Day 3014: Should we be concerned?

When I read the news and witness people sharing loss, grief, and trauma in therapy, I often wonder “Should we be concerned?”

Should we be concerned that it’s difficult to know what we should be concerned about?

Should we be concerned about things we can control and/or things we cannot control? Should we be concerned that it’s difficult to know what we can control and what we can’t?

Should we be concerned that so many awful things — including racism, sexism, ageism, misogyny, classism, homophobia, transphobia, sizeism, denial, hypocrisy, greed, and shortsightedness — are in our system?

Should we be concerned about my images for today?

Should we be concerned about the Daily Bitch?

Should we be concerned that when I search YouTube for “should we be concerned” I see many concerning things ?

Here‘s “I’m Concerned” by the Pistoleros, with the late Arizona, USA, music legend Lawrence Zubia.

I’m concerned about what you’re concerned about.

Many thanks to all who help me share my concerns every day, including YOU.

Day 2768: On my mind

On my mind today are

• the upcoming U.S. Presidential election,
• long-standing injustices against people of color,
• the number of deaths from the coronavirus pandemic,
• other mind-boggling events,
• the quote “Hell is truth seen too late,”
• bullies,
• kind people,
• the healing power of groups,
• the healing power of art,
• the healing power of nature,
• mindfulness,
• care for others,
• self care, and
• my wonderful cousin Lani, who sent me beautiful condolences about the loss of our fabulous kitty Oscar.

What’s on your mind when you look at all the images I captured yesterday?

It’s on my mind to remind you to click on any of those images if you wish to enlarge them.

These mindful and beautiful performances were on my mind when I woke up this morning (here and here on YouTube):

 

As always, gratitude is on my mind, so thanks to Lani, Take 6, Donald Fagen, tigers everywhere, everyone who is coping and/or healing, and (of course!) YOU.

Day 2766: I haven’t been this depressed since …

How would you complete today’s blog post title?

I haven’t been this depressed since …

• the passing of  another soul very precious to me (other passing souls described here, here, here, here, and here),
• I last looked at the news about the coronavirus pandemic,
• the most recent killing of an unarmed black man,
• somebody told me a horrific story about being abused as a child,
• somebody said they intended to hurt me,
• the latest mass shooting in the U.S.,
• my friend Megan had to stop working with me because her family moved too far away,
• the 2016 U.S. Presidential election, and
• I found out I had to have open heart surgery in 2016.

Here’s how The Daily Bitch completes that sentence …

… which also works for me.

I haven’t taken many photos since my last blog post, perhaps because I’m depressed about the passing of our fabulous cat, Oscar.

 

Harley doesn’t seem depressed, but who knows?

Here‘s what comes up on YouTube when I search for “I haven’t been this depressed since”.

 

I haven’t been this grateful since yesterday.

 

Day 2762: The principal ingredient

Because grief for the loss of our principal cat Oscar is a principal ingredient in my life right now, I have only a few new photos to share today.

 

Since I caught the coronavirus at a group therapy conference in NYC the first week in March, my husband Michael and I have not been able to find my keys.  Apparently, my keys are not a principal ingredient, because I haven’t needed them.

For me, principal ingredients include

• love,
• cats,
• curiosity,
• kind humans,
• group work,
• good food,
• hope,
• humor,
• nature,
• acceptance,
• awareness of the current moment.
• art, and
• music.

Here‘s “Principal Orchestra Virtual Project” with the Norwalk Youth Symphony:

 

Other principal ingredients are courage, honesty, dignity, decency, and respect, so here‘s Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez‘s recent speech on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives:

 

Principal ingredients of this blog are your comments and my gratitude.

Day 2701: Alone in the presence of others

Seven years ago (but who’s counting?), I created and published my other lone daily blog post with the title “Alone in the presence of others.”

In the presence of others, here and now, I notice that earlier blog post

• focuses on group therapy,
• has no photos, and
• has no comments.

Since then, I’ve made a t-shirt that says,”Alone in the presence of others,” which seems even more relevant during these pandemic days.

We are always in the presence of others, even when we feel alone. There’s a beautiful group intervention about that in the incredible new series GROUP on YouTube. GROUP  features scripted characters, improvised interactions, and the renowned group therapist Elliot Ziesel, PhD as Dr. Ezra, the group leader. At the end of the first episode (at 14:31), there’s this exchange:

Karina: But the thing about unconditional love is that you can lose it.

Dr. Ezra: Unconditional love?

Karina:  Yes.

Dr. Ezra: How can you lose that?

Karina: My mother died.

Karina: You don’t continue to talk to her? She doesn’t continue to live inside you somewhere?

Karina: She does.

Dr. Ezra: She’s gone, but she’s not dead.

Yesterday, when I was alone in the presence of others, I …

• watched several episodes of GROUP,
• thought about my late mother and my late father,
• communicated with my lone child, Aaron, who is in the presence of others 3,068 miles away in Edinburgh, Scotland (but who’s counting?),
• told Aaron about GROUP, and
• took all these photos:

That delicious toasted quinoa was alone in the presence of others on my dinner plate last night, thanks to the presence of my dear husband Michael.

Would you like to be alone in the presence of others in the comments section, below?

Today’s expression of gratitude is alone in the presence of others.

 

 

Day 2531: Feelings

Yesterday in a therapy group, people felt comfortable and brave enough to talk about and show their feelings, including sadness, joy, anger, and fear.

Another group therapist recently told me that a member of his group said, “In group, joy is doubled and fear is halved.”

I have many good feelings about being a group therapist.

Are there any  feelings  in and about my other photos from yesterday?

 

Spotify tells me that I listened to “Hajanga” by Jacob Collier more than any other song in 2019.  That’s because

• no matter what my feelings were in 2019, Hajanga always helped me feel better and
• I listened to it over and over again when I was driving to and from Westport, Massachusetts for the wake of my dear friend Tony.

Here‘s a live 2019 version of Jacob playing “Hajanga” at MIT:

 

Of course, I’m wondering about your feelings now.

As always, I’m feeling gratitude for all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

 

 

 

Day 2439: Dealing with change

As I’m dealing with change, the morning after the funeral of my good friend Hillel, I’m dealing with searching all my 2,438  previous blog posts for “dealing with change.” The top result of that “dealing with change” search is Day 1888: Well … THEY WERE WRONG which, among other things, deals with climate change.  Climate change is something that a lot of people are dealing with, here and now.

I’m also focusing on “dealing with change” today because next week I’ll be conducting a version of my Coping and Healing groups for staff at the major Boston hospital where I work.  That’s a change for me and I’m going to focus the group topic on dealing with change, since we’re all dealing with so much change, especially in the health care industry.

One way I deal with change is to blog here daily and to share my photos from the day before.  Today’s photos feature

• Julie, the lovely woman from my high school who helped me deal with Hillel’s death by inviting me to stay at her place Tuesday night and go to Hillel’s funeral together,
• Julie’s pets, including two cats and a dog,
• Julie’s beautiful home, inside and out,
• the cemetery where Hillel was buried yesterday, and
• the delicious meal Michael served me when I finally got home last night.

If you want to change the size of any of those photos, just click to enlarge.

Music also helps me deal with change. Here‘s “A Change is Gonna Come” written and sung by Sam Cooke.

What are your thoughts and feelings about dealing with change?

No matter what change I’m dealing with, I’m grateful I’m alive another day to deal with the changes around and within me.

Day 2438: All you need

All you need is …

… love.

All I need is

• love,
• kindness,
• shelter,
• peace,
• the healing power of groups, and
• the chance to pay my respects today to my late friend Hillel and to his family and friends.

All I need is my iPhone to take photos and to post this blog a few hours before my wonderful hostess Julie and I leave to drive to Hillel’s funeral in NYC.

All I need is that Connecticut Cat Nellie and a FaceTime call with Harley to help prepare me for the funeral today.

What’s all you need?

Is this music all you need?

All the love and thanks you need coming at you, here and now, from your grateful blogger.

Day 2437: Today it’s all about ______

Today it’s all about

• work,
• traveling to attend the funeral of my friend, Hillel, tomorrow,
• love,
• appreciation,
• sorrow,
• memories,
• being in the moment,
• hope for the future,
• me, and
• you.

Today it’s all about the photos I took yesterday to self soothe in the midst of loss.

Today it’s all about missing the cats and Michael but it’s also about appreciating the lovely woman from my high school who is welcoming me into her home this evening so we can drive together to Hillel’s funeral tomorrow.

Today it’s all about gratitude.

Day 2182: What you have survived

Take a breath, in this present moment, and consider what you have survived.

How does that affect you?

When I look at what I have survived, I feel braver and more hopeful about what I’m facing now.

I have survived

• many holidays over my almost-66 years,
• two thousand, two hundred, and eighteen days of blogging,
• a congenital heart condition,
• many surgeries,
• sexism,
• anti-Semitism,
• the death of both my parents,
• other departures,
• fear,
• misunderstandings,
• miscommunications,
• personal comments (including being called “incapable“),
• silence,
• anger,
• rivalries,
• the dark,
• the cold,
• feeling lost,
• incompetent leaders, and
• lots of  crap.

What have you survived?

I assume we’ll all survive my recent photos.

Here‘s a reggae version of “I Will Survive.”

What helps me survive?  Gratitude, all those who help me create these daily blogs, and — of course! — YOU.