Day 3635: Avoiding

I feel like I’m always avoiding something, but at least I’m not avoiding admitting that.

Let’s see what other people have said about avoiding.

I’m not avoiding the fact that today is the 10th anniversary of the Sandy Hook massacre. I hope American politicians stop avoiding their duty to enact more common-sense gun legislation.

Now that I’ve erased many photos from my phone, I’m avoiding the problems I had sharing images yesterday. Do you see any avoiding here?

The Daily Bitch can be a master of avoiding.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “avoiding.”

There’s no avoiding gratitude in this blog, so thanks to all who helped me create this “avoiding” post, including YOU.

Day 3565: Anxious

Yesterday, after a day of working with very anxious people and feeling anxious myself about the U.S. midterm elections next month and some ongoing health challenges, I asked this question on Twitter:

I’ve noticed in group therapy that naming how anxious you are can help in several ways, including eliciting people’s strategies for reducing anxiety, like the 4-7-8 breathing method.

When I’m anxious, I often think of this quote, which helps me feel less anxious about being anxious:

“If you’re not anxious, you’re not paying attention.

— Unknown

.

Here’s what I find when I search for other anxious quotes:

.

Let’s see if any of my other images for today relate to being anxious.

.

Among other things, “Russian roulette” is making me anxious, so maybe I’ll refocus on National Do Something Nice Day.

And honestly, I’m a little anxious about working on Yom Kippur, but that’s my choice these days.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “anxious.”

.

Thanks to all who helped me create this “anxious” blog post, including YOU.

Day 3402: What I’ve Been Watching

Every evening, my husband Michael and I’ve been watching something on TV together. Lately, we’ve been watching “Better Call Saul,” “Top Chef,” and “Landscape Artist of the Year,” but all those got put on hold when Michael discovered “Cat Hospital” on Acorn TV, which is available to us this week only.

“Cat Hospital,” according to the website, shows “the cute, cuddly, and dramatic daily life at an Irish veterinary practice catering exclusively to cats.” I don’t know about you, but with all the dramatic daily life we’ve been experiencing, I need cute and cuddly wherever I can find it.

Before Michael and I watched “Cat Hospital” last night, my son Aaron and I met up with our old friend Tom Joyce, British comedian and mathematician extraordinaire who has appeared in this blog many times (including here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and especially here) and who is visiting Boston for the first time.

My son and I’ve been watching and running into the incredibly funny, smart, and kind Tom in Edinburgh many times over the last nine years. I’ve been watching in amazement as the coincidences with Tom have piled up — besides an appreciation for Aaron, Tom and I share many things: we both have congenital heart conditions, have pacemakers, had surgeries when we were young, and are now on Coumadin. I look forward to many years ahead where I’ll be watching Tom, Aaron, and I sharing more great times together.

All the other images in today’s blog, of course, also reflect what I’ve been watching:

I’ve been watching the Daily Bitch for many years and today I’ll be watching some people erasing the stigma associated with mental illness in my remote therapy groups.

Here’s a YouTube video of what I’ve been watching:

What have you been watching?

Thanks for watching many things with me today!

Day 3348: What’s trending

What’s “trending” according to the dictionary?

Every morning, when I use Google to search for “National Days,” a list of what’s trending automatically pops up. I don’t particularly want to know what’s trending, but here’s what’s trending today:

What’s trending, not surprisingly, includes

• more fears than facts,
• click-bait,
• major omissions (including Joe Biden’s State of the Union Address), and
• pancakes.

Is anything trending in my other images for today?

I’m thinking that on National Old Stuff Day, a lot of old stuff — old patterns, old habits, old beliefs, old fears, old perspectives — is trending. At the group therapy conference I’m attending, people are trying to trend towards new, healthier, and more authentic ways of being.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “what’s trending.”

What’s trending where you are?

Gratitude is always trending here, so thanks to all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

Day 3305: Projection

Projection, in psychology, is when people ascribe their own thoughts onto others.

My projection is that you might want some definition of “projection,” here and now.

That second definition describes projection as a behavior rather than as thoughts, which reflects people’s thinking that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are all interrelated.

I think there is a lot of projection going on these days, making it difficult for us to understand other people’s differing opinions and choices. I think the best we can do is to be aware of our own projections, so we can leave room for the fullness and complexity of other beings.

Do you see projection in any of my images for today?

.

In honor of National Thesaurus Day, here are synonyms for “projection.”

.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “projection.”

My final projection of this blog post is to assume that others are grateful, every day, for wonderful people like YOU.

Day 2979: Cheer the F*ck Up

In last night’s Coping and Healing group, as people discussed how to cheer the f*ck up during this f*cking pandemic, somebody shared this coloring book:

How do you cheer the f*ck up these days? People in my groups cheer the f*ck up by

• practicing mindfulness,
• venting,
• setting healthy boundaries,
• swearing,
• crying,
• laughing
• accepting all feelings, and
• realizing they are not alone.

Do any of today’s photos help you cheer the f*ck up?

After a long working day, I cheer the f*ck up with Michael’s cooking.

I find this when I search YouTube for “Cheer the f*ck up” …

… and this:

Gratitude helps me cheer the f*ck up, so thanks to all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

Day 2914: Religion

No matter what your opinions are about religion, ‘tis the season when religion is all around.

I have mixed feelings about religion. I grew up in an Orthodox Jewish household and have observed many benefits of religion, including life-organizing traditions, strong family and social connections, important moral codes, explanations for troubling questions, and sustenance and comfort during darkest days. I’ve also observed, throughout my life, how many people have been hurt and divided by religion.

Whatever our religions are, I think we can agree that people have very strong feelings about religion. My son, who grew up with a lapsed Orthodox Jewish mother and a lapsed Roman Catholic father, once upset a librarian in the children’s room of our local library by asking her what her religion was. This was around the time when Aaron was formulating that God might be a giant goose and we had noticed children’s books about religion in the library that day, so I think he was just honestly curious about her experience. He and I were both taken aback by her obvious discomfort and annoyance, so I quietly explained to him that religion could be a sensitive subject for some people.

Yesterday, my son, my ex-husband Leon, my husband Michael, and I were discussing another sensitive subject — politics — trying to make sense of Trump’s appeal to millions of people, wondering if religion played a part in that, also.

Do you see religion in today’s images?

If you had to answer any questions about religion, would you choose to answer the ones included in this blog post?

When I search YouTube for “religion,” this comes up:

So does this:

Ricky Gervais and Stephen Colbert — despite their differences about religion — share a great gratitude for existence and so do I. Thanks to all who helped me create this post about religion, including YOU!

Day 2866: Living with uncertainty

Living with uncertainty is very difficult, yet we do it every day. Certainty is often an illusion — a denial of mortality and the constant changes we are barely aware of.

Here and now, as we live with the uncertainties of the pandemic and the results of the USA election, the level of uncertainty is very difficult to live with. I’m certain how this uncertainty is affecting me, my family, my friends, and my patients:

• insomnia,
• changes in appetite,
• stress eating,
• anger,
• hopelessness,
• helplessness,
• worry,
• anxiety,
• depression,
• lack of motivation,
• a reversion to old unhelpful habits,
• withdrawal,
• fear,
• catastrophizing,
• blaming,
• all-or-nothing thinking,
• mind-reading, and
• the rest of the cognitive distortions (which I’m certain you can find here).

I’m uncertain how I and millions of other people are going to live with so much uncertainty in the days ahead.

In a sea of uncertainty, I’m certain that routines — like daily blogging — help. I’m certain I have new images to share but I’m uncertain exactly what they are.

I’m certain that I felt less uncertainty about the future when I took those photos than I’m feeling now.

Here‘s “The Courage to Live with Radical Uncertainty” — a Ted Talk given by “Compassion-Driven Oncologist Shekinah Elmore” in March 2020, right before our current age of uncertainty.

Here‘s “Coping with Uncertainty” by MindTools Videos:

What are your thoughts and feelings about living with uncertainty?

No matter how I’m living with uncertainty, I’m certainly grateful to all who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

Day 2844: Ghosts

According to Merriam Webster, a ghost is …

1: the seat of life or intelligence : SOUL
“give up the ghost”
2: a disembodied soul
especially : the soul of a dead person believed to be an inhabitant of the unseen world or to appear to the living in bodily likeness
3: SPIRIT, DEMON
4a: a faint shadowy trace
a ghost of a smile
b: the least bit
“not a ghost of a chance”
5: a false image in a photographic negative or on a television screen caused especially by reflection
6: one who ghostwrites
7: a red blood cell that has lost its hemoglobin

These days, it’s looking like the current U.S. President does not have a ghost of a chance to get a second term. Those of us who almost gave up the ghost four years ago when he WAS elected — despite polls saying he had not a ghost of a chance back then — are barely showing ghosts of smiles about the possible outcome.

I know that some of his supporters might call me a snowflake, but I have felt haunted since November, 2016, inhabiting this world like a ghost of my former self. When I look at the posts I’ve written since then, I see faint shadowy traces of the spirit I had before. However, it’s never been so bad that I’ve considered getting a ghostwriter for this blog.

Also, many of us feel haunted by ghosts that others just do not see.

What ghosts do you see in my photos from yesterday?

Among others, I see the ghosts of Oscar the cat, the people who have been killed by gun violence, trust in our leaders, and the normalcy of our lives before the pandemic.

Also, that last photo shows the ghost of a blog post I considered writing for today — “Day 2881: Grains of salt.” There are many ghosts of posts never written in my draft folder and in my mind, but those don’t haunt me, perhaps because so many posts have seen the light of day.

Here is “Ghosts” — the new song by the very-much-alive Bruce Springsteen:

Thanks to all my readers for not ghosting me over the years!

Day 2703: It’s hard to see

It’s hard to see …

• when this pandemic will end,
• so many people ignoring social distancing rules,
• all the deaths from COVID-19,
• relief from the suffering,
• all the social injustice,
• when you have tears in your eyes,
• all obstacles in our way,
• the beauty of each moment,
• into another’s heart,
• the inappropriate behaviors of world leaders,
• the state of the world,
• who is going to save us,
• what people are really thinking,
• what animals are really thinking,
• when you’re overwhelmed,
• when you’re looking away,
• when so many things are hidden,
• when there are so many different perspectives,
• when your glasses fog up, and
• when the world is foggy.

In case it’s hard to see what’s going on in this photo …

… all but one of the balloons at CVS yesterday were masked. I said to Michael, “There’s one in every crowd.”

It’s hard to see any song I like on YouTube called “It’s Hard to See,” so here is “It’s Hard to be Human” by Kina Grannis instead.

It’s not hard to see why people would write these comments about that song:

Emma Anderson
6 days ago
Kina Grannis: The singer to soothe the nation.

Jasmine Her
6 days ago
I feel this song so much. I had literally been through a horrible rut since quarantine began. I’m starting to finally feel okay, trying to learn and grow.

Tabitha S-O
6 days ago
Well, I’ve been crying for a bit listening to this but it’s ok to feel my feelings

It’s hard to see how so many people don’t know it’s ok to feel their feelings.

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you know it’s not hard to see gratitude here.