Today’s Daily Bitch Calendar is about throwing out what no longer fits.
We all have things that no longer fit — unhelpful thoughts, toxic people, harsh self judgment, second guessing, crippling fears about the future, regrets about the past, hopelessness, body shame, etc. — and wouldn’t it be great to throw those out?
At the end of every therapy group, I invite people to throw out what no longer fits them in a “magic” waste paper basket, which either holds or reduces the power of whatever they throw away. Over the years, people have thrown away a ton of trash in these magic waste paper baskets.
Because all my groups are remote these days, here’s the “home version” of the magic waste paper basket:
Next to the magic waste paper basket is the magic hat, an addition recently suggested by a group member. Out of the magic hat, people can pull whatever they want, like self love, courage, acceptance, strength, and hope.
Do you see anything that fits the magic waste paper basket or the magic hat in my other images for today?
Yesterday, I threw my rough day into the magic waste paper basket and it fit in there just fine.
This is the first thing that comes up on YouTube when I search for “throwing away what doesn’t fit”:
In all the time zones of the USA, today is Mother’s Day, and I am comforted by good memories of my late mother. My mother tried her best to give comfort to others and created many comfort zones during her long life.
Here’s my mother creating a comfort zone for my late father when they were young…
and for my father and their two best friends many years later:
Memories of my mother are comfort zones for me. And as you can see, we both experienced zones near the ocean as comfort zones.
Trying to make Twitter more of a comfort zone, I posted this tweet a few minutes ago:
Today, I’m getting ready to travel for the first time since the pandemic created so many discomfort zones. I’m expecting some discomfort flying tomorrow to an unfamiliar place in a different time zone — Nashville.
Last night, I had discomforting dreams about singing my original songs in Nashville. One of them — “I Left the House Before I Felt Ready” — is about comfort and discomfort zones. Strangely, I woke up comforted after that dream, thinking, “Well, I doubt things will go THAT badly.”
Tweeting used to be out of my comfort zone, but no longer.
Do you see comfort zones in my photos from yesterday?
Here’s where my thoughts are going — to my debut performance of “I Left the House Before I Felt Ready” when I FORGOT my own words, which always throws me out of my comfort zone:
Sharing vulnerabilities can create comfort zones for yourself and others.
I just increased my comfort zone by booking my 6:30 AM Lyft to the airport for tomorrow.
Also, the person who created Mother’s Day for me just contacted me from Scotland, which really expanded my comfort zone.
Please make this blog more of a comfort zone by expressing your thoughts and feelings in the comments zone below.
Gratitude always increases my comfort zones, so thanks to all who help me get into the blogging zone every day, including YOU!
Yesterday, people in my Coping and Healing group said they were dealing with too much.
There was too much
It didn’t take too much time for people in the group to understand, connect, and support each other.
People talked about death, a topic some find too much to take on. The person who had used the term “too much” early in the group asked the group this question: “How would you choose to die?” While a few people found that question too much to answer, several people said they would choose to die in their sleep. Because I have too much fear of heights, I wondered if my choice were to be leaping off a tremendous height, soaring all the way down, that might ease my acrophobia.
Sometimes I think I’m too much.
Let’s see if there’s too much in my photos today.
Because Jet Blue charges too much to check a bag, I’m not taking too much with me to Nashville.
“What are people thinking?” is something I often ask in my Coping and Healing groups.
“What are people thinking?” is also something I am increasingly asking myself as I look at the news these days.
What are people thinking on Twitter recently?
What are people thinking about the photos I took yesterday?
When I search YouTube for “What are people thinking?” many of the videos focus on what rich people are thinking, which, to my way of thinking, explains a lot. Personally, I don’t care what rich people are thinking. I think people think about rich people way too much.
Here is “The Dangers of Thinking Too Much; And Thinking Too Little” (and what were people thinking punctuating that title like that?)
Here is what one person is thinking about that video:
I think that sometimes I may think too much about thinking too much.. I think.
Yesterday, when the wonderful hands of Mia from MiAlisa Salon were giving me a hands-down fabulous haircut, Mia told me about a beautiful way she has been self-soothing during these hard times. She holds her own hand.
Mia said that she held and held her mother’s hand in her hand while her mother was dying, and she misses her mother. Now, when she clasps her own two hands together, she feels powerfully comforted, settled, and anchored. Mia said holding hands with herself also helps her fall asleep.
I told Mia that I have been encouraging people in my Coping and Healing groups to give themselves hugs and that I will add clasping their own hands to the self-soothing repertoire.
And I am happy to report, this morning, that holding hands with myself helped me sleep through the night for the first time in months!
My sleep is also being helped by the growing certainty that my country will soon be in better hands. For the past four years, the USA has been in the hands of a toxic narcissist.
Speaking of hands, if anyone wants to see me play the ukulele with my own hands tomorrow evening, please sign up to be in the audience before the end of the day today using this link: