Many people in my Coping and Healing groups aspire to do less people pleasing. I find it pleasing to encourage people to balance their needs with other people’s needs.
Let’s see what the Daily Bitch pleases to say about people pleasing.
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Do you see people pleasing in my other images for today?
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I didn’t know which list would be more pleasing to people, so it was a no brainer for me to share both.
Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “people pleasing.”
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It pleases me to present a video about people pleasing by The Crappy Childhood Fairy on the same day that I’m sharing my Twitter question about favorite fairy tales. If it pleases other people, that’s a bonus.
Thanks to all the pleasing people who helped me write this “people pleasing” post, including YOU!
Even though I’ve been doing this blogging thing one day at time for two thousand, six hundred, and sixty-two consecutive days, I’ve never before written a post titled “One Day at a Time.”
One day, at a time when twelve people were doing a remote Coping and Healing group online, many talked about taking the coronavirus pandemic one day at a time.
These are all the other images I captured one day, at a time:
Can’t sleep ? Consider taking these days one MOMENT at a time.
In one day at a time, here and now, I will be:
Doing individual therapy online,
Facilitating another Coping and Healing group remotely,
Yesterday, in a Coping and Healing group, non-difficult people talked about difficult people.
If it’s difficult to see “difficult people’ in that list of topics, it’s on the third line, third topic from the right. Some solutions to dealing with difficult people are also on that third line: “self care” and “letting it go.”
Coincidentally, I was researching difficult people the day before that group. Here‘s a link to a Psychology Today article by Kimberley Key — “How to Handle a Crazymaker: 4 keys to keep from losing it when they start playing games.” Kimberley Key’s 4 keys to dealing with difficult people are:
Take an observer’s point of view.
Maintain a healthy sense of self worth.
Keep a healthy distance.
Cultivate internal validation.
I need to deal with a difficult person at work today. Blogging about that, here and now, is reducing the difficulty for me — I’m actually looking forward to the opportunity to practice these helpful skills.
Is that difficult to believe?
Let’s see if there are difficult people in my other photos from yesterday:
Harley deals with difficult people by hiding under the bed.
Even difficult people can inspire good things. It was because of a difficult person that I wrote my first original song, 16 months ago:
And a difficult person inspired my latest song, which I performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe last month:
How do you deal with difficult people?
Here’s another way I deal with difficult people: I get in touch with the gratitude I have for all the non-difficult people in my life, including YOU.
I hope there’s no resentment about my choosing these particular quotes over others from that article:
To psychologists, resentment over a long period of time can be an unhealthy response to injustice.
This kind of resentment can lead to unhappiness, continual irritability, and psychological compromise including excessive anxiety and depression.
I know of one person who, upon having his morning cup of coffee, would replay the injustice and feel the inner strength as a way of getting ready for the day. He did this until he realized that over the long-term, such a routine was leaving him drained before he even left for work
How do I turn off the resentment? What path do I take to have some inner quiet? Taking up jogging might do it……but once you have recovered your energy from the run, the anger returns. How about relaxation training? Same issue: once the muscle relaxation is over, there is the resentment with its perverse smile looking back at you. “I just don’t know how to rid myself of the resentment!” is a cry I hear too often.
Try to see the inner world of the one causing the disturbance.
Commit to doing no harm to the one who is harming you.
Stand in the pain so that you do not pass that pain to innocent others.
To forgive is a way of offering goodness to the one who gave you the unwanted present of resentment.
Which is the better identity: a life lived with an unwanted inner guest or a life free to be a conduit of good toward others and yourself?
Is there any resentment about these photos?
What is your personal experience of resentment? What makes resentment more difficult for you? What helps you deal with resentment?
There will be no resentment about any comments you send my way.
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 