Day 3440: National Loving Day

I’m loving that there is a National Loving Day.

I’m loving that you’re reading my blog, here and now, and looking at today’s images.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “National Loving Day.”

Thanks to all the loving people who helped me create this National Loving Day post, including YOU!

Day 3383: Good

Good of you to visit my blog today!

Let’s see if there’s a good definition of “good” on the internet.

Here’s a thought I’m having immediately about that “good” definition: what’s with the gender stereotypes in that definition (genius = male and women in the kitchen)? And what does “good school” usually mean to people? Could there be some unconscious bias and racism there?

It you think I’m trying to “cancel” the dictionary, the comments section below is a good place to express all your feelings.

Do you see good in my images for today?

There are a lot of good things on that list, but I’ve stopped eating popcorn because it’s not good for my teeth. And it’s good to remember that the negative tends to stick to us, so why not practice being like Teflon today?

Here’s “Only the Good Die Young” by Billy Joel, performed in my good old hometown.

It’s good to end these posts with gratitude, so thanks to all who help me blog every day, including YOU!

Day 3133: Rhetorical Questions

Do people know what rhetorical questions are?

Do you see rhetorical questions in any of my images for today?

Should I check YouTube for rhetorical questions?

Here’s a song that asks a rhetorical question:

Might you consider leaving a comment about this post?

Is gratitude a good way to end a post about rhetorical questions?

Day 3009: Incredible life moments

It’s incredible how many incredible life moments I’ve been able to share and experience here.

Over the years, there have been so many incredible life moments where the incredible support of my blogging community has nourished and sustained me.

Here are some incredible life moments from yesterday:

Some of my incredible life moments yesterday included:

• getting our taxes done early,
• dreading the moment of e-filing because of the way the IRS rejected our return last year because someone in the social security office had made the incredible mistake in the past of entering Michael’s birthday incorrectly, which was a bitch to correct during a pandemic, which I won’t take any more incredible life moments to describe,
• talking myself out of my fear of another IRS rejection by reminding myself that the birthday problem had been solved,
• hitting the e-file button,
• the IRS incredibly rejecting my e-file twice, claiming that the 2019 Adjusted Gross Income I entered didn’t match their records, even though it DID,
• listening to incredibly annoying music and recorded people babbling on hold for many incredible life moments, waiting to talk to an H&R Block customer service person,
• listening to incredibly annoying babbling thoughts in my head about how the customer service person would not be able to help me and I’d have to mail in our return just like last year and our refunds would be months late again and why do these things always happen to me blah blah blah,
• reaching an incredibly helpful and empathic customer service person who suggested we try a non-intuitive (to me) workaround solution,
• asking the customer service person to stay on the line with me as I tried to e-file for the third time, and
• SUCCESS!

Here’s what I find when I search YouTube for “incredible life moments”:

It would be an incredible life moment if you left a comment, below.

I am grateful for every incredible life moment, including this one I’m sharing now with you.

Day 2754: Reasons you should speak up

Are you ever in situations where you don’t speak up, and you’re not sure why you are silencing yourself?

I’ve noticed this in myself and in others. And this tendency to not speak up is especially critical these days, when silence can equal violence.

Besides that article about speaking up against racism (linked to in the previous paragraph), I’m also looking at a helpful article by Kevin Daum that discusses 5 Reasons You Should Speak Up (Even When You Think You Shouldn’t).  For me, the highlights of that article are that

• Silence is deemed approval and is not an effective way to avoid conflict.
• Many stay silent because they don’t want to do any harm by criticizing or offending someone.
• It’s important to show your commitment to the process by being vocal.
• Honesty builds trust, especially when combined with tact and empathy.
• What’s obvious to you might not be obvious to others.
• You may not be alone in your thinking.

Are there other reasons to speak up? What might get in the way of you speaking up about that, here?

For me, what gets in the way of speaking up includes:

• fear of doing harm,
• fear of being misunderstood,
• fear of feeling alone,
• fear of being attacked for my opinion,
• fear of exposing myself or others,
• fears that are difficult to describe but which have lived in my heart for a long time,
• wanting to maintain harmony whenever possible,
• internalized sexism,
• internalized ageism,
• the saying “silence is golden,”
• not being sure, in the moment, of what I want to say,
• wishing to hear all sides before I decide what I want to say,
• denial about what is going on (if the situation feels uncomfortable),
• believing that the time  to speak up has passed,
• distraction,
• exhaustion,
• mind-reading, catastrophizing, and other cognitive distortions.

However, when I don’t speak up, I usually regret it. It’s helpful for me to

• remember that I CAN  speak up next time and
• forgive myself for my past silences, because guilt and shame are silencers.

Are there reasons to speak up about my pictures from yesterday?

 

Please don’t be afraid of those right and wrong buzzers and speak up in a comment, below.

I also want to speak up about my friend Megan …

… who gives me the courage to speak up. Yesterday, we spoke up to each other about the pandemic, racism, privilege, our work as therapists, the death of a shared patient from COVID-19,  difficult people, uncertainty, masks, politics, hopes, our children, the past, the present, the future, and our long-time friendship.

Here‘s “Speak Up, Speak Out” from Melinda Carroll:

 

Nothing gets in the way of my speaking up  about my gratitude to all who help me create these posts and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

 

Day 2715: Shadows

Today, the United States is dealing with terrible shadows, cast by many.

Three years ago, this televised Brief History of Racism included  the poet and artist known as Sir Shadow reciting  his ode to Timothy Caughman. Timothy Caughman was a 66-year-old social worker who was stabbed to death in New York City by a 28-year-old white man who had traveled there to kill black men.

 

I’m glad I took pictures of shadows yesterday; otherwise I wouldn’t have found and shared that video with you today.

What shadows do you see, when you look around?

Without a shadow of a doubt, I am grateful for all who showed up here today.

 

Day 2713: Cuts

As I’m taking my first cut at today’s daily blog post, I want to share this quote about cuts that cut through a lot of noise yesterday:

.

Do you see any cuts in the other images I captured yesterday?

 

.

Here‘s a cut from “Just for Laughs” with Margaret Cho:

.

Feel free to take a cut at a creating a comment, below.

Let’s cut to the chase which, in this blog, is gratitude!

 

 

 

Day 2711: What you own

Today, I am owning

• my mistakes,
• my wounds,
• how I have wounded others,
• my power,
• my internalized isms (racism, sexism, ageism, antisemitism, etc.), and
• these photos.

What do you own?

I continue to own gratitude for all of you.

 

Day 2709: How to be a racial transformer

One of our critically important  life choices for community is how to be a racial transformer.

Do you have

1. An open mind?
2. Alert eyes?
3. Big ears?
4. Vocal mouth?
5. Strong backbone?
6. Loving heart?
7. Rolled-up sleeves?
8. Outstretched arms?
9. Decoder ring?
10. Smart phone?
11. Pocketbook?
12. Moving legs?
13. Grounded feet?

Let’s use our superpowers, here and now. Who wants to join me?

Here’s a transformative YouTube video: “3 Things White People Can Do To Help Fight Racism.”

 

 

Please transform this blog post with your ideas about how to be a racial transformer.

Day 2708: Life Choices

Every day, we make life choices which affect outcomes in ways we might not expect. Some of us are privileged enough to have more choices than others.

Today, I’m making the choice to share all these moments of my life from yesterday:

I like life choices that Jimmy Kimmel made on his show on Friday night.

My life choices always include gratitude, so thanks to all who visited this blog, here and now.