Day 1655: Letting go

Is everybody ready for another post about letting go?

Before I say more about letting go, I’m not letting go of my habit of sharing links to my previous posts with similar titles (here, here, and here).   I am now letting go any judgment of the fact that all those previous “Letting Go” posts occurred during the first year of this living-non-judgmentally blog.

Now that I’ve let go of that, I want to tell you that yesterday’s  therapy group focused on “Letting Go.”

I’m now letting go of my disappointment about my inability to include a blow-up of that white board, zooming in on the words “letting go” (in a different color, on the right). If you can’t find “letting go” amid all the red on that white board, let it go.

People in yesterday’s therapy group did an exercise in letting go by writing down words of things they wanted to let go. Here are some of the words I let go:

DOOM

GLOOM

DISASTER

JUDGMENT

HATE

UNWORTHY

SELFISH

FEAR

 

Since last fall, I’ve been letting go of negative reactions about

1. my open heart surgery,
2. the recall of my pacemaker/defibrillator, and
3. the U.S. election.

Letting go takes a lot of work!

Now, I’m letting go of many things as we prepare for our move close to the ocean. Sister Thrift is a great place to let go of possessions for a wonderful cause.

Now I’m letting go of all my other photos from yesterday.

While I did let go of many CDs yesterday, I’m not letting go of any of the Compact Discs shown above.

Here‘s Bonnie Raitt singing an amazing song about letting go:

Feel free to let go of any thoughts and feelings about this post in a comment, below.

I’m now letting my gratitude — for all those who helped me create this post and for all those who are reading it — go out into the universe.

 

Day 1528: Other people’s worries

Hello, people!  Do you have worries, right now?

If you do have worries, how might that affect me or other people?

Does anybody worry about how your worry might make other people worry?

Don’t worry, people!  I’m now getting to the point of this post.

Lately, as I recover from open heart surgery, I have noticed other people’s worries about me.  Other people’s worries result in worried questions, like “Are you sure you’re up to this?”  “Are you doing too much?”  “Are you taking on too many things, too quickly?”

I’m not worried about these other people’s worries. Instead,  I appreciate their concern.

However, I do not take on their worries.  I’ve got enough worries, of my own.

Today, I’ll be seeing my cardiologist, Dr. Deeb Salem. If he’s worried, THEN I’ll be worried.

Are other people worried about whether I have any photos to share today?

 

 

Don’t worry, people, I’m going to explain that last photo.  Yesterday, a water main broke in the Longwood Medical Area  of Boston.  Other people besides me were very late to work.  Did that worry me?  No.   Did it affect my sense of self worth?  Don’t worry about that, either. I and many other people have been working on keeping our sense of self worth protected from everything that comes at us, including other people’s worries.

I hope people aren’t worrying about what YouTube video I’m going to share. When I search “Other people’s worries,” THIS comes up:

I’m not worried about those dogs. Are other people worried?

Other people who regularly read this blog are not worried, I’m sure, about whether I’m going to express gratitude to all who helped me create this post or to you — of course! — for being here, now.

 

Day 1523: Confused?

Confused?  You’ve come to the right place.

Confused?  You’re not alone.

Confused?  How could we NOT be confused?

Yesterday, I was confused by:

• people,
• politics,
• politicians,
• accessories,
• cats,
• cars,
• possessions,
• advice,
• attachments,
• the press,
• the tax code,
• time,
• the internet,
• television,
• rules,
• contracts,
• parking,
• my iPhone,
• music,
• literature,
• responsibility,
• liability,
• signs,
• food,
• geography,
• language,
• tension,
• houses,
• magazines,
• words,
• pictures,
• beginnings,
• endings,
• my own thoughts and feelings,
• other people’s thoughts and feelings, and
• so much more.

Confused by any of these photos?

Yesterday, I was confused and delighted when my walks to and from work started and ended with two versions of the same song.

 

I hope the staff at cardiac rehab isn’t confused when I’m steppin’ out there at 7:30 this morning.

No matter how confused or confusing I am, I won’t forget to thank all those who helped me create this  post and you — of course! — for visiting this confused cat, today.

 

Day 1517: My own experience

My own experience is that I am the expert on my own experience.

That is my own t-shirt, which I’ve experienced owning for two years. I own that I enjoy the experience of wearing that t-shirt to appointments with my  own doctors.

Yesterday, my own experience included talking to Josh  from Liberty Mutual who is now managing my long-term disability claim. Josh started off our conversation with, “You’ve had quite the year, haven’t you?” My own experience is that Josh has had good experience dealing with disability claims.

My own experience has included all this:

My own experience is that pictures can tell a story.

Ann Judith Koplow …

… has been having lots of feelings lately.

But because she’s with the King of Cheeses …

… who is silly, honest, and kind …

… she’s going to be okay.

My own experience is that Jimi Hendrix is one of the most amazing guitarists that the world has ever experienced. Here’s a behind-the-scenes look at “Are You Experienced?” and a rare live performance:

 

What is your own experience of today’s post?

My own experience is that I’m grateful to all who helped me create it and to you — of course! — for sharing my experience, here and now.

Day 1474: Safety

Lately,  people around me seem very concerned about safety.

Last night, safety was the main topic in my therapy group.

Here’s how I expressed myself about safety:

Somebody else in the group made a “safety crown.”

How would you express yourself about the topic “safety”?

I think the other photos I took yesterday relate to safety, too.

 

I guess I feel enough safety on this blog to show myself, open-heart surgery scar and all.

I’m late for cardiac rehab,  so safety dictates that I end my post here, with one more photo.

 

 

Day 1460: Circles

As I circle back here to create another daily blog post, I notice that I’ve circled through the concept of circles before (here and here).  If you’d like your thoughts to circle more positively, it’s worthwhile to circle through those previous circular posts.

As any new year approaches,  my mind circles through memories of the past and wonders about the future. Those circles make it difficult to circle in on the present moment. Nevertheless, I try to circle back to the present moment, over and over again.

What’s circling in your mind, here and now?

Yesterday, somebody in a therapy group circled around to asking if he could co-lead the group with me.  I circled my seat around to let him sit at the head of the table.  He helped the group circle through many important topics, including this one:

You can circle to more information about the wheel of intimacy here.

Do you see circles in the other recent photos circling on my iPhone?

Before I circle back to cardiac rehab and all the circling machines there this morning, I have time to circle around to music  by The Cyrkle …

 

… and to gratitude.

Day 1445: What’s in store?

What’s in store for this blog post?  The usual new photos stored on my iPhone,  some thoughts and feelings  being stored in the here and now, and music that’s stored on YouTube.

What in store for the next four years?  What’s in store for this moment?  What’s in store for the moment after that?  Only everything.

People in my therapy group yesterday did not know what topic was in store for them, until we decided to write and draw about the concept of “home.”

This present was in store for me at work:

All these things were in store for me during the rest of the day:

 

 

I didn’t know tears were in store for me, but here I am, crying, as I create this post.  Those tears were probably stored up  from my  recent open heart surgery, the additional surgery I had to undergo soon after that because of a recalled pacemaker battery, and the U.S. election.

The message that was stored on the teabag that was in store for me last night stores the truth:

By listening you comfort me.

Here‘s the music in store today (which I listened to twice, yesterday, for comfort):

 

I wonder what comments are in store for me?

Stored up thanks to all who helped me create this post and to you — of course! — whose appreciated presence was a present in store for me today.

Day 1444: A relaxed mind …

How would you complete this sentence?

A relaxed mind …

Here are ways that I would complete that sentence.  A relaxed mind …

• has been difficult for me to attain since my recent open heart surgery and the U.S. presidential election,
• is something I invite  in my therapy groups,
• is an unusual mind in today’s busy, noisy, and rushed environment,
• is a helpful break from anxiety, worry, and  fear, as well as cognitive distortions including fortune telling, catastrophizing, mind reading, and shoulds.

Here’s how a teabag would complete that sentence:

 

Do any of my other photos from yesterday complete that sentence?

 

Here‘s music for a relaxed mind:

 

A relaxed mind is one that is capable of expressing gratitude.

Day 1442: Entertaining

Here’s the first entertaining image I captured yesterday.

Today, my boyfriend Michael and I are looking at a home described this way on the entertaining website Trulia:

This charming and sunny single-family home features an open floor plan on the first level of the home, making it perfect for entertaining.

Actually, Michael and I do very little entertaining, even though we’re pretty entertaining people. I find it entertaining that the Trulia description completely omits the most entertaining aspect of this home for me: it’s REALLY close to the entertaining Atlantic ocean.  I’ve decided that because I find U.S. politics so completely unentertaining, I need the entertainment of long walks on the  Massachusetts seashore.

Speaking of the entertaining Massachusetts seashore,  my entertaining boyfriend and I recently saw the movie Manchester by the Sea.  You might find it entertaining to know that I grew up in an entertaining town very close to Manchester-by-the-Sea  on the North Shore of Boston, and I find it entertaining that Manchester-by-the-Sea was just called Manchester back then. Here’s a quote from entertaining Wikipedia:

To prevent confusion with the nearby and much larger city of Manchester, New Hampshire, the name of the town was officially changed in 1989 following a close town meeting vote that year and an act of the state legislature passed on September 25, 1989.

By the way, Manchester by the Sea is an  amazing movie. It’s an incredible combination of soulful humanity, searing tragedy, unblinking honesty, superb acting, skillful direction, beautiful cinematography, and  surprisingly entertaining dialog — a film I will always remember.  If I were  an entertainment critic, I would strongly urge you to see it. Also, if you find Boston accents entertaining, there are lots of them in Manchester by the Sea.

That reminds me of this very entertaining clip parodying Boston-based movies from Late Night with Seth Myers:

 

It’s time for my other entertaining pictures from yesterday!

Now I have to rush off to another entertaining session at Cardiac Rehab, because the staff there are not entertained when I’m late.

Here’s one more entertaining photo from me:

Day 1440: What people remember

Sometimes I wonder what people remember about

• themselves,
• each other,
• their dreams,
• history,
• me, and
• my blog.

What do you remember?   I remember

• song lyrics from when I was in my teens and 20s,
• Avogadro’s number,
• most of the dialog from The Producers,
• my first phone number,
• Robert Vaughn‘s birthday,
• how scared I was before I did stand-up comedy at an Open Mic in the 1980s,
• cast members for movies I’ve never seen,
• what happened the evening after my recent open heart surgery (even though everybody said I’d remember nothing),
• mistakes I’ve made,
• what my 8th grade English teacher would wear EVERY DAY, and
• exactly what my son looked like moments after he was born.

Remember, I share photos in every blog post.

 

I remember that I kept being tough at cardiac rehab yesterday and that we had a GREAT meal at Beijing Chinese Dining last night.

If I say more, people might remember less, so here‘s the first popular song I remember remembering the lyrics to:

I hope you remember to leave a comment.

Please remember to express gratitude to somebody today, just as I’m expressing gratitude to all who helped me create this post and to YOU.