Hundreds of posts ago, I wrote Day 75: Things that make me go _____.” That post included things that make me go
(image found here)
and things that make me go
(image found here)
Absent from that emotionally oriented post were things that make me go “grrrrr.”
Let’s remedy that now, shall we?
Things That Make Me Go “Grrrrrr”
1. Unexpected, seemingly arbitrary changes.
I like to think of myself as somebody who can welcome and embrace change. However, if a change is
- forced upon me and
- worsens my experience,
my response is
(Image found here)
Recent examples of this? New, unexpected versions of Spotify (my choice for playing music on my iPhone) and WordPress (my choice for blogging), which have disoriented me and worsened my experience. As a result, I’ve needed to take extra time and care, constructing work-arounds to get my musical and blogging needs met.
2. Broken promises (especially unsolicited ones).
Promises made + promises unfulfilled = disappointment
Personally, I especially go
(image found here)
…. if the promise was something I did not ask for. My growls get fiercer and louder if somebody elicits a need in me, then leaves me hanging.
I’ll give you an example. Last year, somebody at work volunteered to make me a CD of Kurt Elling tunes, because we both like that singer. This person, who was just an acquaintance, insisted they wanted to do it. And they never did. And that made me go
to a rather puzzling degree.
I don’t know why I had that reaction. I could have framed the situation in a more helpful way, like
- appreciating the person’s wish to connect,
- recognizing that other things got in the way, and
- letting it go.
But, for a long time, I didn’t. Instead, I kept growling (instead of growing).
Recently, I had the same experience — unsolicited disappointment — on a grander scale. And this morning, I’m still growling.
I’m not sure why I get so upset when the unfulfilled promise is something initiated by somebody else.
It might be related to my having trouble asking for what I need. I mean, it’s bad enough asking for something and then not getting it. The last thing I want, apparently, is somebody creating a need I didn’t even know I had, and then dashing THAT, too.
Yesterday, I had a jam-packed, pinpoint-timing day, where I
- did a full morning of work (individual and group therapy),
- went to a hospital to get an IV of antibiotics,
- got a filling fixed and a teeth cleaning at the dentist, and
- drove my son to a play rehearsal
and all before 5 PM!
I got all these things done, in reasonable time, despite
- pre-July 4th preparations in Boston, affecting traffic and
- no parking spaces, due to the filming of a movie starring
(image found here).
Instead of focusing on all the successes of that day, I kept thinking about one thing: While I was eating the food they gave me at the IV infusion center
… I spilled some salad dressing on my skirt.
I realize this, now. Instead of being angry at my own carelessness, and picturing that stain for the rest of the day, I could have focused on a more helpful image, from around the same time:
That’s Angela, who was my IV nurse yesterday. When I admired her very cool snake earrings, she told me that snakes
- have been her totem animal, since she was 10 years old,
- connect her with all the mother goddesses of the world (since they all carry snakes),
- indicate change,
- suddenly showed up, in a group of 7, when her husband was very ill, and
- have nested in every house she’s lived in.
Angela, if you’re reading this, thanks for the snakes (and for the IV, too). They all helped, yesterday.
Okay! One more thing that makes me go “grrrrrrr” (and hiss) ….
4. Not getting enough sleep or food.
Last night, I woke up at 3:30 AM. My thoughts and feelings went many places, including here:
As a result, I had trouble falling back asleep.
Lack of sleep and food can definitely increase anger, don’t you think? I can’t do anything about the sleep, right now, but I can help myself to some leftovers from Tuesday’s dinner (courtesy of bf Michael):
Somehow, I’m feeling much better than I did when I started this post.
Before I end, I’d like to continue the feel-good trend, by asking you two fun questions: Which photo in this post is your favorite? Which one do you think is mine?
Thanks to Felix the cat, Johnny Depp the actor, Angela the IV nurse, and Michael the boyfriend; to tigers, snakes, and other fierce creatures; to those who cry, laugh, and have all their feelings; and to you — of course! — for whatever sounds you’re making today.