I’ve decided that turning 70 years old is a defining moment for me. From now on, I will:
Do you see defining moments in my images for today?
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Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “defining moments.”
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Thanks to all who help me create and recognize defining moments, including YOU!
Because I’m obsessed with interesting numbers, I’m noticing that this is the 3333rd day I’ve been blogging.
Because I’m obsessed with the healing power of groups, I’m working on a presentation about group work for my co-workers at a Boston teaching hospital.
Because I’m obsessed with communicating clearly and effectively, I’m driving myself a little crazy as I’m preparing this. At this point, I’m obsessed with this thought: “I wish I had said NO when they asked me to do the presentation!”
Because I’m obsessed with interesting quotes, here are some quotes about obsession.
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Do you see obsessions in my other images for today?
None of my obsessions are on that list of National Days, so I will celebrate this precious day however I choose.
Because I’m obsessed with sharing music or videos that fit the blog post, here’s Toto singing “I miss the rains down in Africa.”
Because I’m obsessed with gratitude, thanks to all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.
In my good job as a psychotherapist, I sometimes ask new people how they feel about compliments (including encouraging words like “Good job!”). They often do a good job honestly answering that they have trouble with compliments. I hope I do a good job explaining that
When I was doing my good job in person at my office, I would point out the good clock there with the inscription “Show up. Be Gentle. Tell the Truth.” I think that does a good job explaining the process of therapy for both the patient and the provider.
People are dong a good job accepting authentic compliments when they take them in without internal or external protest and simply say, “Thank you.”
I hope I did a good job yesterday capturing these images around me.
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Michael did an incredibly good job creating Shepherd’s Pie from on-hand good ingredients like potatoes, cheese, mushrooms, carrots, corn, and ground turkey.
I have a good many jobs to complete this weekend for my good professional group therapy organization, Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy. I will try to follow my good advice to somebody else about doing a good job for the organization: “Have fun with it!” I hope I did a good job conveying that a good job does not have to be a perfect job.
That reminds me of a good saying I heard on the job: “Don’t let the perfect be the enemy of the good.” Your Secret Mental Weapon (found here) does a good job describing how that modern saying derives from these good quotes:
Voltaire: “The best is the enemy of the good.”
Confucius: “Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without.”
Shakespeare: “Striving to better, oft we mar what’s well.”
Striving to better this post, I hope I do a good job finding a good enough video.
Here‘s Alicia Keys with her great new song, “Good Job.”
I haven’t done a good job here if I don’t convince you to watch that video of many good workers doing a good job during the coronavirus pandemic.
Good job getting to the end of this post and thanks for reading!
Exactly two hundred and seventy-one days/posts ago (but whose choice is it to count?), I published a post titled “Choices” in which I chose to share an exercise about the topic of “Choices” from a therapy group the day before. Today, my repetitive choice is to mention yesterday’s therapy group, wherein people made choices to focus on the topic “Choices” from all the topics discussed and to share (1) important choices from the past, (2) choices coming up for them, and (3) what makes choices more difficult or easier.
My photographic choices yesterday included these choice images:
Note that a patient made the choice of “anticipation” over “hopelessness” from the feeling chart on my office door:
Also, I didn’t make the choice to photograph my list of important life choices, which included:
What important life choices have you made?
Earlier this week, I made the choice to ask Nat — a social work intern and fellow musician — to write a song with me, which we will choose to perform together, singing close and choice harmonies, at a future open mic.. Together Nat and I have already made some choices including this one: I write the lyrics and Nat writes the music.
My choice is to share these lyrics with you:
Nobody’s Perfect
lyrics by Ann Koplow
Nobody’s perfect
Even us two.
We try to be perfect
But that doesn’t do.
We both make mistakes,
In that, we’re like you.
Nobody’s perfect.
That’s perfectly true.
Nobody’s perfect,
Including your friends.
If you’re looking for perfection
Those friendships might end.
Your friends make mistakes,
In that, they’re like you.
Nobody’s perfect.
That’s perfectly true.
Perfectionism makes us imperfectly judgy,
Rigid, unhappy, refusing to budge-y,
It makes thoughts and feelings uncomfortably sludgey
With harsh self-flagellation even if you’re just pudgy.
Nobody’s perfect,
Even a star.
Stars may need to look perfect
But they seldom are.
They all make mistakes,
In that they’re like you.
Nobody’s perfect
And that’s perfectly true.
© Ann Koplow, 2019
Nat chose to tell me he’s glad we’re writing a song together with the choice words “self-flagellation.”
Nat made the choice yesterday to send me some choice music he’s already composed for “Nobody’s Perfect.” Soon, we’ll be making more musical choices together, including featuring the choice fiddle stylings of our talented co-worker, Alice Malone.
Other people have made the choice to write songs titled “Nobody’s Perfect” including this one:
I wonder what choices my readers will make in the comments section, below.
As always, I make the choice to end my posts with gratitude for all those who helped me create this post and — of course! — YOU, for making the choice to visit this blog, here and now.
Why is this post titled “GUILT– Why?”
Is today’s post — on the 1800th day of consecutive blogging here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally — an examination of why we human beings experience guilt?
Why would I attempt a post of such sweeping scope on a morning when I have only 15 minutes to create it before I need to get ready for work?
Here’s why “GUILT — Why?” is today’s title:
Yesterday, in my office, somebody was trying to figure out why they were experiencing increased feelings of guilt. The conclusion was that this person was not getting enough sleep and was eating more sweets and carbs.
Why would lack of sleep and a less healthy diet cause more guilt?
I have no guilt about
Just a reminder … I can find a helpful video on YouTube by searching on my post’s title.
Why should you feel any guilt about leaving (or not leaving) a comment?
GRATITUDE (for all who helped me create this post and for you) — Why?
Just because.
I’m trying out for “The Voice” tomorrow, so I’d like to write about my voice today.
My voice is:
How would you describe your voice — singing or otherwise?
I hope my voice comes through in today’s photos:
If you could hear my voice now, you’d hear this:
Yesterday, I noticed these Christmas colors at the hospital where I do group and individual therapy.
That inspired me to notice more Christmas colors throughout the day.
Sometimes I get distracted by colors. For example, yesterday I picked up the wrong Christmas-colored cup at Starbucks when I thought I heard a barista call my name.
In green-and-red Boston, “Ian” sounds a lot like “Ann.” I returned that purloined Pumpkin Spiced Latte, and here’s my correctly colored cup of Chai Tea:
Does anybody — in Boston or elsewhere — know the history of Christmas colors being green and red?
I suppose I could use Christmas-colored Google to find out, but I’d rather show you some other colors I saw yesterday:
Which colors seem the most like Christmas, to you? Right now, I’d choose those black-and-white hand-written thoughts, from my long-time friend Jerry.
Finally, here’s gratitude and a Christmas song with colors for Jerry, for you, and for all my other readers.
In yesterday’s blog post — which I was happy to present to you — we found out that thesaurus.com believes that happiness is the opposite of intensity.
Fairness, clarity, completeness, and closure are elements of happiness for me, so let’s see if thesaurus.com thinks “intensity” is an antonym of happiness.
It does not. Instead, it lists these:
depression, despair, discouragement, displeasure, dissatisfaction, gloom, melancholy, misery, pain, sadness, trouble, unhappiness, upset, woe, worry
Does what thesaurus.com does — or does not do — get in the way of my happiness today?
It does not.
What might get in the way of my happiness today?
To me, that is happiness — waking up in the morning thinking of only one minor, fixable barrier to happiness.
I’m sure if I spent more time, right now, thinking about past experiences of or future possibilities for
depression, despair, discouragement, displeasure, dissatisfaction, gloom, melancholy, misery, pain, sadness, trouble, unhappiness, upset, woe, worry
… I could come up with lots more.
Instead, I’m going to share the music I was singing out loud yesterday and images I captured, with happiness.
In my previous blog post quoting Pharrell William’s “Happy,” I wondered what he meant by a “room without a roof.”
Now I know.
What might contribute to your happiness today?
As always, it gives me happiness to express my thanks to all who help me create my posts and to all who read them (including you!).
After all these months of my blogging once a day, it’s not a choice whether I’m going to create a post. It IS a choice what I’m going to write about.
It’s not a choice that I sometimes have trouble realizing what my choices are and then deciding what to choose. It is a choice that I tolerate that discomfort and eventually choose.
“Not a choice” was a lyric I heard yesterday, as I made the choice to listen to “Loving You” from Stephen Sondheim’s musical Passion. It’s not a choice for me — at this point in my life — to love Stephen Sondheim’s musical choices. It was a choice, though, which version of that beautiful song to share with you all, today.
I just made the choice of showing you that version by Donna Murphy, from the original cast of Passion.
I’m also making the choice of including this quote, from the first comment on that video of “Loving You” on YouTube:
Today we celebrate Broadway from the 80’s and a few shows from the 90’s. “Passion” ran for 280 performances, making it the shortest-running musical ever to win the Tony award for Best Musical! There is a fine line between obsession and passion. Obsession connotes the feeling that the person is emotionally and mentally ill. Passion, conversely, is supposedly the healthy emotion which two people reciprocally feel for one another.
What might you choose to say about what David’s Broadway Station chose to write there?
This is what I choose to write, here and now. It’s not a choice for me to be:
Actually, most of those things ARE a choice. And I’m making the choice, right now, of making that choice point in this post.
It’s not a choice (or is it?) that I’m going to include some photos here. It is a choice how I present them.
Hmmm. My Apple devices have been making some unexpected choices, lately, regarding how they choose to share photos between them. These kinds of unexpected choices resulted in my blogging from my iPhone for several months earlier this year. I REALLY don’t want to make that choice of typing on that friggin’ phone keyboard any time soon, so let’s see if there’s another choice for me, now, to access yesterday’s photos quickly and easily.
It’s not a choice that I tried to prepare adequately for this last night — those choices are in the past. Is it a choice how much anxiety, concern, worry, disappointment, or frustration I might feel about this unexpected blogging wrinkle, in the moment?
I’m making the choice to breathe, right now, and let go of any investment in how this post is going to turn out, photographically and otherwise.
I am now choosing to replicate the steps I took, last night, to make photos from yesterday accessible to this blog when I’m on my laptop. Therefore, I am making the choice to save this draft and restart my computer.
Drat! My photos from yesterday are NOT there when I choose “Add Media” and “Upload Files.” I don’t know why WordPress, my iPhone, and/or my laptop are choosing to limit my choices this morning. And I don’t have the choice to figure out that unexpected problem, if I choose to be at work on time this morning.
Actually, one photo from yesterday is available, for unknown reasons, so I shall choose that one:
That’s a photo I took during a therapy group yesterday, when we were all making choices about what topics to discuss.
I am also making the choice to include the first few photos from my choice of available photos, this morning:
You have a choice, as always, to make whatever comment you choose about my post.
Choice thanks to all who helped me create this post this morning and to you — of course! — for making the choice of visiting here, today.
Uh-oh. Here I was, all ready to write a particularly judgmental post, during these Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally, called “Pet Peeves,” and I got tagged by blogging master Chatter Master to participate in something called “Oddly Specific Gratitude,” which has a list of instructions of how to do something right, which is one of my pet peeves, because I’m often afraid that I’ll screw things up, especially when it’s something I have’t done before.
So here goes nothing.
First, I need to share the instructions, then share oddly specific gratitudes listed by the 16 bloggers who preceded me, and then add my list of oddly specific things I’m grateful for.
I shall now share the instructions:
The List of Oddly Specific Gratitude
Nerd in the Brain:
1. the smell of wild onions when I mow the lawn
2. coffee makers (having the coffee already prepared in the mornings is magical)
3. the way my crazy dog barks likes a vicious beast at the horses across the road, but then cowers behind me like a needy wimp whenever a horse actually comes close
4. hearing my husband talk on the phone to the rest of his team at work… it reminds me that he’s not just my silly, sweet, awesome husband… he’s also my competent, responsible, highly skilled husband
5. opening a blank lesson plan book and imagining the possibilities to come
6. sausage balls
7. watching Grace’s enthusiasm for all things musical
8. the way I can hear a smile on Olivia’s face whenever we say hello or goodbye on the phone
9. knitting with really soft, squishy yarn
Not a Punk Rocker
10. Getting a random text when Matthew is in cell-signal range. (“Hi”)
11. Awesome stuff in the mail, including Legos and letters from friends, making me smile when I need it the most at the end of a long day.
12. Cherry chapstick.
13. Somebody found my blog by searching for “deadpool talks about political social issues” yesterday.
14. Skype and chat for keeping me in touch with friends in “real-time” when one or the other of us needs it the most.
15. Finding new blogs to read and follow through this challenge!
Jackie P (tobreathistowrite)
16. Having friends like I do here in the blogging world. You all make my days brighter.
17. My dog Sam. He loves me unconditionally, wish more people could love like that. Plus, he makes me laugh daily.
18.Coffee. Without it the world would be a much sadder and thirsty place. And I would be a much harder person to deal with.
19. All the bright and cheerful colors around. Something about bright colors makes me happy. The gold of the sun, the cerulean blue of the sky, the wonder of a rainbow, they never cease to make me glad I’m alive.
20. Books…… you all know what I mean.
Fish of Gold
21. Spell check. Even though it did just strangely try to correct my horribly botched spelling of “another” to “Antoine.” I don’t even know anyone named Antoine, spell check.
22. I’m grateful to myself for being the sucker who couldn’t walk away from my dog’s cage at the animal rescue. My failure to do so has converted 70 dog pounds into a metric ton of joy and unconditional love.
23. Male’s hilariously failed attempts at sexting.
24. My sense of humor. I wouldn’t have survived this long without it.
25. To the Peppers for continuing my harebrained Nano Poblano Blog Hop Story idea and turning it into something unexpectedly awesome. Go Team Pepper
26.I also second #18.
Knocked Over by a Feather
27. My aunts Oreo truffles. They are addictive.
28. Finding my comfy spot in bed.
29. Receiving a spontaneous real hug from my daughter, which rarely happens.
30. Watching stupid TV with my husband.
31. Hearing my mom call me sweetie or something similarly saccharine sweet on the phone
Mental Mama ( Mental in the Midwest)
32. the world’s best tiny mommy
33. Evie and Sissy Cats
34. lithium, depakote, and gabapentin
35. the world’s most amazing support network
36. good dark chocolate, preferably with cherries
37. the jumbo margaritas at Romeo’s – lime, on the rocks, extra salt
Mark Bialczak
38. My dear wife Karen for buying me two season tickets for Syracuse University football six years ago, going to every game with me (but one when she went on a cruise) since and turning home game Saturdays into Happy Happy days win or lose.
39. That Ellie B aka Dogamous Pyle usually looks like this on the end of the living room couch and her specially covered ottoman daily come 10 p.m. after a day of enthusiastically ruling our Syracuse city home we call Little Bitty
40. That Karen talked me into going to the Paws for the Cause rescue dog event that March day four years ago when we saw Ellie marching around in her orange “Adopt Me” vest.
41.That my daughter Elisabeth was smart enough and confident enough and brave enough to go back to school this fall to get her associate’s degree and New York State certificate to become a physical therapist’s assistant, 2 1/2 years after getting her bachelor’s in biology.
42. That writing every day on markbialczak.com since Oct. 27, 2013 has turned out to be so much fun.
43.That Sheena Not a Punk Rocker talked me into hosting Nano Poblano this year, allowing me to meet so many interesting new bloggers! Wait. I want to add two more exclamation points to this one!!
Coulddoworse (Rachel or Lundygirl)
44. The park that I walk through four mornings a week
45. Iced fingers
46. Crochet and blogging; though never at the same time
47. making something beautiful
48. flowers
49. Hot toasted sandwiches with my family on a very rainy bank holiday.
50. beauty that you see in the detail
51. Great memories to mull over and enjoy.
Notes Tied On The Sagebrush
52. I am grateful that I was able to copy this whole list with pictures and get it pasted on to my post without messing it up at all, I hope.
53. I am grateful for my kids xoxo, and my husband xoxo
54. I am grateful to read good books, and watch good films
55. Good food, good wine and good friends
56. That I live in the state of California, USA
57. Discussions with my blogger friends and getting their support for my writing
Linda G. Hill – Life in Progress
58. That moment when I’m not aware that I’m falling asleep.
59. The one Smartie (candy-coated chocolate) that tastes slightly different than every other one in the box.
60. #18 – on this list, not the number eighteen.
61. That my children are alive.
62. Whatever it is that compels me to write; specifically to tell stories.
Idiot Writer ~ Idiot Writing :
63. Poetry (obviously) – mostly my poetry – I need it – lots to say things I cannot say any other way.
64. The Sun – when it shines in the UK.
65. The cheap chocolate bars I found! (and so do not feel guilty buying)
66. The fire-place – though I hate the smoke it emits.
67. Figuring out how to pump the tyre on my car yesterday.
68. Internet – SPEcifiCALLY – finding WordPress.
69. Saturdays – Cos I do not drive on Saturdays. Usually.
70. The sound system in my car – and my teens choice of music…it COULD have been – so so – not good.
71. I nearly forgot about SALT. Salt has so many uses! I am eternally grateful that salt – AND potatoes exist.
72. Last but not least…or rather first – EVER so, very grateful – that Linda has wine. 😛
Doobster418
I’m grateful for:
73. The 11 bloggers who came up with 72 oddly specific items for which they are grateful, leaving me to really stretch to come up with anything new or different.
74. That said, I wish to second, third, or fourth (I’ve lost count) #18. COFFEE!
75. God, the almighty creator of everything and everyone, for granting in me the wisdom to…oh damn, the devil made me write that. Never mind.
76. Those rare days when I’m able to sleep later than 6 a.m.
77. My wife, for being a wonderful mother who stayed home to raise two great kids while I was off doing my worky-thing.
78. San Francisco weather, because it never snows, never gets below freezing, and never gets really hot and muggy.
79. My health, except for my vertigo, tinnitus, and my current lameness due to plantar fisciitis. But otherwise, my health is pretty damn good.
80. My blog and the fellow bloggers I interact with on pretty much a daily basis.
81. iTunes
82. The Oxford comma and those who use it.
Lucy at the Excessive Gardener
I am grateful for :
83. I am so grateful for Evernote. Those of us who use and cherish it know why life is so much better. I am really grateful that I spend the few dollars each month for the premium version.
84. Golden Retrievers. My Golden, Roger, died years ago and I still miss him. I live with a Golden, my roommate’s, and he is a joy and a pain to live with but he is proof that if you know one Golden Retriever, you know them all.
85. My new knee. How wonderful it is to walk without pain. I can hardly wait to have the other knee replaced.
86. The drug Avastin. The FDA withdrew approval of the chemo drug for breast cancer, which means insurance companies won’t cover it, and it is not cheap. I was lucky and got in on clinical trials for Avastin. It saved my life.
87. That I live in Florida, right where I want to be: minutes from white, sandy beaches and warm Gulf waters and only 2 hours to Disney World.
88. Better World Books. If you know it, you know what I mean.
89. Quad Core.
90. Defensive gardening. There’s nothing more satisfying than out-smarting a bug or an animal.
Now my list:
91. I’ll start by saying what goes without saying but should be said anyway: I’m grateful for my husband Mark, my family, and my friends.
92. I’m grateful that I live in the Twin Cities (Minneapolis-St. Paul) of Minnesota. We have an amazing combination of abundant cultural opportunities, a highly educated and literate population, PLUS endless amounts of parks, lakes, bike trails, you name it. We need the horrific winters to keep out the riffraff.
93. I’m grateful for having a job that provides me opportunity for (partially) subsidized travel experiences.
94. As everyone else said, #18 (coffee!)
95. I’m grateful for books! So many books! So many writers with so many words! As long as I have the capacity to read, I’ll never be bored.
96. I’m grateful that my husband has the best hobby ever: in his spare time, he makes furniture out of wood in our garage. He loves doing it and I love the furniture he makes for me. Talk about win-win!
97. I am grateful for the internet, which provides me with the opportunity to blog and to meet all of you amazing bloggers. I’m particularly grateful for the Nano Poblano Peppers for the sense of community y’all have been providing this month.
98. Cats! I’m grateful for my kitties Tennessee and Zelda for being such cute and cuddly pains in the butt.
Me – Who Am I
I’m grateful for:
99. Warmth! When it’s -10 outside, I’m grateful for a heater that works.
100. We made it to 100! I feel privileged to be the one who fills this one out.
101. My son. He shows me the world in a way that no one else can.
102. Fellow bloggers and the wonderful community we have here.
103. Today I’m grateful for today; a day that I may not have had.
104. Fruit. Fruit does a body good.
105. Sleep, finally! Insomnia is terrible.
Me Next – Chatter Master
106. Not having a body temperature of 94 degrees.
107. Fat baby cheeks that split in to super wide grins and smiles with various numbers of teeth-when they see me.
108. That moment at the end of the day when I know I’m done “doing” all that I am going to do for the day and there are those peaceful few minutes of quiet and relaxing with my husband.
109. Saying “I love you” at the end of phone calls and visits and not feeling awkward about it. And knowing my kids don’t either because I raised them with it being easy to say “I love you”.
110. Remembering a song from childhood and thinking no one else in the world knows it, only to Youtube it and there it is!
111. People. Good people. I’m so very thankful for good people.
Pssst! It’s me, Ann Koplow, from The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally, trying to let go of judgment and add my list of oddly specific gratitudes, starting with #112, which is a number I have no particular associations with:
112. Numbers and other things I have no particular associations with, since I love seeing things in a new light, letting go of baggage from the past.
113. Numbers and other things that I do have particular associations with, since I love things that have been in my life, up to this point.
114. Even though #112 and #113 cover everything in the universe (at least the way I think), I am also oddly specifically grateful for the way I think.
115. Everybody who has ever read my blog or anybody else’s blog, which may seem oddly general instead of oddly specific, at this point. (I’ve been in a very feisty mood lately, so I would like to see ANYBODY give me a difficult time about how I’m choosing to participate here.)
116. My cats, including Oscar, shown here moments after he accidentally accessed Siri — the alleged “personal helper” on my iPhone — having about as much luck getting help from her as I usually do:
117. My keyboard (pictured) and my fingers (not pictured):
118. Photos I take accidentally with my iPhone, like that one directly above.
119. People I meet during the day who are willing to engage in an authentic, open way, even if only for a moment, like Kenny
who stands guardian at the parking lot where I get my medical care, where I’ve been needing to go to several appointments lately because nobody knows what the hell is going on with my health.
120. My memory, which allows me to quote, accurately enough, dialogs I have with people like Kenny, such as:
Kenny (obviously using the memorized script he has to say to every driver who enters the parking lot since, apparently, people are parking there who shouldn’t be): Do you have an appointment here? Are you a patient?
Me (making an exaggerated sad face, because I REALLY DON’T WANT TO BE GOING TO A MEDICAL APPOINTMENT and then nodding “yes” slowly, saying nothing).
Kenny: (after a brief pause) Oh.
Me: Do you believe me?
Kenny: No.
… which cheered me up considerably and resulted in my Literally Laughing Out Loud.
121. My memory, which allows me to recall another thing Kenny said to me, after I Laughed Out Loud: “You have a good day, sweetie.” (Yes, I know this is supposed to be a list of Oddly Specific Gratitude, not Oddly Repetitive Gratitude, but please see #115, above.)
122. The room to have all my feelings, including sadness, humor, fear, disappointment, annoyance, gratitude, etc. etc. etc.
123. The opportunity to end lists (at least my portion of them)
Okay! Let’s see what I else I have to do in this post today. Ah, yes! I shall now express gratitude to all previous bloggers preceding me:
The List of Oddly Specific Bloggers
Nerd in the Brain
Not a Punk Rocker
To Breath is to Write
Fish of Gold
Knocked Over by a Feather
Mental in the Midwest
Markbialczak.com
Coulddoworse
Deborah at Notes Tied on the Sagebrush
Linda at Life In Progress
Idiot Writer
Mindful Digressions
The Excessive Gardener
Booking It
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally
Now, I have to do one more thing, I think, to make this right (or “good enough” as I prefer to think about such things). I need to tag another blogger, which means I have to find the list of other people willing to participate in this. Arrrghhh! I am having a lot of trouble finding those kinds of things these days, simply because I’m dealing with too much friggin’ information lately.
Hold on …
I’m choosing (drum roll, if you’ve got a drum):
… because I’m oddly specifically grateful for that name.
Yippee!
Thanks to all for whom I’m oddly specifically grateful, which includes you, y’know.
_____________________________________
After I published this post, I realized I forgot to include something, for which I am NOT oddly specifically grateful:
Michael’s cooking. On what planet would it be odd to be grateful for that?
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 