Posts Tagged With: fears about bothering others

Day 747: Oh bother!

Oh bother!

I am bothered, right now, by this: I was THIS CLOSE to publishing a post with random thoughts about “bother,” and it’s gone.

I shall do my best to let go of my bothered thoughts and feelings about that, and begin again.

I hope it won’t bother you, now, if I list some random thoughts about “bother”:

  1. Since I was a little girl, I’ve been bothered by fears about bothering other people.
  2. As human beings, we inevitably bother others and are bothered by them, at times.
  3. It bothers me that there was a third item on my list, but I can’t think of it now.

Oh, bother!

Yesterday morning, at cardiac rehab, I wondered if I was bothering people by

  1. making noise,
  2. taking up space,
  3. getting in the way of others, and
  4. expressing my needs.

Oh, bother!  When I wrote that second list in my almost-completed-but-botheringly-lost first draft of this bothersome post, that had three items, too.

I shall now stop bothering you (and myself) by comparing this post with that lost post (no matter how much I liked it). I also am letting go of any blame of myself, WordPress, or anything else, regarding that loss.

This post — although different from my late, lamented post in how it bothers the universe — will be good enough!

I shall now resume bothering you and my other readers with what happened at cardiac rehab, yesterday morning.

I let go of my fear of bothering others yesterday, by

  1. making noise,
  2. taking up space,
  3. getting in the way of others, and
  4. expressing my needs.

Did that bother other people at cardiac rehab?

When I asked Carla if I was bothering her, she made this bothered face:

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Even though it usually bothers me when people make non-smiley faces like that, I LOVE that face of Carla’s.

While Carla was taking my blood pressure (which didn’t bother me at all), we talked about our shared fears of bothering others. It bothers me that nice people like Carla are bothered by that, too.  Perhaps, now that we’ve bothered each other with that “bother” talk, Carla and I will be less bothered about bothering people, in the future.

Here are more photos I bothered to take yesterday, at cardiac rehab:

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That’s Penny the Pen on the elliptical and Danise on the chair. Danise was bothered, yesterday, by how her hair looked, even though we kept bothering her by telling her we thought it looked great.

Allow me to bother you with one more photo of Danise and hair:

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I hope this doesn’t bother Danise or Carla when they read this, but I prefer Danise’s hair, before.

BTBW,* Penny and I are bothered less by the elliptical, compared to any other exercise machine we’ve tried, so I ordered an elliptical last week, online. I won’t bother you with the details, besides these:

  1. the cost of the elliptical I bought didn’t bother my wallet too much,
  2. it’s PINK,
  3. it got great reviews (especially by people who are my height),
  4. it’s sitting in a box, upstairs, and
  5. I’ll be bothering my boyfriend Michael, over the long weekend, to help me put it together.

BTBW,* after cardiac rehab yesterday, I went to work, where I met with somebody who was bothered by Seasonal Affective Disorder and unhelpful thoughts (which we challenged, together).

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My sister Ellen unexpectedly showed up at my workplace, yesterday, which didn’t bother me at all. I told her about developments regarding my likely need for heart surgery, which — as I’ve been blogging about lately — bothers me (although less and less, as time goes on). I cried a little, and my sister’s hug — I believe —  bothered neither her nor me.

What else should I bother you with, today?

This tune by Thomas Dolby  (who never bothers me) has been bothering to show up in my earphones a lot lately:

(It never bothers me to find a great live version of a song on YouTube, like here.)

I’ll probably listen to that this weekend, when I bother to go Hyperactive on my new elliptical!

It won’t bother me, y’know, if you bother to leave a comment below.

Thanks to Carla, Danise, Penny, sister Ellen, boyfriend Michael (in advance, for bothering to help me with the elliptical), Thomas Dolby, all those who have ever bothered or have been bothered by others, and to you (of course!) for bothering to visit here, today.


* I shall bother you with one more thing I created today: BTBW means “By The Bothering Way.”

Categories: blogging, personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 47 Comments

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