Day 2901: Good to know

One thousand, three hundred, and sixty days ago (it’s good to know who’s counting — me!), I wrote another post titled “Good to know.” It’s good to know that it’s still good to know things, even during these times of a deadly pandemic and deadly denial.

I hope it’s good to know that I finally got up some good courage yesterday to call the Internal Revenue Service to know about my good refund, which, as you might know, is a good many months late.

It’s good to know details, so here’s what happened:

• I know how difficult it is to connect with a real person in the IRS, especially these days, so I set aside a good long time to make the call.
• The automated IRS phone system gave me the same response I had gotten on-line a good many weeks ago — that the system had no knowledge of my refund — which was not good to know.
• Other automated information increased my fear that something bad had happened to my refund.
• I tried navigating the phone system every which way I knew, but still couldn’t get through to a real person with knowledge.
• I googled “how to reach a real person at IRS” which gave me a complicated hack of the phone system including refusing to enter my social security number twice, which was very good to know.
• I stayed on hold for 45 minutes, marveling that so many good people ahead of me had figured out the good-to-know hack of the phone system.
• I finally spoke to a wonderful IRS employee who was home in Texas with her dogs and who was good to know. She told me the good-to-know information that there was a backlog of mailed returns and mine was among them. That was the only reason I had not received my refund, instead of all the bad-to-know fears my mind had manufactured.
• She told me other good-to-know information, including (1) don’t mail in your return again, (2) don’t worry about identity thieves stealing your refund, (3) your husband’s erroneous Social Security information (which necessitated the mailing rather than the e-filing of our joint tax return) has been corrected, and (4) you go, girl, for marrying a good guy 10 years younger than you who cooks!

It’s good to know that bureaucracies can be made up of good-to-know human beings.

Are any of today’s images good to know?

It’s good to know Hanukkah is starting tonight and Michael will be making good potato latkes very soon.

Here are five good-to-know facts about Hanukkah from watchmojo.com:

Many thanks to all my good-to-know readers, including YOU.

Day 2536: Enjoy the ordinary

Yesterday, after publishing Day 2571: What Makes the Ordinary Extraordinary?, I picked this extraordinary mindfulness card at work:

I enjoy the ordinary coincidences and synchronicity of life. Do you?

I hope you enjoy the ordinary in my other photos from yesterday.

 

Enjoy the ordinary signs of the season, the Daily Bitch Calendar, and, if possible, the skill of doing nothing.

Here and now, we’re enjoying the ordinary weather in Boston, which was 58 degrees F yesterday and 31 degrees F and snowing as I write this ordinary post. Enjoy the ordinary repetition of this:

 

Here’s “How to enjoy the mundane or ordinary moments in life!” with Little Woo:

 

How do you enjoy the ordinary?

Enjoy the ordinary ending of another Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally post, where I share my ordinary thanks with YOU.

 

Day 2279: Loud and extra loud

Tonight, I’ll be using a loud and extra loud “egg shaker” for accompaniment when I’m singing three songs at a party of social workers.

Yesterday, in a therapy group, we wondered aloud together about why internal critical voices and anxious thoughts seem extra loud. My loud speculation was that critical voices and anxious thoughts are extra loud to help us survive.  If sounds of danger are more loud to us, we might be able to avoid them better. However, the loudness of negativity can drown out the positive voices within and around us.  That kind of loudness creates extra anxiety, worry, shame, and stress. For a lot of people, coping and healing includes allowing the positive messages to be as loud as the negative ones.

Do you see anything loud and/or extra loud in today’s photos?

 

Sorry about the soft focus in that last photo.  Allow me to pump up the volume for the bumpa sticka on the left:

BAD POLITICIANS ARE ELECTED BY GOOD PEOPLE WHO DON’T VOTE

Here‘s “loud Indian music” with over one million views on YouTube:

Two comments about that video seemed extra loud to me:

¡ʞɔɐq sı dǝǝW
1 month ago
Play this at my funeral

Dee Are
8 months ago
HOW DO YOU SET THIS AS YOUR RING TONE

I look forward to the volume of all the comments, below.

I try to make my gratitude extra loud, so thanks to all who helped me create this loud-and-extra-loud post and — of course! –to YOU.

 

Day 2272: Anger and The Skill of Doing Nothing

Yesterday, in group and individual therapy, several people talked about anger. Those discussions included:

• wishing there were some good role models for dealing with anger,
• acknowledgement that the current U.S. President unprecedentedly expresses anger every day through Twitter or a microphone,
• brainstorming better ways to deal with anger (like walking away, owning the anger, respectfully expressing the anger, or writing angry letters, emails, text, or tweets that one does NOT send),
• recognizing that anger is just another feeling that should not be judged or repressed,
• defining anger as the human response to one’s needs not being met,
• realizing that judging or repressing anger blocks it from being discharged in a healthier way,
• role-playing healthier expressions of anger,
• deciding to deal with the “wish to break something” by going to a dollar store and buying an inexpensive breakable item, and
• considering the skill of doing nothing.

I’m wondering if there will be any anger about the amount and quality of my photos today. If so, please consider expressing that anger in a healthy way.

Harley is contentedly demonstrating the skill of doing nothing.

Here‘s Johnny Duke covering James Taylor’s “Angry Blues:

If I were Johnny Duke, I might be angry about that having only 458 views and nine likes on YouTube. Maybe not, though, because he seems like a very cool cat.

Feel free to express yourself in the comments section, below, or to practice the skill of doing nothing.

I shall now practice the skill of expressing my thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

 

 

Day 2234: Whatever works

It works for me to tell you about a book a patient loaned me at work — CONTEMPORARY PRAYERS TO [whatever works] by conceptual artist Hannah Burr.

 

Every day, I am on the lookout for whatever works and making it fun!

 

 

 

Whatever Michael does to make his meals so delicious, it works!

Whatever song would work for this post?

 

Are you going to leave a comment?  Whatever works for you.

it works for me to express my thanks to all who helped me create this whatever-works post and — of course! — to YOU, for your time, effort, great energy, and whatever!!

 

 

Day 2227: Sux

Lately, I’ve been getting lots of news that sux.   That news has included:

• the premature death of a lovely woman I’ve known for years,
• injustice in the legal system,
• a diagnosis of brain cancer for another beloved friend,
• the appointment of a fossil fuels lobbyist to the U.S. Cabinet as Secretary of the Interior, and
• pretty much all the news in the media, which I’ve been trying to avoid.

When there’s so much news that sux, it helps me to share my feelings and thoughts with others.  Right before I started writing this post, a friend and I wrote “Sux” to each other on Messenger.

It also helps me to take in  and share what’s not sucking around me.

It sux when somebody posts photos in a blog post that are difficult to read.  If you want to suck in more of what’s going on in any of those pictures, please suck it in and click on it.

It sux when there are demons in your life, but there always are, so why not name them, as suggested by that mindfulness card, above?  When I first read the front of that card “Name the demons,” I sucked in my breath as I imagined naming them “Fred,” “Gertrude” or “Charlie.”

It sux that I have to get to work early this morning, so here’s what I can quickly find on YouTube for “Sux.”

 

Here’s what comes up for “Sux Music”:

I notice connections  between those two “sux” videos about what sux.

It never sux to experience and express gratitude for what you do have, so thanks to all who helped me write this “”Sux” post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

Day 2223: Putting yourself out there

Yesterday, when people were putting themselves out there in a group therapy session, I put this out there on a white board in the group room:

What happens when you put yourself out there?  What out there gets in the way of your putting yourself out there more?

Tonight, I’ll be putting myself out there at an Open Mic, as I debut my latest original song, “What are other people thinking about you?” I’ll be putting a keyboard out there on the stage and putting, myself, out another blog post tomorrow with a recording of that performance.

Empathy involves putting ourselves out there into other people’s shoes.  What happens when I put these photos out there?

I’m putting myself out there to share that in yesterday’s therapy group, we talked about shoulds and transforming unhelpful shoulds like “I should exercise more” into “I could exercise more and I choose to do other things to sustain myself until I feel ready to exercise.”

I’m putting “Putting Yourself Out There” from the movie Eighth Grade out here in this post:

I’m putting myself out there to state that Eighth Grade deserved some Oscar nominations, instead of receiving none, which makes me very put out.

Please consider putting yourself out there in a comment, below.

As usual, I’m putting gratitude out there, for all who helped me put out this post and — of course! — YOU, for putting up with me.

Day 2222: Notice connections

Yesterday, in a therapy group where I notice connections among people, I did a mindfulness exercise using these mindfulness cards:

Most of the people in the room took their time noticing the different cards and choosing one they felt a connection with.  The two people who were left-handed (including me) randomly chose a mindfulness card without looking.   I noticed that connection and then  noticed the card I had randomly pulled:

Then, I noticed color connections between that card and my water bottle:

I notice, here and now, that  I’ve used the word “connections” only twice before in a blog title. If you want to make connections with those older blog posts (both written in my first year of making connections on WordPress), you can connect to them here and here.  I also notice that the first blog post that popped up in my “connections” search was Day 1002: What makes anxiety worse?   Because I notice that  connections often reduce anxiety,  I wonder what connections WordPress noticed there.

I  notice connections between the word “older” (which you may notice I used in my previous paragraph) and negative judgments.  I’m especially noticing that connection two days before I turn 66.

I also notice connections between my reading the news and my anxiety getting worse, so I am careful to notice  news items that help restore and reconnect  my faith in humankind, including this one:

Quincy Police rescue tiny owl from roadside

QUINCY — It appears as if Quincy Police has its very own Dr. Dolittle.

Officer Tim Kaes helped a rescue a small saw-whet owl Tuesday night on Victory Road just before 7 p.m. This is the third owl that Kaes has helped rescue.

A person found the injured owl and flagged down a police cruiser, according to Quincy Police Sgt. Karyn Barkas. With animal control off for the night, the officer called in Kaes who Barkas said loves animals.

The owl was brought to the New England Wildlife Center in Weymouth for treatment.

New England Wildlife Center Executive Director Katrina Bergman said that Kaes had just brought in an injured hawk last week that was trapped in the Quincy Center MBTA station. She called Kaes the “slighted animal hero of the South Shore.”

Bergman said the saw-whet appeared to have been hit by a car and has a severe concussion. The small owl, common to the area, was in a bird head trauma protocol, similar to one for humans. If the animal survives its injuries it will be released back into the wild.

The Audobon Society says the bird gets its name from the call it makes, which is supposed to sound like a saw being sharpened against a whetstone. The bird is one of the smallest owl species.

I notice connections with people like Quincy officer Tim Kaes and phrases like “the slighted animal hero of the South Shore.”  I notice connections between expressed appreciation and being less slighted, so I hope Tim Kaes notices and connects to that news article.

Do you notice connections in any of my other recent photos?

I notice connections between being near the water and feeling better.

I notice many connections in the song “Connections” by OneRepublic (who notice connections between their music and the Beatles, U2, M83, and Prince).

I notice connections between gratitude and positive growth, so thanks to those who helped me notice the connections in this post and — of course! — to YOU, for all the connections you notice.

Day 2221: Dirty looks

The other day, I thought somebody gave me a dirty look.  When I perceive somebody giving me a dirty look, I can feel dirty.  That’s why I wrote these lyrics for my latest original song, What are Other People Thinking About You?

Was that person’s dirty look about you?

Was that person annoyed by something you did?

Could it be he’s thinking instead of his family,

Like his most distressing and stressing kid?

© Ann Koplow, 2019

I hope that I don’t get a lot of dirty looks from the audience when I debut that song in two days at an Open Mic.

Do you see any dirty looks in my photos from yesterday?

Do you see any dirty looks in these other recent photos?

While dirty looks can feel like laser beams, we can protect ourselves with mindfulness mantras like “It’s safer than it feels” and playfulness, as explained on this mindfulness card:

 

I playfully gave a look at this sign  on my way home from work last night:

I looked for the 1965 UK TV debut of the Who on YouTube. I couldn’t find it, but look at what is there!

 

Look at this Peter Gabriel song with the lyric “if looks could kill they probably will.”

What are your thoughts about dirty looks and the other looks in this pos?  I will give a non-dirty look at all your comments, later.

I look at the world with gratitude, every day, so thanks to all who helped me create this “dirty looks” post and — of course! — to YOU, for looking at it.

Day 2220: Heartbreak to Happiness

Yesterday, I went from heartbreak (about my wonderful, trusted, and long-time cardiologist Dr. Mark Estes leaving Boston) to happiness about the kindness, caring, commitment, and competency of my new cardiologist, Dr. Munther Homoud.

While I was waiting to see Dr. Homoud for the first time, I noticed all this:

 

 

 

I’ve gone from heartbreak to happiness about my unusual congenital heart disorder many, many times during my almost sixty-six years on this planet.   At this point, after a miraculous and happy time when my heart reverted to a normal rhythm after my valve replacement surgery in 2016, my heart is back in atrial fibrillation for the rest of my life.  I have no heartbreak about that, only happiness because of my caring and committed team of cardiologists.

Do you see any paths from heartbreak to happiness in my other photos from yesterday?

 

 

My boyfriend Michael (who makes my heart happy  with his nutritious, delicious, low-salt home-cooked meals) helps me go from heartbreak to happiness, every day.  Last night, after a  typical heartbreak-to-happiness-to-heartbreak-to-happiness day, we danced to this:

What helps you go from heartbreak to happiness? For me, gratitude always helps.