Posts Tagged With: Don Henley’s “The Heart of the Matter”

Day 977: Super Guilty

Yesterday, in a therapy group, people talked about feeling guilty AND super guilty.

Because I am guilty of having messy handwriting and super guilty of writing many themes on the white board during a therapy group, you might not be able to see “guilty” and “super guilty” in that photo.

I would be guilty of negligence if I did not tell you that the people in that therapy group were neither guilty nor super guilty of any crimes at all, even though they suffered from feelings of guilt and super guilt.

I would be super guilty of negligence if I did not explain that traumatic childhood experiences can cause people to feel guilty and super guilty, even though the experiences were NOT THEIR FAULT.

I was guilty of almost crying in group, yesterday,  as I listened to wonderful adults describe the on-going suffering caused years ago by awful parents and caretakers.

I am super guilty of often wanting to cry in therapy groups.

I am definitely guilty of taking all these photos recently, although I don’t feel super guilty about any of them:

I feel neither guilty not super guilty about sharing this music, with the word “forgiveness” prominently featured:

Don Henley is guilty of singing, with all his heart,  “The Heart of the Matter” at the charitable event Farm Aid  in 1990.

Please don’t feel guilty or super guilty about anything you want to express about this post.

Pure thanks to everybody who helped me create this and to you — of course! — for reading and (I hope) letting go of unnecessary guilt, as best you can.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , | 33 Comments

Day 823: _____ matters

How would you fill in that blank in the title of today’s post?

To me ….

… because it lifts my heart, no matter what.

Here are some other matters that mattered enough to me, yesterday, that I spied them with my little eye and snapped them with my little iPhone:


Before I started this blog back in 2013, I had no idea that what I see, matters.

One more matter, from my iPhone:

What is the matter with me, that I would take a photo of  a wastepaper basket in my office? How could THAT possibly matter to you or to anybody else ?

Matter of fact, that is  no ordinary wastepaper basket.  Rather, it’s one of the magic wastepaper baskets that matter-ialize whenever I do one of my therapy groups. At the end of each therapy group, I invite people who matter (and who often feel like they do NOT matter) to use the magic waste paper basket, like so:

If you throw something away in the magic wastepaper basket, it might disappear! And even if it DOES come back, it comes back smaller and less powerful.

I guess that matters to some people, because they throw away things like

  • worry,
  • fear,
  • self-criticism,
  • shame,
  • grudges, and
  • Kleenex.

What disposable matters might you throw away in that magic waste paper basket, right now?

It’s a matter of taste what music matters to each of us. Here’s “The Heart of the Matter,” by Don Henley:

The heart of the matter for me, here and now, is this: My heart seems to matter more than usual, these days, to me and to other people, too.

Does it matter to anybody that I wish my heart didn’t matter quite so much to so many heart doctors?

I matter-of-factly need to end this post earlier today than I usually do on a Friday. Why? Because there’s an 8 AM presentation at the hospital where I work, which might include some matters about my therapy groups. No matter what, the presentation is about improving patient care, which really, really matters.

One more thought that matters to me, in this mattering moment:

A doctor who matters a great deal to me told me, two days ago, that I’ll probably never feel as good and healthy as I used to. Even if that’s true,  even if I have a cardiac condition  that increasingly slows me down…..









I STILL MATTER, as much as ever.

What matters most to you, in today’s post?

It matters to me to thank everybody who mattered in my creating this post today and it matters to me —  especially! — to thank you, who matters a great a deal.

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , | 51 Comments

Blog at