Posts Tagged With: John Williams

Day 2528: Resistance

Apparently I have some resistance to writing about resistance, because when I search for “resistance” in seven years’ worth of daily blogging, these are the posts that appear:

Day 2075: Et tu Brute?

Day 1842: The Least

Day 731: Small  Change

Day 479: Super Recovery Woman, revisited

Day 425: Truth Teller

Day 320: Show up, be gentle, tell the truth

Day 217: Strangers

Day 174: Surprised by joy

Day 153: Do I Dare to Tweet a Tweet?

Day 149: To Tweet or Not to Tweet (is that the question?)

Day 73: The Fear of Feeling “Too Good” — Part 2

Day 69: To Do Lists (How NOT to get overwhelmed)

Day 50: Sleep — Needs, History, Distortions, and a Wish

This may be a sign of resistance, but I don’t see how those posts are about resistance, defined as following:

resistance noun
re·​sis·​tance | \ ri-ˈzi-stən(t)s \

1a : an act or instance of resisting : OPPOSITION
b : a means of resisting
2 : the power or capacity to resist: such as
a : the inherent ability of an organism to resist harmful influences (such as disease, toxic agents, or infection)
b : the capacity of a species or strain of microorganism to survive exposure to a toxic agent (such as a drug) formerly effective against it
3 : an opposing or retarding force
4a : the opposition offered by a body or substance to the passage through it of a steady electric current
b : a source of resistance
5 : a psychological defense mechanism wherein a patient rejects, denies, or otherwise opposes the therapeutic efforts of a psychotherapist
6 often capitalized : an underground organization of a conquered or nearly conquered country engaging in sabotage and secret operations against occupation forces and collaborators

Perhaps I have a resistance to writing about resistance because it can be so exhausting to deal with resistance.  When I encounter resistance (definitions #1 and #3 ) that doesn’t make sense to me, it can affect my sleep and perhaps my natural resistance to disease (definition #2).

I often notice my own resistance to:

Yesterday, I had some resistance to taking photos, so I have only these images to share:

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A peace sign is one of my favorite signs of resistance.

Here, here, and here there are resistance songs on YouTube:

 

Do you notice any resistance to leaving a comment?

I’m never aware of any resistance to my expressing gratitude to all who help me create these daily posts, including YOU.

 

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Categories: definition, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

Day 1426: What’s important?

What’s important?

Is it important that I’m returning to work next week after a two-month medical leave?

Is it important who occupies the White House?

Is it important that I make my own t-shirts?

Is it important that Fidel Castro died?

Is it important that I blog everyday, unless I am incapable of doing so?

Is nature important?

Is television important?

Is kindness important?

Are cupcakes important?

Is communication important?

Are pets important?

Are holidays important?

Are possessions important?

Are celebrities important?

Are you important?

Am I important?

Are people who are different from you and me important?

Are any of my photos from yesterday important?

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Is it important that I watched Carrie Fisher on Stephen Colbert‘s Late Show and then in The Empire Strikes Back yesterday?

Is it important what music I include in these posts?

 

What’s important to me is what’s important to you, here and now.

Important thanks to all the important ones who contributed to this post and to you — of course! — because you are important, no matter what you think or feel.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 38 Comments

Day 45: Mistakes, where art thou sting?

I woke up early this morning, with the title of this post in my head.

And I understand why.  Over the last couple of days, the few times I have felt bad, it’s been because I’ve believed that I have made …..

A MISTAKE.

(Imagine very, very scary music here) (perhaps written by Bernard Hermann, John Williams, or another film composer who has written very, very scary music.)

And I thought it was interesting that this particular title came up for me, because here is the original quote:

Oh, death, where art thou sting?

which is apparently from the bible. (I looked it up.)

So it’s interesting to me that the original quote was about death.

Because THAT’S how scary it can feel to me, when I make a mistake.

I will try to make this blog post short (although, probably, not quite as short as yesterday’s post), because I would like to go back to sleep.  I WILL try to complete it in about 30 minutes, no matter what the length.

I would just like to mention Two Dread Mistakes I’ve made in the last two days, at which I  (literally) went cold, when I realized what I had done:

Dread Mistake # 1

The day I got back to work, one of the other social workers at the hospital, named Tom, wrote an e-mail to all the other therapists there, asking if people could recommend a psychiatrist for a patient of his to see.  There was a typo in his e-mail, so instead of “I am seeking a psychiatrist for a woman,” he wrote, “I am seeing a psychiatrist for a woman.”  And I got a kick out of that, and wrote him an e-mail back, pointing that out to him.

In that e-mail I wrote him, I  also told him that I loved that typo, and it helped me, because I always felt bad after I had sent an e-mail and realized that I had made a typo.  So I told him he had made my day.  And when I sent my e-mail, I specifically made sure to send it only to him, rather than press “Reply All.”   I didn’t want to point out his mistake to everybody — that seemed snarky and ungenerous.  I just wanted to communicate with him about it.

So, later that day, my supervisor at work told me that she had received my e-mail, too.  And I couldn’t believe it. I figured that mistake was due to (1) all my Windows programs at work being updated a few days before I left, which has been confusing the hell out of me and (2) the fact that I was soooo exhausted my first day back at work.

And I felt AWFUL.  And I knew my feeling that way was all out of proportion to the Sin that I Had Committed (which was negligible).  But I just … could … not … shake … that …. feeling.   And I tried, really hard, because my supervisor told me this right before we started conducting an interview with an intern, who is going to work with me next year.

Before and after the interview, my supervisor helped me deal with my … shame, I guess, about this mistake. She knows me well enough to have seen me struggle with mistakes. And, we actually told the intern we were interviewing (who was great, by the way) about how I was worrying about this dopey mistake I had made, and how my supervisor and I — and other therapists in the department — were learning how to deal with our own perfectionism.

So, after the interview,  my supervisor and I discussed how I could feel better about this mistake I had made, of broadcasting my reply to Tom’s e-mail to dozens of other people.  I called Tom and left him a message, letting him know how I had accidentally pressed “Reply All.”

And,  he wrote me a very gracious, sweet, and funny e-mail back, telling me he liked my e-mail, that a lot of people had pointed out his mistake to him, and that it was all fine.

Dread Mistake #2

Hey!  This one relates to my blog post, from yesterday.  I wrote that post at 7 PM last night, when I was tired and hungry.  I almost titled it “The 30-minute Blog,” because I wanted to “get it over with” quickly, so I could go out to dinner.

And I DID write that post in about 30 minutes, and I felt a  feeling of satisfaction about that. And I thought the post was fine. So I was really glad when I pressed the “publish” button.

Then, at dinner, I checked the post briefly and realized …

(more scary film music, perhaps Bernard Hermann again, with shrieking violins, like from “Psycho”)

… that the post hadn’t really published, even though I had gotten the “You Published 43 Posts” message back from WordPress.

This has happened to me before.  I think if I have two windows open while I’m writing, and I publish the post from the second window I’ve opened, it doesn’t work. Instead, it saves the draft.

So I KNEW that all I needed to do was to republish the post from the saved draft, when I got home. But I HATED that I had screwed up (with a computer, again! just like with Dread Mistake #1). I pictured people who follow my blog getting an e-mail (or seeing the post published on my Facebook page), clicking the link, and then receiving an error message about an empty post ( like what I saw when I checked at dinner).

And, again, I worked hard at letting go of the bad feeling, recognizing — rationally — that I was over-reacting. I realized that,  honestly, who would care?  This was no big deal and quite fixable, within an hour or so.

So, there are my confessions, about my two dread mistakes.

And I’m letting go of shame, right now, about how I can get so upset about such trivial mistakes.

And I’m working on this, dear reader, throughout this Year of Living Non-Judgmentally.  I’m working on this, really hard.

And I’m definitely making progress.

You know, I wrote a chapter about Mistakes in the book I’m working on.  (Possible title of that chapter: “Mistakes Won’t Kill You.”)  And I talk to people about mistakes, in my work, a lot.  And I know I’m not alone in beating myself up about mistakes.

I know I’ve written about mistakes in earlier blog posts here, but you know what? I’m not going to look at my past blog posts right now and provide some links.

This post doesn’t need to be perfect.

And neither do I.

And neither do you, dear reader.

Done! Back to sleep.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Categories: personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments

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