Day 3354: Safe Zones

As a group therapist, I think a lot about safe zones — how to make spaces safe enough for people to share their authentic selves and to heal.

Yesterday, I saw this right outside our door:

While this indicates the coming of a noisy zone, I’m still glad to see safe zones wherever they exist.

Today is the birthday of my oldest friend, Barbara, who helps make safe zones wherever she goes! Here’s a photo of Barbara and me in a safe zone before COVID:

Do you see safe zones in any of my other images for today?

I think it’s great that Barbara’s birthday is also International Women’s Day and National Oregon day, because she is the international woman who taught me the correct way to pronounce “Oregon.”

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “Safe Zones.”

I believe we are all hoping and praying for more safe zones throughout the world, here and now.

Please leave any comments about this “Safe Zones” post in the safe-enough zone below.

Thanks to all who makes zones safer, including you.

Day 3189: Unsolved mysteries

Everywhere I look, I see unsolved mysteries. I assume I am not alone, so I asked a question about that last night on Twitter.

People shared many unsolved mysteries, some relatively trivial and others profound.

Do you see unsolved mysteries in my other images for today?

It’s a unsolved mystery to me how they choose all those National Days.

It’s also an unsolved mystery why many good people’s self talk is so negative and critical.

If it’s a unsolved mystery to anyone why I was listening to “High Maintenance” by Gordon Goodwin’s Big Phat Band, here it is:

What’s an unsolved mystery to you?

If it’s a mystery why I end each blog post with thanks, that’s easily solved: I’m very grateful to all who visit here, including YOU!

Day 3187: Throwing out what no longer fits

Today’s Daily Bitch Calendar is about throwing out what no longer fits.

We all have things that no longer fit — unhelpful thoughts, toxic people, harsh self judgment, second guessing, crippling fears about the future, regrets about the past, hopelessness, body shame, etc. — and wouldn’t it be great to throw those out?

At the end of every therapy group, I invite people to throw out what no longer fits them in a “magic” waste paper basket, which either holds or reduces the power of whatever they throw away. Over the years, people have thrown away a ton of trash in these magic waste paper baskets.

Because all my groups are remote these days, here’s the “home version” of the magic waste paper basket:

Next to the magic waste paper basket is the magic hat, an addition recently suggested by a group member. Out of the magic hat, people can pull whatever they want, like self love, courage, acceptance, strength, and hope.

Do you see anything that fits the magic waste paper basket or the magic hat in my other images for today?

Yesterday, I threw my rough day into the magic waste paper basket and it fit in there just fine.

This is the first thing that comes up on YouTube when I search for “throwing away what doesn’t fit”:

This is the second thing:

What do you need to throw away that doesn’t fit?

Gratitude always fits, so thanks to all who help me create these daily blog posts, including YOU.

Day 3051: Comfort zones

In all the time zones of the USA, today is Mother’s Day, and I am comforted by good memories of my late mother. My mother tried her best to give comfort to others and created many comfort zones during her long life.

Here’s my mother creating a comfort zone for my late father when they were young…

and for my father and their two best friends many years later:

Memories of my mother are comfort zones for me. And as you can see, we both experienced zones near the ocean as comfort zones.

Trying to make Twitter more of a comfort zone, I posted this tweet a few minutes ago:

Today, I’m getting ready to travel for the first time since the pandemic created so many discomfort zones. I’m expecting some discomfort flying tomorrow to an unfamiliar place in a different time zone — Nashville.

Last night, I had discomforting dreams about singing my original songs in Nashville. One of them — “I Left the House Before I Felt Ready” — is about comfort and discomfort zones. Strangely, I woke up comforted after that dream, thinking, “Well, I doubt things will go THAT badly.”

Tweeting used to be out of my comfort zone, but no longer.

Do you see comfort zones in my photos from yesterday?

Here’s where my thoughts are going — to my debut performance of “I Left the House Before I Felt Ready” when I FORGOT my own words, which always throws me out of my comfort zone:

Sharing vulnerabilities can create comfort zones for yourself and others.

I just increased my comfort zone by booking my 6:30 AM Lyft to the airport for tomorrow.

Also, the person who created Mother’s Day for me just contacted me from Scotland, which really expanded my comfort zone.

Please make this blog more of a comfort zone by expressing your thoughts and feelings in the comments zone below.

Gratitude always increases my comfort zones, so thanks to all who help me get into the blogging zone every day, including YOU!

Day 3048: Too much

Yesterday, people in my Coping and Healing group said they were dealing with too much.

There was too much

• physical pain,
• emotional pain,
• stress,
• anxiety,
• uncertainty,
• loss,
• conflict,
• pressure,
• frustration,
• disappointment, and
• worry.

It didn’t take too much time for people in the group to understand, connect, and support each other.

People talked about death, a topic some find too much to take on. The person who had used the term “too much” early in the group asked the group this question: “How would you choose to die?” While a few people found that question too much to answer, several people said they would choose to die in their sleep. Because I have too much fear of heights, I wondered if my choice were to be leaping off a tremendous height, soaring all the way down, that might ease my acrophobia.

Sometimes I think I’m too much.

Let’s see if there’s too much in my photos today.

Because Jet Blue charges too much to check a bag, I’m not taking too much with me to Nashville.

Here’s “Too Much” by Marshmello x Imanbek featuring Usher.

Here’s “Too Much” from The Spice Girls:

Don’t worry about sharing too much in a comment, below.

There can never be too much gratitude, so thanks to all for visiting my blog today!

Day 2902: What are people thinking?

“What are people thinking?” is something I often ask in my Coping and Healing groups.

“What are people thinking?” is also something I am increasingly asking myself as I look at the news these days.

What are people thinking on Twitter recently?

What are people thinking about the photos I took yesterday?

When I search YouTube for “What are people thinking?” many of the videos focus on what rich people are thinking, which, to my way of thinking, explains a lot. Personally, I don’t care what rich people are thinking. I think people think about rich people way too much.

Here is “The Dangers of Thinking Too Much; And Thinking Too Little” (and what were people thinking punctuating that title like that?)

Here is what one person is thinking about that video:

I think that sometimes I may think too much about thinking too much.. I think.

What are people thinking about “Think” by Aretha Franklin?

What are people thinking about gratitude, here and now ?

Day 2880: Hands

Yesterday, when the wonderful hands of Mia from MiAlisa Salon were giving me a hands-down fabulous haircut, Mia told me about a beautiful way she has been self-soothing during these hard times. She holds her own hand.

Mia said that she held and held her mother’s hand in her hand while her mother was dying, and she misses her mother. Now, when she clasps her own two hands together, she feels powerfully comforted, settled, and anchored. Mia said holding hands with herself also helps her fall asleep.

I told Mia that I have been encouraging people in my Coping and Healing groups to give themselves hugs and that I will add clasping their own hands to the self-soothing repertoire.

And I am happy to report, this morning, that holding hands with myself helped me sleep through the night for the first time in months!

My sleep is also being helped by the growing certainty that my country will soon be in better hands. For the past four years, the USA has been in the hands of a toxic narcissist.

Speaking of hands, if anyone wants to see me play the ukulele with my own hands tomorrow evening, please sign up to be in the audience before the end of the day today using this link:

https://m.signupgenius.com/#!/showSignUp/9040b4eadaa23a2f49-jamn15

As people continue to count ballots by hand, I’ll be singing “The Impossible Wait” to the tune of “The Impossible Dream.”

I took all of these photos using my hands. Can you spot the hands of Mia and my husband Michael?

Here is “Hands — A Song for Orlando” from four years ago, showing how hands can hurt and heal.

If you leave a comment with your hands, I will respond with my hands and my heart.

In this time of social distancing, please wash your hands and wear a mask. My hands go out to yours in gratitude, here and now.

Day 2784: Antidepressants

As a clinical social worker, I cannot prescribe antidepressants, so I talk to people about other types of antidepressants, which I like to call “personal medicine.”

Do you see any antidepressants here?

For me, all those images are antidepressants, including that homemade, well-worn window sign that says “THANK YOU HEALTH CARE WORKERS.”

What are your antidepressants, these days?

Music is  an antidepressant for many.   Here are Blood, Sweat & Tears performing “Manic Depression” in 1980:

Comments are also antidepressants for me, so I look forward to taking that personal medicine later today.

As always, gratitude is an antidepressant, so thanks to all (including YOU) who help me combat depression with this daily blog!

 

Day 2756: Block Party

Yesterday, when my son Aaron and I were in Lexington, Massachusetts, we attended a block party.  Not the usual block party, but an Artwalk Block Party, in which store windows displayed painted and decorated blocks.

Speaking of nurturing creativity, Block Party is also a documentary film which follows comedian Dave Chappelle during the summer of 2004, ending in a block party he hosted in Brooklyn which featured musical artists including Erykah Badu, Mos Def,  Common, The Fugees, The Roots, and the Central State University Marching Band.  Here‘s Wyclef Jean asking members of the CSU marching band what they would do if they were President before he performed If I Was President”:

If any of them were President instead of our current one, I’d be celebrating with a block party.

Wanting to block our current President from getting a second term reminds me of this video from Republican Voters Against Trump:

That reminds me of my other photos from the same block in Lexington yesterday:

Aaron and I had our own socially distanced block party in Lexington yesterday, celebrating near this guy …

… with Cocoa Joel and Cake Batter ice cream from Rancatore’s.  I don’t have any photos of that celebration, but I do have these other photos from various blocks yesterday.

 

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After those walks around some blocks, Michael made us fish cakes with asparagus, turnips, and carrots.

Party!

I shall now invite you all to a commenting block party, below.

As always, I end each daily blog block party with gratitude for everyone who helps me party, including YOU.