Day 2321: Responsibilities

My responsibilities today include

• letting you know I’ve never written a “Responsibilities” post before,
• facilitating two Coping and Healing groups at work, and
• sharing my photos from yesterday (which has recently become more difficult, for some unknown reason, and I don’t know if WordPress or my laptop are responsible).

 

My responsibilities, here and now, include telling you that “Responsibilities” was the topic chosen by yesterday’s Coping and Healing group, and that this is what I wrote in response to the question “What is your personal experience of responsibilities?”

I can be over responsible, which can get in the way of enjoying the present moment. “What do I have to do right now?”  “Nothing except be here, now, as best I can.” I am going to ask myself that question, with that answer, more often.

What is your personal experience of responsibilities?

I have a few more blogging responsibilities right now:  inviting you to be kind,

sharing this photo of Michael’s delicious chicken parmesan from last night,

… posting a song about responsibilities,

asking for comments, and expressing my thanks to all who helped me meet my responsibilities with today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

 

Day 2223: Be a hero.

“Be a hero” — a sign I saw yesterday —

reminds me of a post I wrote my second week of blogging, almost six years ago: Day 11: You might as well be the hero of your own story.

As you can see from the blog title and from the post itself, being a blogging hero, back then, meant using far more words and a lot fewer photos.

I guess being a hero changes as we grow, learn, and mature.

Be a hero, to me, and check out my other photos from yesterday.

Last night, Michael was being a hero by making our favorite vegetable lasagna for me and my son Aaron.

Because I’m feeling nostalgic today, here’s the first appearance of my hero Michael and his heroic lasagna in my blog (starting at 1:23).

Be a hero and please leave a comment, below.

Being a hero includes expressing appreciation and gratitude, so thanks to every hero who helped me create today’s blog and — of course! — to YOU, my heroes!

Day 1499: I have always depended on the kindness of strangers

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers — in hospitals, in unfamiliar territories, and elsewhere. And it’s strange how often strangers have been kind, even though we’re taught to fear strangers.

“I have always depended on the kindness of strangers” is a quote from A Streetcar Named Desire.

Have you depended on the kindness of strangers?  When you’ve depended on the kindness of strangers, what happened?

Throughout my day yesterday, I depended on the kindness of strangers and  I showed kindness to strangers, too.

Would it be strange to look for strangers or kindness in the strange kinds of photos I took yesterday?

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers at YouTube to share music I want to include in my posts.

Yesterday, kind people at cardiac rehab played the theme from Rocky to inspire us to work harder AND to celebrate the New England Patriots’ Super Bowl win, which was stranger than fiction.

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers here in the blog-o-sphere.  For over four years of daily posts, no stranger has ever been unkind.

Kindly leave a comment about kindness and I will kindly respond.

Kind thanks to all those who helped me create this post about the kindness of strangers and to you — of course! — for your kindness,, here and now.

Day 1462: A cup of kindness

For auld lang syne and for new times ahead, let’s take a cup of kindness, dears.

Here‘s Auld Lang Syne, with cups of kindness from Scandinavian Soprano Sissel Kyrkjebø:

 

Any cups or kindness in my other photos from yesterday?

In case anybody was wondering, there will be another sequel to The Year of Living Non-Judgmentally. That is, I’ll be blogging daily in 2017, sharing cups of kindness with you all.

For all your support since my first post on January 1, 2013, thanks from the bottom of my heart.

Day 1419: Let us be kind and compassionate to remove the sadness of the world

Yesterday, a kind and compassionate teabag removed the sadness of my world.

Let me be kind and compassionate to remove the sadness of the world, as best I can,  with this story:

When I was at cardiac rehab yesterday morning, feeling the sadness of the world, a guy (who had been kind and compassionate to me the week before) teased another guy there, like so: “You lift weights like a girl!” I immediately said, “Is that still an insult?”

Was that kind and compassionate?

When it became obvious to me that my new pacemaker/defibrillator was not being kind and compassionate to my heart while I was exercising, I decided to leave cardiac rehab early. I said to the guy, “I’m leaving, but it’s not because of what you said.”  He replied, “Hey! I’m doing my best, you know. I used to be a truck driver. I’m evolving!” I said, “We’re all evolving.”

Was that kind and compassionate?

To me, it felt like it removed some of the sadness of the world.

Soon after that, my kind and compassionate doctor, Mark Estes, removed the sadness of my world by reprogramming my pacemaker/defibrillator and by giving me more hope about my future. We also talked a little about the sadness of the world, which felt kind and compassionate.

Let us be kind and compassionate with my other photos from yesterday:

Do those remove any sadness from your world?

Here‘s the kind and compassionate music removing the sadness of my world, here and now:

 

Will you be kind and compassionate and remove the sadness of the world with a comment?

Let me be kind and compassionate, thanking all  who helped me create this post and you — of course! — for bringing your kindness and compassion to my world, today.

Day 1353: Practice kind listening and kind speaking.

What kind of tea bag would tell you  to practice kind listening and kind speaking?

A kind and practical one.

I try to practice kind listening and kind speaking in my job as a group and individual therapist.  I think kind speaking is the finest kind and so is kind listening, although I wonder if people can tell I’m listening kindly.

Yesterday, I announced at a team meeting at work that this is my last week before my six-week medical leave, and people there listened and spoke kindly, which made me cry.  That reminds me of a post I wrote my first year of blogging, very soon after the Boston Marathon bombing, called Kindness can make me cry, even harder. If you like reading that kind of post, please be kind enough to click on the link in the previous sentence.

During a day of kind listening and kind speaking, I took these kinds of photos:

Because my friend Deb was kind enough to give me a ticket, we both listened to and performed all kinds of amazing tunes at a Hamilton sing-along last night.  Here and here are two kind versions of my favorite kind of song to sing from Hamilton.

Gotta run for more kind listening and kind speaking at work today. If you are kind enough to speak your mind in a comment, I shall practice kind listening.

For all the kind people who helped me create today’s  post and for you and your kindness in visiting my blog today, here’s another kind of photo:

 

Day 1317: Salt and Battery

Five hundred and sixty-nine days ago (but who’s counting?), I created the post Day 748: A Salt and Battery. I hope it doesn’t feel like assault and battery that I’m

• using such a similar title today and
•  recommending that you read that other post before you read this one.

Why “Salt and Battery” today?

This past Saturday, because we were assaulted and battered by torrential downpours and multiple-car-accident delays on our way to seeing comedian Louis C.K. in Springfield Massachusetts, I ended up eating the only food available at the concert venue, which was battered with lots of salt.  Eating too much salt battered me and my unusual heart in a way it never has before.

As I recover from that and prepare for the inevitable assault and battery involved in open heart surgery, I am trying to soothe and protect my mind, body, and soul from the assault and battery of worry and stress.

Here are some worrying and stressful things that can feel like assault and battery to me:

1. Dealing with bureaucracies.
2. Financial issues.
3. Disrespect.
4. Ignorance.
5. Discrimination.
6. Rigidity.
7. Cruelty.
8. Illness.
9. Hopelessness.
10. Guilt.
11. Shame.

What feels like assault and battery to you?

When you feel assaulted, salted, or battered, what helps?

My hope is that some of the photos I took yesterday might help you as much as they are helping me:

Taking what you need — a very effective way to reduce assault, salt, and battery.

If you haven’t gotten all you need yet from this blog, here’s another antidote to assault and battery — some dancing salts on stage:

 

Thanks to my son Aaron (in the center of that battery of dancers) and everyone else who helped me create today’s salt-and-battery post. A special battery of thanks to you — of course! — for visiting this salty blogger, here and now.

 

Day 1230: Boys and Their Families

This is my boy, Aaron, expressing appreciation for his family:

Aaron’s mother took many pictures of her boy last night as he appeared in a Shakespeare play about a boy and his family, Henry IV, Part 1:

Many members of my boy’s family were there to see my boy perform as the boy prince, Hal.

One member of my boy’s family expressed pride and well wishes for her boy, in the play’s program:

Earlier in the day, somebody at work sent me this, about a boy and his family:

I assume some purr boys and girls with families might now want to sing this song:

Certain boy’s family members like to take photos. Here’s the rest of my family of photos from yesterday:

Since my boy was a little boy, he has spent a lot of time with his  talented “roguish, onion-eyed” friend Cameron, who has a lovely family. Cameron has appeared with Aaron in  previous posts, including Day 833: Be Kind and  Day 1093: What are you eating/What’s eating you.  Here’s Cameron, heavily padded as Falstaff, from last night:

Aaron’s blogging family member now wishes to express her gratitude for all those who helped her create this “Boys and Their Families” post and to all the boys and girls reading this, here and now.

Day 1122: Overwhelmed

Yesterday, people in my therapy group were overwhelmed with many stressful problems. Therefore,  I suggested that we write, draw, or otherwise express ourselves about being overwhelmed.

If it’s not too overwhelming, how might you answer those questions?

Here’s how I answered Question #1: What is your personal experience of being overwhelmed?

As a way to let go of being overwhelmed, I shall now list what might overwhelm me, in the moment:

1. Fear.
2. Worry.
3. Anticipation of what might go wrong in the future.
4. Anticipation of what might go right in the future.
5. Concerns about other people’s judgments.
6. All the things I’m supposed to get done today.
7. All the things I’m supposed to get done during this time of the year (including TAXES).
8. Things I cannot control, such as the weather.
9. My 63rd birthday, coming up in less than a week.

For me, what helps is to make a list of what might overwhelm me, like the one above. Then, it all seems less overwhelming, especially if I challenge what’s on the list, like so:

1. Life is scary, so feel the fear and do it anyway.
2. Worry doesn’t help me.  Don’t worry, be happy.  What me worry? Let go of worry about worry!
3. I can’t control the future; I can only do my best in the moment.
4. Really?  I’m overwhelmed by what might go RIGHT?  How goofy is that?
5. I can’t control what other people think or how they judge.  And, I know that other people’s judgments and thoughts can’t really hurt me. Are you judging me now?  Guess what!  It doesn’t touch me!
6. What if I don’t get everything done today?  Is the world going to end? I think not.
7. See #6, above.
8. “There is no bad weather, only bad clothing.”
9. Up until now, I’ve always loved my birthday (because it’s GROUNDHOG DAY) and I’m grateful I’m still here.

I don’t know about you, but I feel less overwhelmed.

Are you overwhelmed by any of my other photos from yesterday?

 

 

Overwhelmed by all this?  Try making a list and letting it go.

Overwhelming thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and to you — of course! — for visiting here, today.

 

Day 285: How to choose a doctor

Dear Readers,

I would like to share my abundant expertise with you about an important and timely topic.

Where I live, everybody is talking about health care.

And no matter where you are, having a good doctor on your team is really important.

Here’s what I’ve learned — over many decades of experience — about choosing a doctor.

1. Make a list of your priorities.  In other words, think about what’s important, to you, in a doctor.
2. Be an educated and self-empowered consumer. That is, ask to meet different doctors until you find one that matches your priorities well enough.

It’s a short list, isn’t it?  However, it took me a long time to figure that out.

But that’s how I always choose doctors, ever since I’ve become an adult.

Let me show you how it works, for me.

Here’s my list of priorities, for a doctor:

1. Experience with my medical issues (or, at least, eager to get more experience).
2. Listens well.
3. Explains and communicates well.
4. Flexible thinker  (in order to understand unexpected and complex issues of care).
5. Responsive to requests, in a timely enough manner.
6. Demonstrates kindness and compassion.
7. Creates a comfortable enough atmosphere.

For every doctor involved in my care, I’ve made choices, using that list of priorities.

Last week, I saw my Primary Care Physician, Dr. Laura Snydman.  She definitely meets my priorities.

Here’s some proof, of at least one of those priorities:

Don’t you agree?

Thanks to Dr. Snydman, adorable dogs everywhere, compassionate treaters of all kinds, people dealing with health care issues,  and to you, of course, for reading today.