What is there to celebrate on a day like today, when Putin is invading Ukraine and some people in the USA are supporting him?
I celebrate every day that I’m above ground, and I’m celebrating that my cardiologist, Dr. Salem (who I saw yesterday for my yearly echocardiogram and checkup) expects that I’ll be celebrating many more days in the future.
Because I can hold more than one feeling, I am celebrating my good fortune while also feeling sadness, anger, and fear about the invasion of Ukraine and about other terrible situations in our shared, precious world.
Can you see anything to celebrate in my photos for today?
There’s always something to celebrate, even when our hearts are breaking.
This is what I find when I search for “what is there to celebrate?” on YouTube.
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I celebrate my connection to you and thank you for being here, now.
Yesterday, on my birthday, many people were appreciating me and I was appreciating them. Right now, I’m appreciating today’s Daily Bitch Calendar.
I’m especially appreciating today’s Daily Bitch because, for weeks, I’ve been saying this in my therapy groups: “Good work not murdering anybody.” That’s my way of appreciating people for not acting out with pent-up anger and frustration, which most people have been feeling. I’ve been appreciating that my saying something like that usually gets (1) a laugh and (2) a sense of relief.
I’m appreciating that I danced to two favorite tunes (here and here on YouTube) with my husband Michael last night and I’m hoping my readers will be appreciating these songs too.
I’m appreciating that at age 68 I can still dance!
I’m still appreciating that my old friend and ex-business partner Jonathan suggested that I celebrate my birthday by listening to this commencement speech by David Foster Wallace that Jonathan has been appreciating for years:
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I’m appreciating that I get to share videos and photos with all of you every day.
I hope you are appreciating that I was too busy appreciating many things yesterday to take many photos.
Appreciating is the gift that keeps giving. I’ll be appreciating any comment you leave about appreciating others, yourself, or anything else.
As always, I’m appreciating all who help me create these daily blog posts, including YOU.
Yesterday, when I was in an elevator at Tufts Medical Center, overloaded with awareness AND worry about being out and about during the coronavirus pandemic, I saw this:
Even though this blog might have an overload of photos of Dr. Salem, here is another one from my appointment with him yesterday:
During the coronavirus pandemic, frontline health workers like Dr. Salem have to wear an overload of Personal Protective Equipment. Dr. Salem, who has an overload of cardiology students wanting to work with him, told one of them yesterday that he always schedules me for his last appointment of the day because we have an overload of things to talk about. Yesterday’s overloaded conversation included
Dr. Salem’s personal experience of working with Dr. Anthony Fauci (who is “a very smart and very good guy”),
discussions of my having had the coronavirus in March and possible lasting effects of that,
scheduling an echocardiogram to make sure that there is no permanent damage to my heart because of COVID-19,
the possibility of Dr. Salem and I writing a book together,
my stating that Dr. Salem and I have an overload of respect and love for each other,
Dr. Salem saying, “I think you’re doing great,” and
scheduling our next overloaded appointment for the day after my 68th birthday in February.
Dr. Salem said he was interviewed on Boston TV recently about his experiences working with Dr. Fauci, but I can’t find that interview in the overload of videos out there about Dr. Fauci.
Here’s an overload of other photos from yesterday:
Michael overloads our plates with nutritious food, ever day.
Here‘s “Overload” by Zinnia, which has been loaded over 7 million times on YouTube.
I’m looking forward to an overload of comments, below.
As always, I have an overload of gratitude to all, including YOU.
I forgot why I decided to call this post “I forgot.”
Wait! I remember.
I forgot to check the celebrity gossip yesterday. I also forgot to share yesterday’s Daily Bitch Calendar.
I forgot to mention that I think there are many delicate balances in life.
I forgot what that off-shore structure was for (if I ever knew), but I didn’t forget to take more photos of it yesterday for the amazing blogger Christopher Waldrop (who mentioned it in a comment about yesterday’s post).
I forgot most of the episodes of Breaking Bad because I binge-watched them so I could watch the final episode with Michael and Aaron.
I forgot that we bought a silver pen so that the star of Breaking Bad, Bryan Cranston, could sign that hat, but he forgot to come out and meet fans after a performance of the play All the Way in Cambridge before its Broadway opening. I forgot whether that was the only time he didn’t come out during the Cambridge run of the play, but I think so.
I forgot to feel sad about Oscar’s cancer yesterday, because he is doing so well.
I forgot why yesterday was an all-day “New Event” in my calendar.
Don’t forget: every day is an all-day new event.
I forgot whether the rest of my photos from yesterday fit today’s topic.
I forgot to ask a question from that book in my Coping and Healing group yesterday.
I forgot to take off those socks before my Coping and Healing group, but nobody could see them anyway.
I forgot to practice keyboards.
I forgot to read more of that excellent book about how the body remembers trauma.
I forgot how the ocean looks so different, every friggin’ day.
I forgot to remind you how awesome you are.
I almost forgot to share that photo of Michael’s latest cooking masterpiece. I forgot to eat crunchy snacks yesterday because Michael’s vegetables are so satisfyingly crunchy.
Everything can seem to be a certain way until it doesn’t.
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Everything looked fine about my attending a week-long conference in NYC the first week in March, until it wasn’t.
As of this morning, several people from the conference have tested positive for the coronavirus, including somebody I spent most of my time with there.
As soon as I noticed a low grade fever two days after I returned from the conference, I alerted my workplace and my doctors. Even though everything seemed fine at that point, I suspected it wasn’t.
And we believed there would be enough coronavirus tests available to test me, but there wasn’t.
There will be egregiously low access to testing in this country until there isn’t.
Because of all the scary reports of how the coronavirus might affect somebody like me (over 60 with a chronic heart issue), my immediate future is going to worry me until it doesn’t.
As I am home in self-quarantine with Michael and the cats, I am taking photos of what cheers me up until it doesn’t.
That was a tale of two kitties until it wasn’t.
I’m constantly monitoring my low grade fevers until they aren’t.
Pasta is still my favorite food until it isn’t.
This recent email exchange with my cardiologist strikes me as funny until it doesn’t:
Ann
There is nothing you can do now. If you spike a fever or get short of breath you should come to the hospital. As you know even if tested positive the plan would be to stay home.
Contact me if anything comes up.
Deeb
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Could you promise to save me a ventilator if I need one?
For old time’s sake,
Ann
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I’ll have them give you mine!
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Here‘s “It Hurts Until It Doesn’t”, a song by Mothers about a lost cat.
FRESH adjective
\ ˈfresh \
Definition of fresh
1a : having its original qualities unimpaired: such as
(1): full of or renewed in vigor : REFRESHED
rose fresh from a good night’s sleep
(2): not stale, sour, or decayed
fresh bread
(3): not faded
lessons fresh in her memory
(4): not worn or rumpled
a fresh white shirt
b: not altered by processing
fresh vegetables
2a: not salt
fresh water
b(1): free from taint : PURE
fresh air
(2)of wind : moderately strong
a fresh breeze
3a(1): experienced, made, or received newly or anew
form fresh friendships
(2): ADDITIONAL, ANOTHER
a fresh start
b: ORIGINAL, VIVID
a fresh portrayal
c: lacking experience : RAW
coming fresh to the job
— Helen Howe
d: just come or arrived
fresh from school
e: having the milk flow recently established
a fresh cow
4[ probably by folk etymology from German frech] : disposed to take liberties : IMPUDENT
don’t get fresh with me
5 slang : FASHIONABLE, COOL
I hope my other photos in today’s fresh post are fresh on so many levels.
Here‘s a song I remember that used the word “fresh”.
I’ll be looking for so many levels in your fresh comments, below.
Got a second? I’d like to tell you about yesterday’s appointment with my cardiologist, Dr. Salem (who is second to none). While I was waiting several seconds in the exam room for Dr. Salem, I took a second to snap this:
Got a second to hear about my conversation with Dr. Salem? Dr. Salem said he couldn’t be more pleased about how my heart is beating every second, as I begin my second year after my heart valve replacement surgery last September. I seconded that opinion.
Got a second to look at some more split-second photos?
I hope you have compassion for the beautiful teabag I encountered yesterday morning:
Do you believe that compassion will make you beautiful? Do you see beautiful compassion in any of my other photos from yesterday?
That is the beautifully compassionate Dr. Deeb Salem. When I asked him yesterday how he thought I was doing, his compassionate reply was, “I think you’re doing great.” Isn’t that beautiful?
Thanks to all the beautiful people who helped me create today’s post and to all my beautiful readers — of course! — for having the compassion to visit me, here and now.
If you do have worries, how might that affect me or other people?
Does anybody worry about how your worry might make other people worry?
Don’t worry, people! I’m now getting to the point of this post.
Lately, as I recover from open heart surgery, I have noticed other people’s worries about me. Other people’s worries result in worried questions, like “Are you sure you’re up to this?” “Are you doing too much?” “Are you taking on too many things, too quickly?”
I’m not worried about these other people’s worries. Instead, I appreciate their concern.
However, I do not take on their worries. I’ve got enough worries, of my own.
Today, I’ll be seeing my cardiologist, Dr. Deeb Salem. If he’s worried, THEN I’ll be worried.
Are other people worried about whether I have any photos to share today?
Don’t worry, people, I’m going to explain that last photo. Yesterday, a water main broke in the Longwood Medical Area of Boston. Other people besides me were very late to work. Did that worry me? No. Did it affect my sense of self worth? Don’t worry about that, either. I and many other people have been working on keeping our sense of self worth protected from everything that comes at us, including other people’s worries.
I hope people aren’t worrying about what YouTube video I’m going to share. When I search “Other people’s worries,” THIS comes up:
I’m not worried about those dogs. Are other people worried?
Other people who regularly read this blog are not worried, I’m sure, about whether I’m going to express gratitude to all who helped me create this post or to you — of course! — for being here, now.
I’m going to open my heart to you, here and now, and tell you about a dream I had last night. In that dream, my open-hearted cardiologist, Dr. Deeb Salem, told me that my new mechanical valve (which I got during open heart surgery in September) wasn’t working correctly and that they were going to have open up my heart again to fix it.
I wonder if that dream about reopening my heart was triggered by this image I saw yesterday morning, at the beginning of a blizzard here in Boston?
When I saw that opening-the-heart image yesterday morning on my way to work, it opened my heart in a good way. My heart opened up with appreciation for all those things that are key to opening my heart to love and to new possibilities. And when I opened my heart (and my iPhone camera) to other images during the day, I continued to think about that first open-hearted image.
As you open your heart to my other photos, do you see any keys to opening the heart in them?
Today, I’ll be opening my heart to patients on the first Friday I’ve worked since my Open Heart surgery in September. But first, I have to open my heart to cardiac rehab at 7:30 AM.
As usual, I end every post by opening my heart with gratitude to all who helped me create this post and to you — of course! — for opening your heart to me, today.