Day 2930: Home is

Home is

• where the heart is.
• where I hang my masks.
• where I don’t have to wear a mask.
• where I’m writing this blog post.
• where I have all my feelings.
• where I try to let go of fear, worry, anxiety, and despair.
• a comfort to me.
• where I feel safe.
• where I am doing my remote Coping and Healing groups.
• where I gather my strength.
• where I live with my husband Michael and our cat Harley.
• like the best restaurant ever because Michael is such a great cook.
• where I took these photos:

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Home is different things to different people.

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“Home is” by Jacob Collier is what I was listening to yesterday when I took those photos of homes.

Home is where I’ll be awaiting any comments on today’s post.

Home is where I am grateful, here and now, for all who help me feel like I’m always at home, including YOU.

Day 2923: Past, present, and future

In my Coping and Healing groups in the past, present, and future, I have written, I write, and I shall write the important themes on the “Board of Importance.”

I tell my group members that when I write the words “past,” “present,” and “future” on the board I can relax, because I know I’ve captured everything.

At the turn of the year, people seem to think even more about the past, present, and future. Can you see the past, present, and future in the images I captured in the recent past, am sharing with you in the present, and will remember in the future?

There’s the past, present, and future, in one saying: “There is nothing like you, there was nothing like you, and there shall be nothing like you.”.

Now I can relax, because I know I’ve captured everything.

Here‘s a blast from the past: “Past, Present and Future” from The Shangri-Las.

Creating this post is now in the past, I am very grateful in the present, and I look forward to your comments in the future.

Day 2897: Sights we hate

Yesterday, I posted Day 2896: Sounds we hate, so it’s time to turn our sights to sights we hate.

These days, I hate the sight of

• injustice,
• denial,
• people not wearing masks,
• people wearing masks BELOW THEIR NOSES,
• large gatherings,
• mass hysteria,
• ignorance,
• criminals,
• enablers,
• cruelty,
• deception,
• poverty,
• greed,
• the destruction of our environment,
• wasteful paper mail, and
• hatred.

Are there any sights we hate in these recent sights I saw?

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Rather than focus more on sights we hate, here are “Satisfying Sights That Will Help You Relax” from ZORRO.

Sights I love include comments from you, so please leave one, below.

Ready for the sight of gratitude from me?

Day 2770: What’s the greatest mistake you ever made?

It’s difficult for me to to come up with an answer to “What’s the greatest mistake you ever made?”

Make no mistake; I’ve made many mistakes in my long life. It’s just difficult to choose the greatest.

Perhaps the greatest mistake I’ve ever made is

• reluctance to act for fear of making a mistake,
• expecting perfection from myself or others, or
• not forgiving myself for my mistakes.

If I had listened to people telling me that 45 was too old for me to have my first child, that would have been my greatest mistake.

 

That’s my son, Aaron, wearing a mask unmistakably designed by artist and fellow blogger, Judy Berman.  These days, people’s greatest mistake might be not wearing a mask. For some, it’s the last mistake they’ve made.

It would be a great mistake not to include today’s Daily Bitch Calendar.

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Are there any mistakes in my other photos from yesterday?

White supremacy might be the greatest mistake this world has ever made.

Here‘s “Everybody Makes a Mistake” by Otis Redding.

My greatest gratitude to those who help me create this blog, mistakes and all, every day.

 

 

Day 2754: Reasons you should speak up

Are you ever in situations where you don’t speak up, and you’re not sure why you are silencing yourself?

I’ve noticed this in myself and in others. And this tendency to not speak up is especially critical these days, when silence can equal violence.

Besides that article about speaking up against racism (linked to in the previous paragraph), I’m also looking at a helpful article by Kevin Daum that discusses 5 Reasons You Should Speak Up (Even When You Think You Shouldn’t).  For me, the highlights of that article are that

• Silence is deemed approval and is not an effective way to avoid conflict.
• Many stay silent because they don’t want to do any harm by criticizing or offending someone.
• It’s important to show your commitment to the process by being vocal.
• Honesty builds trust, especially when combined with tact and empathy.
• What’s obvious to you might not be obvious to others.
• You may not be alone in your thinking.

Are there other reasons to speak up? What might get in the way of you speaking up about that, here?

For me, what gets in the way of speaking up includes:

• fear of doing harm,
• fear of being misunderstood,
• fear of feeling alone,
• fear of being attacked for my opinion,
• fear of exposing myself or others,
• fears that are difficult to describe but which have lived in my heart for a long time,
• wanting to maintain harmony whenever possible,
• internalized sexism,
• internalized ageism,
• the saying “silence is golden,”
• not being sure, in the moment, of what I want to say,
• wishing to hear all sides before I decide what I want to say,
• denial about what is going on (if the situation feels uncomfortable),
• believing that the time  to speak up has passed,
• distraction,
• exhaustion,
• mind-reading, catastrophizing, and other cognitive distortions.

However, when I don’t speak up, I usually regret it. It’s helpful for me to

• remember that I CAN  speak up next time and
• forgive myself for my past silences, because guilt and shame are silencers.

Are there reasons to speak up about my pictures from yesterday?

 

Please don’t be afraid of those right and wrong buzzers and speak up in a comment, below.

I also want to speak up about my friend Megan …

… who gives me the courage to speak up. Yesterday, we spoke up to each other about the pandemic, racism, privilege, our work as therapists, the death of a shared patient from COVID-19,  difficult people, uncertainty, masks, politics, hopes, our children, the past, the present, the future, and our long-time friendship.

Here‘s “Speak Up, Speak Out” from Melinda Carroll:

 

Nothing gets in the way of my speaking up  about my gratitude to all who help me create these posts and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

 

Day 2700: Annoying

Is it annoying that

• you can’t spell “Annoying” without “Ann”?
• Ann likes to share the Daily Bitch Calendar?

• it’s going to get worse before it gets really worse before it gets better?
• there are so many conflicting messages and predictions out there?
• there’s so much litter out there?

• some people wear masks and others don’t?

• I left the house before I felt ready?
• I’m often pushing my original t-shirts and my original songs?
• it can be difficult to see what’s really going on?

• social distancing is so much easier some places than others?

• hope can be hard to find?

• good hearts can be hard to find?

• dogs and cats live such short lives compared to people?

• I get to enjoy Michael’s meals and you don’t?

• I sometimes put people in my blog without asking their permission (like Michael)?

However, I DID ask the wonderful Maddie Freeman’s permission if I could put this amazing performance of “Dusty Trails” in my blog, which features Maddie and Rohini Rege on vocals, Caroline Rosa on vocals and guitar, and Leslie Wolf and Maddie’s fiancé Michael Friedman on strings.

Is it annoying that I’m linking here to the other blog post where Maddie makes an appearance?

What IS annoying to you?

If you find gratitude annoying, get ready to be annoyed.

 

Day 2698: What’s eating you?

One thousand, six hundred and four days ago (I‘M counting, okay?), I created the post Day 1094: What are you eating/What’s eating you.

Is it eating you that

• I like to start posts by referring to my previous posts?
• Your weight has changed during the pandemic because of what you’re eating?
• People aren’t wearing masks?
• Bicyclists behind you are still yelling “BEHIND YOU!” even though that might spread the coronavirus?
• The wrong people are constantly apologizing?
• There is such disparity in who is suffering more from the pandemic?
• It’s difficult to know who to believe these days?
• There’s so much uncertainty about the future?
• Pets have such short life spans?
• People don’t seem to know what a span of six feet is?
• So many people support corrupt and incompetent leaders?
• So many familiar things are disappearing?
• The good is often hidden from view?
• I take and share so many photos?

Here‘s “What’s Eating You?” from the BBC production of The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy:

What’s eating you? Please share in a comment, below.

Whatever’s eating me, a little gratitude helps me face the day ahead.

Day 2138: Masks

Over two years ago, when I was in the hospital dealing with pneumonia and heart failure, I wrote a blog post titled “Masks“.

Yesterday, in a therapy group, people talked about the relationships between the masks they wear on the outside and how they feel inside.  I keep the identify of my group members masked because of confidentiality; therefore I only show what I create in group, including this mask:

Do you see masks in my other photos from yesterday?

 

Here’s “Behind the Mask” by Michael Jackson:

Here’s the “Cuban Pete” song from The Mask:

I never mask my gratitude for those who help me create these blog posts and — of course! — YOU!