Day 2518: Mood swings

Yesterday was November 22, a day when I’ve often had mood swings.  Why? Because fifty-six years ago on that date, President John F. Kennedy was assassinated and I had my first heart surgery to get my first cardiac pacemaker.

After I swung myself out of bed, I put on my “I have mood swings” socks, hoping that my mood swings that day would be manageable.

Thankfully, my mood swings yesterday were not remarkable. For example, when I noticed that Michael had removed stuff from two kitchen cabinets during the night, I thought, “That can’t be good.”

But my mood didn’t swing dramatically.

When I noticed a truck that reminded me of death on my way into work …

…. my mood didn’t swing that much.

Here are more things that caused negligible mood swings yesterday:

Did any of those photos swing your mood in any way?

Here‘s The Mood Swings Orchestra, an all-woman big band located in the Boston area:

I expect my mood will swing up when I read your comments about this “Mood Swings” post.  Thanks to all, including YOU.

Day 2444: Different

Although I’ve published many different posts, including Day 2358: A little bit different, Day 1930: Lucky to be different, Day 1835: Different ways to say things, Day 1762: Different parts, Day 1726: Different perspectives, Day 972: Intentionally Different, Day 689: Different styles,  Day 690: Different styles (continued), and Day 453: Different languages (and dances), this post is different from all the other ones, just as each one of us is different from everybody else.

When I give a 5-minute talk at my college reunion on September 21, I’m going to stress how different I am, with this beginning:

Everybody our age remembers where they were and what they were doing on November 22, 1963. I’m different from the rest of you.  I have no memories of that day, because I was having heart surgery to receive my first cardiac pacemaker.

Every time I rewrite that opening, it’s different, but the meaning remains the same.

This post is different because it has only three photos.

Today is going to be different because

• I’ll be facilitating a different version of my Coping and Healing groups for staff at the Primary Care Practice of the major Boston hospital where I work and
• each day is different from what we expect.

Last night, I asked my boyfriend Michael — who is different from everybody else —  if he thought that staff group would go okay today.  He said (in different words), “Why should this be different from every other time you’ve done this before?”

Here’s “Dare to be Different” by Donovan (with a slideshow of different photos created by passage2truth):

As always, I care about your different thoughts and feelings about this post.

There are many different ways to express gratitude to those who help me create this blog and to those who read it, and here are some of them:

Day 1787: Progress

I often tell people in therapy that it’s important to acknowledge and validate progress, especially their own.

Therefore, I’m going to acknowledge and validate progress in several areas.

Michael sent me the three photos he took for me on Saturday.

  

I am having a pain-free reaction this year to November 22, the anniversary of the 1963 assassination of John F. Kennedy and also my first heart surgery at age 10 (progressively blogged about here, here, here, here, and here).

For now, when I have my teeth cleaned (as I am today), I take only a single  pill of antibiotics instead of having an intravenous infusion  (progressively blogged about here and here).

Because I got my own INR monitor last week, I can test my blood levels at home instead of going into the hospital every few weeks to manage my anticoagulant medication.

There is progress in women feeling safer to speak up about sexual harassment.

I continue to progress in taking photos for this blog.

I hope we can make progress towards peace.

Here’s “Progress” by Mutemath:

I shall now progress in giving thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

Day 1423: Strange

During these strange times, is it strange that I

• wake up writing my next strange blog post in my strange head?
• am solving lots of strange jigsaw puzzles online?
• consult with  doctors every week to make sure my strange heart is doing its best to extend my strange life?
• work on letting go of strange feelings from lots of strange experiences I’ve had this fall?
• have some strange fear about the future?
• surround myself with strange but wonderful people?
• take comfort in seeing movies like Dr. Strange?

Here are recent strange photos I took with my increasingly strange iPhone:

 

 

 

 

 

Here’s what’s strange about that last photo: that “6 ft Santa Claus” was shorter than me, and I’m 5 ft 3 in.

Also, I could have sworn I took a screen shot of my phone yesterday when the time was 11:22 on 11/22, but apparently not.

What seems particularly strange to you, here and now?

Is it strange that I’m having trouble deciding which strange music to include now?   There are so many strange choices!

Here‘s my strange decision:

Is it strange for me to ask for a comment below?

Strange days, my friends.  But it would be a strange day indeed if I forgot to thank all who helped me create this strange blog post and you — of course! —  for helping my world seem less strange.

Day 1422: For the birds

My late father, seen in this photograph of my family which was taken the week before November 22, 1963 …

… used the expression “for the birds” to mean “bad, lousy, unfortunate.”

As my family posed for that picture, we were unaware of some bad, lousy, and unfortunate events that were looming in the future — the assassination of John F. Kennedy and my emergency heart surgery on November 22, 1963.

On this 53rd anniversary of that day, it occurs to me that:

• the U.S. is dealing with many things, right now, that my father would characterize as “for the birds,”
• I like birds, and
• I coincidentally took several photos of birds yesterday.

 

So we could  say that this blog post is for the birds.

Here‘s what I found on YouTube, for the birds:

 

Do you think “For the Birds” is relevant today?

Please leave a comment for the bird who created this blog post.

It would be for the birds, according to my father, if I did not express gratitude to all the birds and humans who helped me create this for-the-birds post and  to my wonderful flock of readers, including you!

Day 1056: Triggers

Today’s post title triggers a wish to define “triggers.”

trig·ger
ˈtriɡər/
noun
plural noun: triggers

a small device that releases a spring or catch and so sets off a mechanism, especially in order to fire a gun.
“he pulled the trigger of the shotgun”
verb
3rd person present: triggers
cause (an event or situation) to happen or exist.
“an allergy can be triggered by stress or overwork”
synonyms: precipitate, prompt, elicit, trigger off, set off, spark (off), touch off, provoke, stir up

Here‘s a description of psychological triggers:

What is a Trigger?

In the strictest sense of the term, trigger is used to refer to experiences that “re-trigger” trauma in the form of flashbacks or overwhelming feelings of sadness, anxiety, or panic. The brain forms a connection between a trigger and the feelings with which it is associated, and some triggers are quite innocuous.

Today’s date, November 22, is a trigger for me. Because my thoughts and feelings have triggered a daily blog post since 1/1/13, November 22 has triggered two previous posts (here and here).

This triggers a question and an answer:

Q. Why is November 22 a trigger for me?

A. On November 22, 1963 — when I and modern medical technology were both very young —  President John F. Kennedy was shot and killed AND I  underwent my first heart surgery, receiving my first of many cardiac pacemakers.

This photo of my family, taken shortly before November 22, 1963,  triggers many memories for me.

Looking at those faces, here and now, triggers this thought:

We didn’t know what was coming.

Yesterday, I was triggered to capture lots of photos. Which ones trigger reactions in you?

This fish bowl, which triggered my taking two photos …

… triggered this reaction in me:

OMG.  They designed this so that the world looks right TO THE FISH.

November 22, 1963, doesn’t trigger any particular music for me, since I was out of it, the whole day. If this post triggers any music in you, feel free to share that (and anything else) below.

Many thanks to all who visit here, today.

Day 305: What November means to me.

As I explained,  way back on Day 105 of this year,  everything makes sense on some level(s).

The main point of that old blog post was this:

You will relate to my (or anybody else’s) experience in some ways, but not in others, because my experience (like yours) has been unique.

But I’m going to let go of the past (that 200-day-old blog post) and be more in the moment, right now.

It’s the first day of November.  I have lots of reactions to the month of November.

And they all make sense, on some level.

You may relate to some of my reactions but not to others, because of where you are.

Some of my reactions to November:

1. It’s autumn in New England, and I’m a wuss about the coming cold, so I’m still not happy about that.
2. At this point, though, I’ve let go of denial and am working on acceptance.  That includes embracing the beauty of what is. For example, this past week, all the mindfulness exercises I did in therapy groups focused on leaves I gathered outside of work. (None of those leaf photos are mine, but those images remind me of the leaves we used, in mindfulness.)
3. November, to me, means November 22nd.  November 22nd, 1963, was the day President John F. Kennedy was shot.  For people who were conscious and aware on that day, that was a life-changing experience.
4. I was unconscious, on that day, because I was having my first heart surgery, at age 10, to get my first cardiac pacemaker.

That’s the punchline, for me, people.

This year, I am planning on experiencing November differently.

How?  I’m making one conscious change.

I am taking November 22nd off from work, and spending that day in a way that’s helpful for me.

I haven’t figured out how I’ll be spending that day. I’ll be working on that, this November.

And already, this November is different.

Thanks to Divinipotent Daily and the town of Bedford, Massachusetts (for the leaf photos, from Google Images Roulette) and to you, of course, for reading today.