Yesterday, one of my friends who works where I park my car on weekdays took my ukulele and posed while holding it, like so:
That’s the topic of my next blog post, I thought — What we’re holding. So I held my iPhone while I took photos of what others were holding, throughout the day.
All day, I was holding sadness and concern for a beloved group therapist and teacher with a serious illness. What I didn’t know, while I was holding that card, was that she had already passed away.
What we’re holding — even if we don’t show it — includes loss, love, pain, and so much more.
Whatever you’re holding now, dear reader, feel free to share it in a comment below.
Yesterday morning, before I drove to the farewell event of my 45th college reunion, I took a photo of this temporary parking permit in my car.
I have a temporary smile, here and now, thinking that The President and Fellows of Harvard College assumed no responsibility for damages to my little yellow car.
I took a photo of that temporary parking permit because of my “deep sense of mortality” (described in my speech at my reunion the day before), which makes me realize that everything is temporary.
On my way to the reunion brunch, I noticed a temporary phenomenon that I had never seen before, so I temporarily parked my car so I could capture it on my phone.
I loved that temporary gathering of more snowy egrets than I had ever seen together before.
Then, I got back in my car, which I had temporarily parked at the Kennedy Center.
I wonder if you had a temporary assumption about what Kennedy Center that was.
Then, my classmates and I met for some temporary conversation at a beautiful home in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
I spent most of that temporary time there hanging out with people I love, because there’s no telling when we’ll see each other again.
On my ride home, I received news that another beloved friend of mine had died in the month of September. I wrote about my dear and long-time friend Tony in this post from May, 2016 — Day 1219: Tone.
As I said in my temporary speech at my college reunion, “Life is too precious to spend on things I don’t love.” I’m glad that when I heard that Tony had the same cancer that killed Senator John McCain and my friend Michelle last year, I bought one of his books and sent him a card telling him I was reading it and how much I loved him.
Last night, when Michael and I were doing our temporary Sunday shopping routine at our local supermarket, I deliberately took photos of sympathy cards to comfort myself.
I now get comfort from sharing all these contemporary photos with you:
Even though life on this earth is temporary, certain things linger, like the distinct laughs of my late friends Hillel and Tony, who both passed away this September. I can easily imagine both of their wonderful laughs, here and now.
In honor of Tony, who played guitar and loved music, I’m posting a tune I associate with him, at the end of this post.
I’m hoping I can get temporary coverage today at work so I can attend one of the memorial events for my late, great friend Tony today.
Thanks to all those who helped me temporarily forget my grief by creating this post and — of course! — thanks to you.
telling everybody about the healing power of groups, and
taking photos of what I see around me.
I can’t stop, won’t stop posting videos of my performances even though I have — OMG! — only 18 subscribers to my YouTube channel. Here’s the latest video:
Can’t stop, won’t stop singing about triggers until all the worst triggers go away.
Can’t stop, won’t stop expressing gratitude to all who help me keep going every day, including YOU.
Yesterday, somebody in a “Coping and Healing” group suggested that we share thoughts and feelings about “It’s okay,” especially since the week before we had focused on “It’s NOT okay.”
I hope it’s okay that I share what I wrote in that group:
It’s okay that my “It’s okay!” poem is on its side.
Here are more photos residing on my okay iPhone:
It’s okay that I missed last night’s spectacular sunset, because I was facilitating the Coping and Healing group. Yes, somebody else took that much-more-than-okay last photo.
Yesterday, when I was letting it out at cardiac rehab, Danise let it out, like so:
Danise — who helps people, like me, who are recovering from cardiac surgeries let it out on exercise machines and in other healing ways — let it out by telling me about a dream she’d had the night before. After the TV coverage let it out that Donald Trump was on his way to winning the U.S. presidential election, Danise dreamed she found Hillary Clinton in her home flipping things over (as Danise is demonstrating, above). In her dream, Danise said to Hillary, “Let it out, girl! ”
After I let it out with Danise and others at cardiac rehab, I went home where I let it out with our two cats. I also let it out by turning on the TV, where I was privileged to witness Hillary Clinton letting it out with her concession speech.
I have to let it out with you, my dear readers, that when I typed that previous sentence, I erroneously wrote “acceptance” rather than “concession.” As my boyfriend Michael and I have been letting it out with each other after the shock of the election result, we’ve discussed how the stages of grief include denial.
Speaking of the stages of grief, my son Aaron sent me these messages, yesterday, from Scotland:
very very odd
it feels like someone died
Michael, Aaron, and I then let it out with each other during two extended FaceTime sessions.
On Facebook yesterday, I let it out by posting quotes by H.L. Mencken, including these:
“On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart’s desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.”
“The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. ”
“For every complex problem there is an answer that is clear, simple, and wrong.”
I also believe that letting it out — where “it” includes all your feelings — is therapeutic. I will let it out, now, that if I didn’t believe that, I would not have become a psychotherapist nor would I have started this daily blog.
One more way I let it out on Facebook the day after the U.S. election:
I made it through open heart surgery for this?
I think it’s time to let it out by including all my other photos from yesterday:
If you have thoughts or feelings about this post, please let it out in a comment, below.
I hope I let it out how grateful I am to all who help me let it out in this daily blog and to you — of course! — for being with me as I let it out, here and now.
Yesterday, during a therapy session. I wrote this on my office whiteboard:
I wrote that for somebody who’s been having some very painful and stubbornly unshakable worries about the future. Recognizing that as a helpful antidote for the cognitive distortion of catastrophizing, she took a picture of it, so she could look at it whenever the negative, frightening thinking came back.
As you can see, I took a picture of it also, to help with my own automatic, fortune-telling thoughts.
I think that picture has been working, because I do believe that I’m going to be okay … today, tomorrow, and the next day.
Do you believe that, now, for yourself?
Here are some other things I believe that helped me (and perhaps others) to be okay, yesterday:
Okay! I do love adventure, but I don’t think I should howl at this particular moment. I believe that howling is okay, but it’s extremely early in the morning, right now.
Believe that I’m going to be okay today at a conference on medical practice innovation in Boston (and afterwards, at one of my therapy groups at work).
Before I leave, is it okay if I share some “Believe that you’re going to be okay” music?
I believe that you’re going to be okay with one of these “Believe” songs.