Posts Tagged With: people leaving

Day 1730: It’s not that you’re leaving. It’s that you stayed.

Yesterday, I stayed at my computer to read this transcript of Lesley Stahl’s  interview with U.S. Senator John McCain.

This exchange — about his having the same kind of brain cancer a dear friend of mind is currently battling —  will not be leaving me any time soon:

Lesley Stahl: Do you think that this diagnosis has changed you?

John McCain: No.

Lesley Stahl: Not at all. Same person?

John McCain: No, I think you gotta– you know, you just have to understand that it’s not that you’re leaving. It’s that you– that you stayed.

Yesterday,  I was talking to another dear friend, Megan, who works with me and will be leaving the job soon because of a long commute and family obligations. Megan and I have been focusing on her leaving with tears and sadness.  When I said to her, yesterday, “It’s not that you’re leaving.  It’s that you stayed,” we both felt better.

It’s not that you’re leaving this post at the end, it’s that you stayed to read my words and look at my photographs.

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That’s Megan’s office door, and I’m already imagining what it’s going to be like when she closes that door for the last time, in three weeks,  when she leaves. It helps me to remember that it’s not that she’s leaving; it’s that she stayed.

It’s not that I left Merrily We Roll Along at the end of the performance on Saturday.  It’s that I stayed to hear “Opening Doors.”

 

Thanks to you all, for staying.

 

 

 

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 31 Comments

Day 270: Help with hangovers

Yesterday, at work, I felt  …

Cloudy.

Not myself.

Distracted.

I was thinking thoughts like these:

I’m having trouble being here today.

I wish I could go home.

Why am I feeling this way, after having such a great day yesterday?

I wonder if I’m getting sick?

Have I taken on too much?

What can I identify, right now, that might have contributed to those feelings and thoughts?

  1. Some people, whom I have really enjoyed working with, are leaving.
  2. I’ve been watching many hours of “Breaking Bad,” in a row.
  3. Because of changes in the weather, I  am often too hot or too cold (thanks a lot, Goldilocks).
  4. Because of operating system changes to my iPhone AND to my computer at work, lots of things look quite different.
  5. Perhaps lots of things are looking quite different, because of other things on this list.

What helped with these feeling and thoughts, yesterday?

Listening to other people’s wisdom about what helps them, including the following:

It helps to do a cost-benefit analysis.

Yesterday, somebody named this antidote as particularly helpful to them:

Cost-Benefit Analysis.  List the pros and cons of a negative thought (like “I always screw up”) or a behavior pattern (like isolating when you’re depressed). A simple version of this is to ask yourself, “Does this [thought or action] help me?

It helps to let people know that you appreciate them.

This is especially helpful during these times:

  1. When people are leaving.
  2. When people are still there.

It helps to make a list of Pros and Cons, especially when you are facing a difficult decision.

I just went to my Go-To Application (Google), for some back-up on Pros and Cons.

Here’s what I found, thanks to The Oatmeal:

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Which leads me to this:

It helps to laugh.

This is especially helpful during these times:

  1. When you’re alone.
  2. When you’re with other people.

That concludes our blog post for today, ladies and gentlemen.

Thanks to The Oatmeal, to wise and funny entities of all kinds, and to you, for reading today.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments

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