Posts Tagged With: making lists

Day 2240: What you’re not good at

Even good people seem to focus on what they’re not good at. I’m not sure if that’s good or not.

I’m not good at

  • getting enough sleep,
  • asking for help,
  • saying “no,”
  • remembering details,
  • making a fuss,
  • taking up space,
  • goodbyes, and
  • keeping to myself what I’m not good at.

Do you have a list of what you’re not good at?  If you do, does that do you any good?

If you make lists of what you’re not good at, try to get that list out of your head and down on paper (or a screen) so you can consider challenging the items on the list. For example, when I made that list above, I thought better of adding “planning parties,” even though

  • I’m anxious about planning a party right now,
  • it’s that anxiety which is inspiring this post, and
  • I often say, “I’m not good at planning parties.”

The reason I didn’t add “planning parties” to the list was that when I thought it through, I realized that I don’t have a lot of practice planning parties and also every party I’ve ever planned has turned out fine.   Therefore, it doesn’t belong on the list of “What I’m Not Good At.”  It does belong on the list of “What Makes Me Anxious.”

Also, it’s good to balance out any list of what you’re not good at with a list of what you ARE good at.

I’m good at taking photos to distract myself during stressful times,  like traveling and goodbyes.

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I’m not good at dealing with the cold, and I took that last shot as I was waiting, alone, for my luggage back in Boston. After I had said “Goodbye” (which I’m not good at)  to my ex-in-laws and my son (who remained in Orlando for a little more warmth), I texted them “I miss everyone already!” and my good ex-sister-in-law Deborah sent me this:

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It’ll be good to see my son Aaron again when he returns home from University of Edinburgh in May.

I’m not good at keeping things to myself, so here‘s Disney World’s “It’s Tough to Be a Bug” (which I saw yesterday).  If you’re not good at tolerating bugs, people screaming, or 3-D without glasses, you may not want to watch it.

Let’s assume that you’re good at making comments and that I’m good at responding back to them.

I’m also good at expressing thanks at the end of each blog post to all who help me create them and — of course! — to YOU.

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Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, travel | Tags: , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Day 1493: Lists

Yesterday, I made several lists, including:

  1. a list of questions to ask my cardiologist, Dr. Deeb Salem, at our appointment today,
  2. a list of the roles I occupy in my life, because we were discussing roles in my therapy group yesterday, and
  3. a list of the things that make me feel bad, because I was feeling bad last night.

Well, at least I wasn’t listless.

Do you make lists?  What kinds of lists do you make?

On my list of “How to Create a Daily Blog Post” is sharing my latest photos.

 

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On my list of favorite classical composers is Franz Liszt.  Did you know his last name is pronounced “List”?  My son, who is always on my gratitude list, likes to play this Liszt composition on the piano:

When I was my son’s age, that was on my playlist, too.

On my gratitude list this morning are my son Aaron, my boyfriend Michael (for the delicious bluefish last night and so much more), Dr. Salem, Franz Liszt, Valentina Lisitsa, people who heal in groups, orchids, lists that help me move on, and — of course! — YOU.

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

Day 946: Putting worries to bed

It would be very easy to list all the things I could be worrying about right now, including:

  1. Flying, next Tuesday, to Edinburgh,
  2. Whether I’ve chosen the “correct” new car,
  3. A presentation about my therapy groups I’m giving next Monday,
  4. My son, who is 17 and appearing this weekend in a production of Green Day’s “American Idiot” (although he’s no American idiot),
  5. 17 year olds, everywhere,
  6. One of our cats, who peed out of the box (and who shall remain nameless, because we don’t know which one it is),
  7. My heart (which is very unusual),
  8. My head (which is very unusual),
  9. My sleep (which is insufficient) (which is not unusual, at least here in the USA),
  10. Any physical and emotional pain, in my vicinity,
  11. All the things that need to get done for my 45th High School reunion,
  12. All the things that need to get done everywhere else,
  13. Various items of varying necessity I variously have trouble locating,
  14. How well I’ll be able to write and post pictures on WordPress while my son, my excellente ex-sister-in-law, and I are in Edinburgh,
  15. How much I can really do for my clients who deal with so much adversity and injustice,
  16. All the wonderful blogs I have so little time to visit or comment on,
  17. People I may have misunderstood or offended, and
  18. All the awful things in the world the media is reporting on, while I’m writing this.

To repeat, it would be very easy to list things I could be worrying about right now. And easy it was — it took me less than three shakes of a cat’s tail

to create that list.

But rather than focus on any list of worries, I am going to concentrate on putting worries to bed.

Yes, I am going to tuck those worries into bed next to a slowly tail-shaking cat, and wish them sweet dreams.

Let’s see if I have any images on my iPhone to amuse or soothe those worries, as they fall into slumber.


 

  


Which  pictures do you think might help put worries to bed?

Personally, I’m going to (1) pick the Yardbunny and (2) imagine writing the following on a blank yellow sticky note or on a blank sign in somebody’s yard:

Go to bed, worries!

Finally, here‘s a tune sung by some non- Yardbirds to turn, turn, turn  worries toward sleep:

Worry-free thanks to the list of things that helped me create this post (and fall back asleep last night) and to you — of course! — for bringing your worried or unworried self here, today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , | 50 Comments

Day 659: Undone

Why do people (including me) focus on what’s undone, rather than noticing what IS done?

Do you focus on what you’ve left undone, rather than giving yourself credit for what you’ve done? Think about this: every time you make a choice to do something, the things you are NOT doing instead are …..

 

 

 

 

 

infinite.

Infinite things can be very overwhelming and can make people feel undone, don’t you think?  For example, I had a discussion yesterday, at work, with my friend Jan, about Infinity Scarves:

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(I’m done, here, including the link for that photo) (in the past, I’ve come undone about giving credit correctly)

Neither Jan, another great nurse named Arvetta,* nor I want anything to do with those infinity scarves, which look like they’re infinitely difficult to do and undo.

Besides agreeing with Jan and Arvetta about infinty scarves (and other things), here’s something else I did at work yesterday — individual therapy with several people. Every person I saw was painfully aware of what he or she was NOT doing. As a result of those kinds of self-judgmental thoughts, all these people seemed somewhat undone — that is, overwhelmed, lost, depressed, and anxious. When I invited them to look at what they have been doing — and to be more generous, kind and forgiving with themselves —  they all seemed to feel better by the time they were done talking to me.

It is always a privilege, for me, to witness people doing their best to undo old habits of negative self-judgment.

Here’s something else helpful to do:  make lists of what you HAVE done.

For example, yesterday, I

  • worked,
  • played,
  • listened to music,
  • walked,
  • ate,
  • drank water,
  • breathed,
  • read and answered emails,
  • talked to several people, including family members,
  • took my pill, and
  • slept.

I could make a list of what I left undone, yesterday … but I think I’ll leave that infinite undone list alone and undone, for now.

Phew!  That’s a relief.

Sometimes, when we undo old habits and try new ones, we encounter unexpected surprises, challenges, and obstacles.

I just encountered an unexpected surprise, challenge and obstacle, when I searched for the song “Undone” on YouTube.

I was momentarily undone, when I discovered that great blast from the past is really spelled …

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Undun.” (I wonder if using spaces like that — for emphasis and suspense — which has already been done in this blog post, is effective. No matter what,  I’m not going to undo them.)

Yes, I am a little undone that “Undun” — which, since 1969, I thought was spelled “Undone” — is spelled that way.

What** in this wide dun-green-and-blue-world does “undun”even mean? Is it the opposite of dun?

Here’s what I should probably do next, in this post:  include a definition of dun. Definitions have definitely been done before, in The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally (like, two days ago).

However, I don’t want to include any on-line definitions in this post today.  Been there, done that.  (And as I’ve done before in this blog, I want to remind you that being aware of what you want, and expressing that, helps you avoid becoming undone.)

But before this post is done, I want to give you some idea about what “dun” means. Here’s something I haven’t done yet: checked recent pictures on my iPhone, to see if any of them include the color dun. If they do, I can also be done with the photographic portion of my daily post.

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Yay!

That meal  — with some colors close to dun — was done by Michael, last night, for me and my son Aaron. When I was done, all those colors were wiped clean from that plate.

Is my defining dun done?

If so, that still leaves this task undone: deciding whether to undo what I’ve done in this post so far — in any way — or somehow proceed from here, writing about “undun and/or “undone.”

Honestly, I don’t think I should write a post about “Undun.” Writing about the opposite of a color is just not done.

Should I undo my intention of using the song “Undun” and see if there’s a song somebody else has done, titled “Undone”?

I don’t want to do that, either.

Will I do any harm, if I publish this post with a title “Undone” and a song “Undun”? That often undoes me: worrying that I’ve done something wrong, in any way.

I am not rewriting this post.What’s done is done and (I hope) no harm done.   Here‘s the song:

Done!

Now, guess who*** sang that song!

Is anything left undone, for you, in this post? Also, what tends to make you feel undone? Will you respond to my questions today or leave that undone? And if you leave that undone, will this post help you leave all self-judgment and shame undone?

Here’s what’s left undone for me: I wish to name that I’ve linked to many previous posts today.  Why?  Because I’m proud of what I’ve done!

All doing and undoings here are now done. Many thanks to everybody, everywhere, who does and doesn’t do, including you.


*  When I went to my work email, just now, to double-check the spelling of “Arvetta,”  I received this message TWICE:

Your password will expire in 6 days!

Something else I haven’t done.

** Would anybody like to guess how many times I’ve used the word “What” in the titles of my posts? Right now, to me, it looks like an infinite number.

*** Is knowing who wrote and sang “Undun” done for you? If so, are you undone by puns?

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , | 21 Comments

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