Day 2986: What are you looking forward to?

Yesterday, in both my Coping and Healing groups, people shared what they were looking forward to.

I’m looking forward to:

• another Coping and Healing group today,
• Michael’s stroganoff for dinner,
• the weekend,
• walks by the water,
• music,
• dancing,
• connecting,
• being in the moment,
• letting go of regrets about the past and worries about the future,
• accepting all feelings, and
• sharing my images from the last two days.

One of my biggest fears used to be singing and playing imperfectly in front of people. I’ve done so much work on that I am truly looking forward to singing “Vaccinated Women” to the tune of “Fascinating Rhythm” tonight at an Open Mic. I’m also looking forward to sharing that imperfect performance with you tomorrow.

Here’s an imperfect performance of mine from two years ago in LA at the great Ron Lynch’s “Tomorrow” show:

What are you looking forward to? I’m looking forward to your comments, below.

If you’re looking forward to my gratitude to you for showing up here today, here it is!

Day 2446: Difficult people

Yesterday, in a Coping and Healing group, non-difficult people talked about difficult people.

If it’s difficult to see “difficult people’ in that list of topics, it’s on the third line, third topic from the right. Some solutions to dealing with difficult people are also on that third line: “self care” and “letting it go.”

Coincidentally,  I was researching difficult people the day before that group.  Here‘s a link to a Psychology Today article by Kimberley Key — “How to Handle a Crazymaker:  4 keys to keep from losing it when they start playing games.”  Kimberley Key’s 4 keys to dealing with difficult people are:

1. Take an observer’s point of view.
2. Maintain a healthy sense of self worth.
3. Keep a healthy distance.
4. Cultivate internal validation.

I need to deal with a difficult person at work today.  Blogging about that, here and now, is reducing the difficulty for me — I’m actually looking forward to the opportunity to practice these helpful skills.

Is that difficult to believe?

Let’s see if there are difficult people in my other photos from yesterday:

Harley deals with difficult people by hiding under the bed.

Even difficult people can inspire good things.  It was because of a difficult person that I wrote my first original song, 16 months ago:

And a difficult person inspired my latest song, which I performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe last month:

How do you deal with difficult people?

Here’s another way I deal with difficult people: I get in touch with the gratitude I have for all the non-difficult people in my life, including YOU.

 

Day 2351: What would you like the power to do?

Yesterday, after a day of owning my  power at the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy annual conference (Diving In: From the Shallows to the Deep) and on my way to a wonderful party at the home of one of the NSGP members, I saw this sign:

What would you like the power to do? I would like the power to

• speak up,
• grow,
• be confident,
• play,
• influence,
• encourage people to heal in group therapy,
• reach people through this blog, and
• share my other photos from yesterday.

 

I wish our current national leaders had the power to be nice and I’m wondering about the power of the upcoming New Hampshire presidential primary.

I would like the power to share my one video from yesterday, but I will have to power up my phone to do that after I share this post via my laptop.

Here, here, here, and here are the original songs I played at the party last night that one powerful  person had the power to call “Brilliant.”

The brilliant person at the party had the power to convince me to try to do a workshop at next year’s conference based on my original songs.

Would you like the power to comment?

I have the power to do gratitude at this daily blog, so thanks to all who gave me the power to create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.

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I have the power to share this video of my singing my conference committee gratitude song at the NSGP business meeting yesterday. I also have the power to sing it today at the end of the conference, when it may be more powerful.

 

Day 2297: Trust is …

Trust is  …

• the subject of several of my previous blog posts (here, here, here, and here),
• the basis of the  first stage in Erickson’s eight stages of psychosocial development,
• difficult to come by these days,
• helping people around the world deal with the devastation to France’s Notre Dame Cathedral, and
• according to Yogi Tea, the union of two things.

Intelligence and integrity tell me that trust is many different things to many different people.

Trust is something I felt yesterday, when I walked near our home during the day and then performed two of my original songs at an Open Mic in Boston in front of a very noisy, post-Boston Marathon crowd.

 

 

Trust is important  if you perform in front of people.

Trust is part of expressing gratitude, so I trust you will accept my thanks for visiting my blog, here and now.

 

 

Day 2274: It’s never what you expect

“Ir’s never what you expect” is what I expect my boyfriend Michael to say, along with these other expected sayings from Michael:

“It’s all coming together.”

“Everybody loves you.”

“But do you love …… OSCAR?” (whenever I tell Michael I love him).

“Has he shaved off his filthy beard?” (when I tell Michael that I’ve FaceTimed with my son, Aaron).

It’s never what I expect whenever I do my taxes, including yesterday, when I discovered that all that time and effort I had spent keeping track of  the usual job-related education expenses was for nought, because of changes to the U.S. tax laws.  After my tax software had prompted me to calculate and enter these expenses (like conferences, air travel, hotels,  meals) yesterday morning, it unexpectedly flashed a screen that said,

Because of tax reform, job-related expenses are no longer deductible, unless you are

• A qualified performing artist .
• A fee-basis state or local government official
• A member of the National Guard or Military Reserve who had unreimbursed travel expenses for guard or reserve duties more than 100 miles from home
• Disabled and claiming expenses related to the impairment
• Provided with a minister housing allowance

I would have expected my tax software to tell me that BEFORE it prompted me, for about two hours, to enter all those expenses, but it’s never what you expect, is it?

I wonder if I’m a qualified performing artist because of the songs I’ve been writing, like this one:

I expect not.

My son Aaron told me yesterday not to expect to perform at the Edinburgh  Festival Fringe this August, because neither of us have received notice of an assigned show venue yet. Aaron expects that if you lower your expectations, you won’t be disappointed. I still expect to perform, somehow.

You probably expect me to post photos from yesterday, but these photos might not be what you expect.

You might expect to see photos of other cats here (namely Oscar and Harley), but it’s never what you expect.

You might expect me to express gratitude at the end of my daily blog posts. but did you expect all this?

 

 

 

 

Day 2254: Love Letters

Today’s blogging love letter is inspired by a lovely conversation with loving WordPress blogger Debra, whom I loved meeting in Los Angeles on Friday. I told Debra that my son, Aaron, whom I love, does not read my blog and how he has told me that he will read all the letters, words, sentences, and paragraphs in my blog after I die.

I told Debra that I love that, because after I’m gone Aaron will discover that this blog is “a love letter to him, as well as to many others.”

In this daily blog, over the past six years, I have written love letters to

• my son Aaron,
• my boyfriend Michael,
• my sister Ellen,
• my parents,
• my therapy groups,
• group therapy,
• my readers,
• my ex-sister-in-law Deborah,
• my ex-sister-in-law Diane,
• my other ex-in-laws (including my nieces Laura, Julie, and Victoria)
• my sister-in-law Linda,
• my cousin Lani,
• my friend Barbara,
• my friend Deb,
• my friend Carol,
• my friend Jeanette,
• friends and ex-college-roommates Marcia and Maria,
• my friends Janet and Ray,
• my friend Megan,
• my friend Janis,
• my friend Dave,
• my friend Lawry,
• my friend Eleanor,
• my friend Arnie,
• my friend Peggy,
• My friend Kathy,
• My friend Jenn and her family,
• My Scottish heart sisters Vicki and Andrena,
• my son Aaron’s friends,
• my co-worker Alice,
• other co-workers (past and present),
• my ex-neighbor Karen,
• my dentist,
• healers,
• school friends,
• childhood friends,
• children of all ages,
• fellow bloggers I’ve met including Mark Bialczak, Lisa from Daily Musings,  Val Boyko from Find Your Middle Ground,  and the aforementioned Debra from breathelighter,
• fellow bloggers I haven’t met (yet),
• blogging,
• my high school classmates including Jean and Beth,
• my old schools,
• my old business partner Jonathan,
• Ron Lynch,
• Dr. Neil Portenza/Josh Ladgrove,
• Irv Yalom,
• Pat Metheny,
• Lyle Mays,
• Michael Brecker,
• Jean-Luc Ponty,
• Jaco Pastorius,
• Miles Davis,
• Stephen Sondheim,
• Gene Kelly and other dancers,
• Todd Rundgren,  Stevie Wonder, Steely Dan, and other singer-songwriters,
• Mel Brooks and other film-makers,
• Jackie Chan,
• Martin Luther King,
• Walt Disney,
• Jane Austen, William Shakespeare, John Collier, and other writers,
• other celebrities,
• other activists,
• people with unusual hearts,
• musicals,
• movies,
• television shows,
• jazz,
• strangers I’ve met who have immediately become less strange,
• Boston, Massachusetts,
• the North Shore of Boston,
• the South Shore of Boston,
• South Carolina,
• Panama,
• Iceland,
• Edinburgh,
• the Edinburgh Festival Fringe,
• the ocean,
• my hair artiste MiAlisa,
• my car mechanics,
• my car,
• my medical doctors and other treaters,
• group therapy professional organizations,
• comedy,
• comedians,
• music,
• musicians,
• writers,
• other creative types,
• our cats,
• dogs,
• animals,
• nature,
• happy people,
• people in pain,
• all the different human emotions,
• languages,
• words and definitions,
• signs,
• certain letters of the alphabet, and
• many other inspiring and/or ordinary subjects and objects.

I sometimes love linking to past blog posts and sometimes I don’t, especially when my love letter list is so long! I also don’t love leaving people off of loving lists, so I may be adding more love letters to this post, later.

What love letters are you writing these days?

I should write love letters to Ron Lynch for inviting me to warm up the crowd last night at his Tomorrow! show in L.A. and also to Don for sending me the video, as promised.

I look forward to all the letters in the comments section, below.

Love letters to all  who helped me create today’s blogging love letter and — of course! — to YOU, my lovely and loving readers.

Day 2253: Every object has a story

I hope you don’t object to the idea that every object has a story, including all the objects in the photos I took during the last day and night of my week-long visit to Los Angeles:

I go for days like yesterday, with many objects having interesting stories (did you notice that the popcorn at Dynasty Typewriter had the story that it was “world famous?”)

Last night, I shared stories with the object of my long-time admiration, affection, and gratitude, Ron Lynch.

I don’t think other comedians would object to my describing Ron as a comedian par excellence and the host of the  Tomorrow!, show, now at L.A.’s Dynasty Typewriter at the Hayworth. I didn’t object when Ron asked me to warm up the audience last night at Tomorrow! last night, so I performed my original song with the perhaps objectionable title “I Don’t Like You.” 

Don, one of the guys working the show last night …

…. didn’t object to capturing the story of my performance with his cell phone. The story Don gave me is that he is going to send me the video of that performance soon.

My story right now is that I am exhausted from my early morning flight back to Boston, so I’ll have more stories tomorrow.  I look forward to the objects of your stories in the comments section, below.

I will now end this post with objective and subjective gratitude to Ron,  Irv Yalom (who was interviewed via Skype on the last day of the American Group Psychotherapy Association conference), the Westin Bonaventure Hotel,  Dynasty Typewriter, Don, the other people at Tomorrow! last night,  the city of Los Angeles, the L.A. Central Library, Ron’s and his girlfriend Shelly’s  Corgi-mix dog (an object of three of the photos above), every other person, animal, location, and object who helped me with today’s blogging story, and — I hope you don’t object to being last on this long list of thanks — YOU!

Day 2233: Life is like a camera

Yesterday, when I was having the time of my life visiting my friend Megan’s office, I captured this still life with my camera:

Life is like a camera.  Focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and if things don’t work out, take another shot.

Yesterday, I did focus on what is important, capture the good times, develop from the negatives, and take another shot at recording my first original song, “I Don’t Like You,” because my life-long friend Arnie suggested I change the camera from vertical to horizontal.

 

I don’t like negative people (even though they help me develop) but I do love both Arnie and Megan, and I captured the good times yesterday.

 

Do you think life is like a camera? Take a shot at a comment, below.

Thanks to Megan, Arnie, my son, my camera, and — of course! — YOU.

Day 2191: Personal 10 Best and Worst of 2018

Because I think New Year’s resolutions can be the worst, my best way of  marking the New Year is to compile my personal 10 Best and 10 Worst lists for the year.  What’s best about that ritual is that it allows me to look back over the past year in a useful way, getting some closure as we move into the brand new year.

Because I don’t want to dwell on the worst, I think it’s best that I share only my personal 10 Best of 2018 (in alphabetical order):

Aaron

Blogging

Friends

Groups

Health of those I love

Home near the ocean

Iceland/Edinburgh trip

Michael

Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy (inc. becoming President)

Original songs

There were so many bests this year,  the cats didn’t even make it on the list.  Although, maybe it’s best that I include them in the “Health of those I love” or in “Friends.”

Here are my best and worst photos from yesterday:

If you can’t read any of those photos, it’s best that you click on them to enlarge.

My son Aaron thinks that the first song I wrote is still my best.  Here it is:

I don’t know if I agree that “I Don’t Like You” is my best, but it’s certainly not my worst.

If you want to share your personal  best and/or worst of 2018, it’s best you do so in the comments section, below.

Every time I post, I do my best to thank all who help me blog every day and — of course! — YOU.  Happy New Year!

Day 2008: I’d rather be _________

How would you complete today’s blog title? Charlotte Beers  — “one of the few females to run a major ad agency’ —  has completed that sentence like so:

As one of the females to run a minor ad agency, I like to complete that sentence with whatever I am doing, in the moment.  Therefore, right now, I’d rather be blogging.  When I am facilitating groups, I sometimes tell the group members “There is nothing I’d rather be doing than this.”

As of today, July 1, 2018, I’d rather be president of the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy.

Right now, I’d rather be sharing all these photos I took yesterday:

 

Now I’d rather be introducing you to Ray Blair …

… who was selling Yamaha pianos at a South Shore mall yesterday. Ray used to be the Dean of a local college; now he’d rather be sharing his passion for music.  Yesterday we both shared our original music with each other.

Now, I’d rather be re-sharing my first original song here at WordPress:

Finally, I’d rather be expressing thanks to all who helped me create today’s blog post and — of course! — to YOU.