Posts Tagged With: letting go of resentment

Day 2364: Where would you go in a time machine?

Yesterday, before I met my dear friend Megan and her wonderful daughter Kathryn for lunch and a stroll at a nearby beach, I was reading many of my past blog posts (including ones with Megan here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here,  here and here).

Whenever I read my past blog posts, it’s like traveling in a time machine.  For example, when I was reading all those posts about Megan, I definitely traveled through time …. all the way back to 2013, my first year of blogging, and beyond!

This week, I’ve spent some time traveling in the time machine of memory to my May vacation week of exactly one year ago, during which somebody made me lunch and then travelled in a time machine to recount years of resentments.  Personally, when I travel in my time machine, I prefer to visit moments of love, not  times of resentment (even though my time machine goes everywhere, to moments of pleasure and pain).

My time with Megan and her daughter, yesterday, was truly a reparative experience, which I hope you can see, as you take the time to travel through my latest photos:

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Throughout time, I’ve been sending photos of pugs to my friend Jenn, because she loves them.  Yesterday, I sent Jenn that photo of Megan’s neighbor’s dog, Ruby.

If you had a time machine, where would you go?  One place I would (and do) revisit is the first time I heard Pat Metheny play, at the Paradise Theater in Boston in 1979.  On that day, I heard and saw Pat and his group play music from the album American Garage and I was never the same again.  Here and now, I’m traveling in my  personal time machine to the FUTURE — next week, when I’ll be seeing Pat live, again, playing solo guitar.

YouTube is a kind of time machine, too, allowing me to travel back to 1979,  the year of American Garage (and, coincidentally, the year that Megan was born!)

Here’s a comment about that video of the Pat Metheny Group circa 1979, in which nctomatoman is time traveling:

nctomatoman
1 year ago
My first Pat Metheny concert was in 1980 at the chapel on the UVermont campus in Burlington. He played this, Unity Village, Phase Dance, San Lorenzo – and an early version of As Fall Witchita, among other songs. Breathtaking – changed my musical life for good and I’ve seen Pat nearly 20 times in concert – Waltham, Philadelphia, Seattle, Raleigh….The Way Up, to me, is the peak of his art. I so hope that the PMG reunites, though the Unity Group is wonderful as well.

The last line of that comment and the word “wonderful” takes me back to yesterday, when I took this photo …

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…. assuming, at the time, that the title for today’s blog post would be “Wonderful.”

So, my wonderful readers, where would you go in a time machine?

Now I’m going to travel through time to recall years of gratitude, here at the Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally, for all those who help me create these daily posts and — of course! — for YOU.

 

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Categories: friendship, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Day 2254: What’s not inside

What’s not inside our home is this sign, which I saw inside a supermarket last night:

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Have you seen what’s not inside?  How we can we something that’s not there?

What’s not inside my heart and mind, here and now, seen or unseen, includes

  • hate,
  • resentment,
  • fear about the future,
  • regret about the past,
  • expectations about my birthday on Groundhog Day,
  • concern about what other people are thinking about me,  and
  • all the words I wrote, earlier this month, for my latest original song, which I’ll be debuting at an Open Mic in five days.

What IS inside this post are the lyrics for that song, because typing them here might help place them more firmly inside my mind.

What are Other People Thinking About You?

by Ann Koplow

What are other people thinking about you?

Is it something good or something bad?

Who’s to say if you’re somebody they’ve noticed

And what they would be thinking if they had.

Was the person’s dirty look about you?

Was that guy annoyed by something you did?

Could it be he’s thinking instead of his family

Like his most distressing and stressing kid.

People’s thoughts go everywhere,

Of you they’re often not aware,

And even if their thoughts end up on you,

Thoughts can’t hurt you anyway,

Their thoughts will move and go away

Unless you let them stick to you like glue.

What are other people thinking about you?

I think we spend too much time thinking that.

Other people’s thoughts can’t really touch us,

Even judgments, like we’re stupid, old, or fat.

People’s thoughts go everywhere,

Of you they’re often not aware

And even if their thoughts end up on you,

Thoughts can’t hurt you anyway,

Those thoughts will change and go away,

Unless you let them stick to you like glue.

What are other people thinking about you?

Face it, you will never know for sure,

Then why not think they’re thinking that you’re gorgeous,

Talented and smart and secure.

© Ann Koplow, 2019

What’s not inside this post is the second ending to that song, which I wrote in response to what my son, Aaron, was thinking about those lyrics.

What is inside this post, as usual, are my recent and previously unshared photos.

 

What’s not inside that photo montage is a picture of my son’s keyboard, which I plan to put inside my car on Friday and bring with me to the Open Mic.

What’s not inside YouTube are  videos about what’s not inside things. Instead, searching on “What’s not Inside” at YouTube yields videos about what IS inside all the following:

What’s not inside this post, so far, is music. Here is “The Calm Inside the Storm” by Cindi Lauper:

What’s not inside this blog, yet, are comments on this post.

What’s always inside my posts are thanks to all who help me create them and — of course! — to YOU.

 

 

Categories: original song, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 16 Comments

Day 1978: Resentment

I hope there’s no resentment about today’s topic, which is discussed by Robert Enright, Ph.D. in a Psychology Today online article “Why Resentment Lasts — and How to Defeat it.”

I hope there’s no resentment about my choosing these particular quotes over others from that article:

To psychologists, resentment over a long period of time can be an unhealthy response to injustice.

This kind of resentment can lead to unhappiness, continual irritability, and psychological compromise including excessive anxiety and depression.

I know of one person who, upon having his morning cup of coffee, would replay the injustice and feel the inner strength as a way of getting ready for the day. He did this until he realized that over the long-term, such a routine was leaving him drained before he even left for work

How do I turn off the resentment?  What path do I take to have some inner quiet?  Taking up jogging might do it……but once you have recovered your energy from the run, the anger returns.  How about relaxation training?  Same issue: once the muscle relaxation is over, there is the resentment with its perverse smile looking back at you.  “I just don’t know how to rid myself of the resentment!” is a cry I hear too often.

Try to see the inner world of the one causing the disturbance.

Commit to doing no harm to the one who is harming you.

Stand in the pain so that you do not pass that pain to innocent others.

To forgive is a way of offering goodness to the one who gave you the unwanted present of resentment.

Which is the better identity: a life lived with an unwanted inner guest or a life free to be a conduit of good toward others and yourself?

Is there any resentment about these photos?

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What is your personal experience of resentment?  What makes resentment more difficult for you? What helps you deal with resentment?

There will be no resentment about any comments you send my way.

Here‘s “Resentment” by Beyonce.

Another great antidote for resentment is gratitude.  Thanks to all who helped me create this “resentment” post and — of course! — to YOU.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

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