Posts Tagged With: dealing with PTSD

Day 726: Weird

Isn’t it weird that on my 726th consecutive day of blogging, WordPress is telling me that I have 2012 followers OR 1651 followers, depending where I look?

Isn’t it weird that I am wondering if I should do a special blog post when my number of followers matches the number of the year we’re in, ESPECIALLY since (1) I don’t know which number of followers is true, real, or authentic and (2) the number of the year is about to change?

Isn’t it weird that months ago (when I had far fewer followers) I started the draft of a post titled “PTSD” that included all of these:

Possibly Terribly Serious Diagnosis

Post That Seems Depressing

Post That Starts Depressingly

Pets That Startle Dispproportionally

People That Seem Disdainful

Past Terrifyingly Sucky Doctors

Possibly Terrifying Sleep Deprivation

… and I haven’t published it yet?

Isn’t it weird that I decided to go to work, yesterday, on the day after Christmas,  even though I work at a large Boston hospital, and hospitals are notoriously empty of staff during the holiday season (as evidenced by this photo I snapped on my way to the cafeteria during lunchtime yesterday)? IMG_4187

Isn’t it weird that I made the choice, before work yesterday, to go to cardiac rehab (for reasons relating to my unusual heart),  on the day after Christmas?

Isn’t it weird that Carla and Kathy at cardiac rehabIMG_4173

decided to go into work yesterday even though it was the day after Christmas and their co-worker Danise had made the choice to stay home with her family? Isn’t it especially weird that they look so happy, even though I told them that the title of today’s post was going to be “Weird”?

Isn’t it weird that Carla wrote things on my work-out reminder


that have previously appeared in this blog here and here? And isn’t it weird that I took four shots of that card yesterday, and had trouble deciding which photo to use?

Isn’t it weird that Kathy made this face yesterday


when she was describing how sad and empathic she was about the FEELINGS of Christmas trees, after seeing a bunch of unsold ones earlier that morning, on the day after Christmas?

Isn’t it weird that I took all these other photos on the day after Christmas, even before I made it to cardiac rehab in the morning?

IMG_4163 IMG_4164 IMG_4165 IMG_4166 IMG_4167 IMG_4168 IMG_4169 IMG_4170IMG_4172

Isn’t it weird that I am now choosing to show you the very first photo I took yesterday morning — after showing you all those other ones — even though this photo is the only one that directly relates to yesterday’s post?


Isn’t it weird that I never explained this photo from yesterday’s post?


Isn’t it weird that I heard the studio version of the Pat Metheny Group‘s “The Way Up — Part 3” as I walked by this on my way to work, after cardiac rehab?IMG_4184

(weird, live version of “The Way Up — Part 3”  found here on YouTube)

Isn’t it weird that I didn’t tell you about my hearing “The Way Up — Part 3” at the beginning of this post, so you could have started listening to it way before now?

Isn’t it weird that I’m now remembering how when The Way Up came out, a decade ago, I found out, at the last minute, that the Pat Metheny Group was touring and playing that whole wonderful album, and I was upset that I had missed the performance in Boston, but my then-manager, named Michael, pointed out that I could still see the concert if I drove to Connecticut that night, and I found a ticket for the concert and a place to stay, left work early and drove there by myself, and it’s still one of my best memories of a concert, ever?

Isn’t it weird that I just remembered all that, especially since Carla and Kathy were talking at cardiac rehab yesterday morning about how they don’t mind going to movies or to the beach by themselves, even though other people in their lives think that’s weird?

Isn’t it weird that I took all these other photos yesterday?

IMG_4192 IMG_4194 IMG_4197 IMG_4199 IMG_4201 IMG_4202 IMG_4203 IMG_4204 IMG_4207 IMG_4208 IMG_4210 IMG_4211 IMG_4212 IMG_4213 IMG_4214

Isn’t it weird that I’m crying a little, as I’m writing this part of the post, especially since I’m about to show you this great photo I took at Whole Foods Market last night, when I was feeling happy with my boyfriend Michael?


Brenda, our cashier at Whole Foods last night, told us about her Mr. Spock button and her experiences  meeting most of the cast members of Star Trek: The Original Series (which I love and have written about here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here).

Maybe it’s not so weird that I was crying a little there, since:

  • writing this post has brought up all sorts of different memories for me,
  • listening to music I love moves me in many different ways,
  •  Kathy’s sadness about all those lonely Christmas trees may have affected me,
  • there was some very sad news yesterday, at work, about somebody losing a child,
  • and there are photos of lots of kind people in this post and — as I wrote about in 2013 — Kindness Can Make Me Cry, Even Harder.

Isn’t it weird that I haven’t included any photos of any of our cats, yet?


Isn’t it weird that Harley, who is usually so shy, is sitting on the sofa with me while I’m writing this?  And isn’t it weird that there’s a calculator there, even though I didn’t need it to write this post?

What do you find weird about this post?  And what does the word “weird” mean to you?

Many weird thanks to all the weird people everywhere who helped me write this post today and to all those who are reading it — weirdly or non-weirdly — including YOU.

Categories: inspiration, Nostalgia, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , | 51 Comments

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