frame this “Framed” post and — of course! — to YOU.
Today, my answer to my own question — “what’s the worst thing that anybody ever called you” — is “Incapable.”
I am capable of admitting that I AM incapable in many areas, including
getting enough sleep,
knowing things before I have a chance to learn them,
having a poker face,
cooking as well as my boyfriend Michael,
keeping my desk neat and organized,
wrapping presents beautifully,
understanding how dogs think,
ignoring cats,
giving up hope for humanity, and
stopping my busy mind,
but I still think that “incapable” is the worst thing anybody has ever called me.
Three and a half years ago, when I wrote Day 867: Difficult — which had a list of every unkind label people had called me that I was capable of remembering up to that point — I was incapable of including “incapable” on that list. However, now that somebody HAS called me “incapable,” I am more capable of realizing that I have harshly and unfairly labeled myself “incapable” whenever I’ve made mistakes.
Also, even though nobody called me “incapable” until recently, I got the message I was incapable when I entered 7th grade of a public Junior High School. The administrators there decided that, because of my heart condition, I was incapable of keeping up with the smartest kids in the class. I eventually proved that I was not as incapable as they thought, when I became class Valedictorian senior year.
As I’m writing about “incapable,” here and now, I am capable of letting go of that unhelpful label. Instead, I am focusing on the ways I am capable, which include the capability to take pictures and share them here.
I am not incapable of telling stories in rhyme, including this one:
I am not incapable of expressing my gratitude to all who helped me create this “Incapable” post and — of course! — YOU, for being capable of reading it.
Consider the source of today’s post — it’s my blog! Is that a source you trust, know, can vouch for? Is it a source that’s helpful, doubtful, consistent, confusing, reliable, familiar, new, or whatever for YOU?
Consider the Source. If you’re receiving negative, upsetting messages, take a step back and look at where those messages are coming from. Is that source reliable? Is it usually negative? How do other people see that source? If the source is your own internalized critic, consider that you may be too harsh on yourself.
Consider the source of today’s photos — it’s my iPhone!
Yesterday, in a therapy group, we talked about silver linings, which are
the hopeful side of a situation that might seem gloomy on the surface. The common expression “every cloud has a silver lining” means that even the worst events or situations have some positive aspect.
The silver linings we talked about in group included the dark clouds of traumatic events which had made people stronger, more resilient, and grateful for the gifts of the present.
I found my own silver linings in that group: I couldn’t write important themes up on the white board because of my torn rotator cuff so one of the group participants wrote those lines instead, which meant
more group engagement and
better hand-writing.
I was so pleased with these silver linings that I said,”Now I’m glad I hurt my arm.” At first the group said, in unison, “No you’re not!” but that led to more valuable discussions about silver linings.
I want to underline this about silver linings: I’m a person who can find a silver lining in my own painful injuries, but I can NOT find silver linings in another horrific assault-weapon massacre in the U.S. Maybe I can’t find silver linings there because nothing seems to disperse or lessen the cloud of gun violence in the United States.
When my only child decided to go to the University of Edinburgh I easily found this silver lining: no school shootings in Scotland.
What are your thoughts and feelings about silver linings? Can you find any silver linings in my other photos?
I have a silver lining of hope that people will change their thoughts and change the world .
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 