Day 2388: The black hole

Several times over the course of the Northeastern Society of Group Psychotherapy’s annual conference this past weekend, I heard people, in groups, refer to “the black hole” inside of them, which they were hesitant to reveal or explore.

That invoked, in me, memories of experiencing my own internal black hole, which I am trying to name, here and now.

My best guess is that the black hole is shame — the feeling that there is something fundamentally wrong with you.

The black hole can feel huge.

It can cause us to lose our balance, our tolerance, and our sense of cohesion.

It can turn us into stress balls.

It can isolate us even when we’re in a supportive group.

It can interfere with our leadership.

It can prevent us from diving in to new experiences and staying afloat.

It can make us feel unwelcome even when all the signs are that we ARE welcomed.

It can make us avoid parties and other social events.

It can make us feel lost.

It can make us want to duck and hide.

The black hole of shame can blind us to our own self worth …

… and blind us to the beauty all around us.

 

Here‘s “That Old Black Hole” by Dr. Dog.

 

The best we can do with our black holes is share them with each other and know that we are not alone.

Thanks to all who have helped me confront my own black holes over the years (especially the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy) and thanks to you, here and now.

 

 

Day 2387: What would you like the power to do?

Yesterday, after a day of owning my  power at the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy annual conference (Diving In: From the Shallows to the Deep) and on my way to a wonderful party at the home of one of the NSGP members, I saw this sign:

What would you like the power to do? I would like the power to

• speak up,
• grow,
• be confident,
• play,
• influence,
• encourage people to heal in group therapy,
• reach people through this blog, and
• share my other photos from yesterday.

I wish our current national leaders had the power to be nice and I’m wondering about the power of the upcoming New Hampshire presidential primary.

I would like the power to share my one video from yesterday, but I will have to power up my phone to do that after I share this post via my laptop.

Here, here, here, and here are the original songs I played at the party last night that one powerful  person had the power to call “Brilliant.”

The brilliant person at the party had the power to convince me to try to do a workshop at next year’s conference based on my original songs.

Would you like the power to comment?

I have the power to do gratitude at this daily blog, so thanks to all who gave me the power to create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

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I have the power to share this video of my singing my conference committee gratitude song at the NSGP business meeting yesterday. I also have the power to sing it today at the end of the conference, when it may be more powerful.

 

Day 2386: Have pride in who you are

Yesterday, I published the post Day 2385: What is the title of this post? in which I encouraged readers to propose a title for the day’s collection of photos.

I have pride in who my readers are, and those readers include wonderful WordPresser Mark Bialczak,who posted this comment:

Have Pride in Who You Are
… would be one alternative title, but you may also have used that one in your years of post wisdom, Ann!

I have pride in my answer to Mark:

I have not used that title before, Mark. Therefore, I shall use it for my next blog post! What would I do without you, my friend?

I have pride in using that title, here and now, because

• Boston’s Pride Parade is today,
• I (as part of a “pride” of group therapists) am  attending the annual conference of the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy,
• after over twenty years of attending those sustaining and educational conferences, I have pride in who I am as the President of that organization, and
• the title fits my pride of today’s photos:

 

I have pride that Jocelyn Schur, LCSW, is attending the NSGP conference and also reads this blog!

Here‘s U2 with Pride (in the Name of Love):

Here‘s information about today’s Pride Parade in Boston:

 

Do you have pride in who you are? Please express your thoughts and feelings with pride in a comment, below.

I have pride that gratitude is a big part of who I am, so thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 2384: 2 c or not 2 c

Yesterday, I chose to see this at a hospital parking lot …

… and it occurred to me that we choose what to see and what not to see.

For example, because my eye was red yesterday …

 

… I chose 2  C  several eye-related things.

Because I have an unusual heart, I often choose 2 C heart-related things.

Because it’s Pride Week, I chose 2 C this:

Because I want to avoid collisions, I chose 2 C these:

Here are more things I chose 2 C yesterday:

 

Were U able 2 C that these socks …

… are Ouija Board socks?  I choose 2 C that those socks are 4 people who want 2 C into the future.

I choose 2 C that Prince‘s song “I Would Die 4 U” is on YouTube, at least 4 now:

I also choose 2 C that Prince’s birthday is tomorrow, June 7.   I also choose 2 C that tomorrow is the start of the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy’s annual conference in Boston.

What do you choose 2 C and not 2 C in today’s blog post?

I always choose 2 C gratitude, so thanks 2 all who helped me 2 create this “2 C or not 2 C” post and — of course! — 2 U!

 

 

Day 2381: M.I.A.

Last night, at a Sunday working meeting to prepare for next weekend’s group therapy conference, somebody told me they thought I’d been M.I.A. for the last few days. I had many thoughts about that, including:

• “Missing In Action”?  I’ve been right here all along!
• Does that mean I’ve been Missing Important Action?
• Has my responsiveness and accessibility changed since my son came home for the summer?
• People notice when I’m missing!
• I’m missing my very close friend from the organization, who passed away this time last year.
• I don’t like to miss anything.

Last night, I dreamed about being lost with my sister and my son, leaving them to find help, and then missing my phone and ways to get back to them.  I was searching desperately for everything that was missing, over and over again, and then told somebody in my dream, “I can never get a break!”

I woke up deciding to write about M.I.A. Then I noticed that, as usual,  the action in some of my latest photos fit the action of my daily topic. I don’t want you to be missing any of those pictures, so here they are:

 

Here‘s “Borders” by M.I.A.

I don’t want to be missing the action in your comments, so please leave one below.

Gratitude is never M.I.A. here, so thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

Day 2358: We want to know what you think!

I don’t know what you think, but when I see a sign that says people want to know what I think …

… I often think this:

They want to sell me something.

I think I might be too suspicious, especially since I always tell people in my Coping and Healing groups that I want to know what they think.

I let people in my groups know that I want to know what they think (and feel) by naming what I’m curious about in the moment, which often includes

• their experience of whatever mindfulness exercise we did at the beginning of the group,
• everything that’s happened since the last time I saw them,
• what’s going on for them in the moment (including thoughts, feelings, and body experiences),
• anything they’re aware of that might be contributing to what’s going on for them in the moment, and
• many other curious thoughts I’m having.

Then I shut up, to let them know I’m more interested in what they think than I am in what I think.

I want to know what you think about my other photos from yesterday.

 

 

 

I want to know what you think about things I might do during my week off from work, besides

• walk and observe nature,
• see lots of flowering trees,
• spend time with friends,
• enjoy delicious food,
• complete a *%$*&#@ form for the Internal Revenue Service,
• chair a board meeting of group therapists,
• let people know about the Northeastern Society for  Group Psychotherapy‘s June conference,
• celebrate Mother’s Day,
• miss my late mother, and
• appreciate each precious moment.

I want to know what you think of this song:

 

We want to know what you think of this post, of course.

Do you want to know what I think?  I’m thinking thoughts of gratitude for all those who helped me create today’s blog and — of course! — for YOU.

 

Day 2348: Struck

I’m struck by how I’ve never used the word “struck” in a blog post title before.

I’m struck by how I’ve used the word “struck” in 13 previous blog posts, including Day 1966: Memorable lines,  Day 1875: Tipping Point, Day 1292: Seeing patients, Day 981: Righteous Numbers, Day 956: Never Give Up, Day 717: Interrupting, Day 463: Surprises, Day 367: Screen Shots, Day 364: What day is it?, Day 284: We never know how we affect people (The Ta-Da Pose),  Day 100: I Confess, Day 75: Things that make me go _____, and Day 58: Accelerated learning.

I’m struck by how …

• long it takes me to do one of these “linking to old posts” openings,
•  much my blog has changed over the years,
• relevant some of those old post titles seem to me today,
• many challenges I’ve been struck by (but not struck down by) over the years, and
• many of my photos from yesterday connect with today’s title.

 

 

I’m struck by how

• long it takes me to make photo montages look right,
• much I love being a group therapist,
• many gates there are around Fenway Park, and
• wonderful it is to live near the water.

Here’s the award-winning short film Struck:

 

What are you struck by, here and now?

As usual, I’m struck by gratitude for all who help me create these daily posts and — of course! — for YOU.