Day 3070: How are you coping?

As usual, I am coping by connecting with others, so I just posted this on Twitter:

I’m also coping by creating safe spaces for group work, walking near the water, balancing my needs with others’ needs, taking photos, sharing images on social media, and — of course! — blogging. Do you see coping in my other images for today?

I am also coping by sharing the weird.

This is the first thing that shows up when I search for “How are you coping?” on YouTube:

Some coping strategies are timeless and universal.

How are you coping, my friends?

As always, I am coping by expressing gratitude, so thanks to all who are coping as best they can, including YOU!

Day 2650: Doing new things

During times like these, we’re all doing new things.  Doing new things can be

• scary,
• intimidating,
• frustrating,
• exciting,
• challenging,
• annoying,
• exhausting, and
• enlightening.

My new photos show us doing new things, including …

… using a beloved book in the remote versions of my Coping and Healing groups,

… trying a new fish we’ve never eaten before,

… Harley practicing LESS social distancing, and

… all of us here working hard to forgive ourselves and others.

I just learned new things about the Faroe Islands when I searched YouTube for “social distancing music” and found people doing new things here:

 

If you’ve never left a comment before, consider doing that new thing, here and now.

It also helps to do familiar things, like my expressing gratitude for all those who help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

 

Day 1180: Alone

If you have thoughts and feelings about being alone, you are not alone.

“Alone” is a very common topic and important issue for people. That’s why I’ve written several  previous posts with the word “alone” in the title:

Day 163:  Alone in the presence of others

Day 247: No one is alone

Day 289:  Sometimes, it just helps to know you’re not alone

Day 839: Never worry alone

Day 908:  You are not alone

Day 1028: Can’t do it alone

Last night in a therapy group, nobody was alone — everybody wanted to focus on the topic of being alone.

I, alone, wrote this during the group:

If you have trouble reading that, I’m sure you’re not alone. It says

In ways we are all alone even when we are with others.

In ways we are connected with others even when we are alone.

I did not take that photo, alone. Here are more photos I took yesterday:

I’m going to explain that last photo, alone. I wrote that on my office’s lone whiteboard to show somebody they weren’t alone in eating things that aren’t good for them.

When you think of being alone, what song comes to mind?  Am I alone in thinking of this one?

I’m sure I’m not alone in wanting to know I’m not alone today.  You can do your part by leaving a comment, below.

Thanks!

---

When I first published this post alone, a couple of hours ago, I forgot to say that many of us feel more alone today because of the passing of brilliant comedian Garry Shandling.  Here’s Conan O’Brien, not alone in missing this man:

Day 1066: Other people

Other people are on my mind right now, because:

• in therapy, people talk a lot about what other people think and do,
• other people are going to be judging my voice in February, when I try out for the TV show “The Voice,”
• other people are reading this blog today (including you),
• I am facilitating a therapy group this morning with eleven other people,
• I am visiting Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts this afternoon,  to see paintings by Vermeer, Rembrandt, and other people, and
• other people have recently been labeling me “edgy,” “quirky,” “attention-starved,” “caring,”  “looking exactly like your son Aaron,” and “looking nothing like your son Aaron.”

Why do we spend so much time wondering what other people might think and might do?

After all, other people are just people (like me and like you).

If other people want to read other posts about other people, this other person suggests other people look here, here, here, here, here, here,  and here.

Other people (other than you) are responsible for these other photos:

 

Now I’m wondering what other people think of those other photos.

Other thoughts, other people?

One other sentence:  Thanks to other people, everywhere, for visiting this other person today.

Day 908: You are not alone

You are not alone

Worth repeating.

You are not alone

Difficult believing.

You are not alone

Crucial to remember.

You are not alone.

Powerful and healing.

You are not alone

Challenges old suffering.

You are not alone

Group therapy’s  lesson.

You are not alone

Attention will perceive it.

You are not alone

Do you see it in these photos?

                              

        

No matter what you think, feel, or express,

You are not alone.

“You’ll Never Walk Alone” is being sung by the Liverpool F.C. and 95,000 other people in Australia, here on YouTube.

Never-alone thanks to all who helped non-alone me create this post and not-alone thanks to you,  who are not alone.

Day 806: Something to remind you

Here’s something to remind you that Spring is coming:

Here’s lots of  freaking data to remind us that  Spring isn’t here, yet:

 

I need something to remind me that

• The path may be icy, but I have the skills and the knowledge to move forward,
•  I can’t please everybody on the way,
• I do not have to re-prove my worth every day,
• I can look up to others and others can look up to me,
• I can be on the same level as others, look them in the eye, and demand to be heard,
• Losing things is not the same as losing people,
• Hearts beat a limited number of times, which reminds me to treasure every heartbeat,
• We cannot control what others say or do, but we have choices of how to react,
• Carrots work better than sticks to motivate ourselves and others,
• Inevitably, we make mistakes, hurt others’ feelings, misunderstand, and are misunderstood,
• Expecting the worst doesn’t contribute to a better outcome,
• Worry interferes with action and connection with others,
• Direct, authentic, and open communication helps relationships,
• Being messy is not a sin,
• All feelings are valid,
• Fear can be an automatic, self-perpetuating habit,
• People have the ability to change,
• Lists are always incomplete, and
• Everybody has unique gifts to share.

Speaking of unique gifts, somebody left this gift for me at work yesterday:

I believe that’s a double-edged sword.

That sword, now between a magic wand and a three-hole punch,  is something else to remind me to teach, learn, and hope.

Today’s date, March 17, is something to remind me of someone committing suicide over 10 years ago.  I remind myself: We can’t control what others do. We can only do our best to show up, be gentle, and tell the truth, here and now. 

Here’s something that reminded me, musically, yesterday:

I’ll remind you that “Something to Remind You” by the Pat Metheny Group can be found on YouTube.

What has this post reminded  you of? What somethings are reminders for you?

I don’t need to be reminded to thank everyone who inspired and helped me to write this post today, including you.

Day 478: Personal Medicine, Revisited

Waaaaay back on Day 29, I wrote a post called “Personal Medicine.”

I do think that post is worth visiting and checking out — even though I wrote it early in my blogging journey and have probably developed immeasurable blogging skills, wisdom, and other improvements since then.

Although, perhaps not.

Why don’t you see for yourself, people, and visit that old, old post, by clicking on that link, above?

Hmmmm.

You know what?  Sometimes, I have zero faith that people will do what I request.  Even when I express a need or request REALLY CLEARLY, like

• Link to that post, please, or
• Do whatever else for me, please, which involves a little bit of effort  …

…. there’s a part of me that thinks:

That’s not going to happen. People are (1) too busy and (2) my request doesn’t matter enough.

Whoa!  This is NOT what I expected to be writing about, this morning.

However, I can’t say I am surprised.

When I am ill and less able to do everything for myself, I need to ask for more assistance and help. And that is difficult for me to do.

Now, why would that be so difficult, for me?  I was ill, quite  a bit, when I was growing up with a congenital* heart condition, and did need some help and support, in many areas.

Hmmm. Maybe I have trouble asking for help because … I’ve been healthy a lot, too, in my life, and I’ve always liked THAT better.  And when I was healthy, I COULD do things for myself.

Also, I do live in a culture,  my dear readers,  that values independence and a “can-do” attitude. Even though I KNOW (and tell others) that human beings can NOT do things on their own, and that it’s actually a STRENGTH to ask for help …

… it’s still difficult for me to do that.

That would be Ye Olde Double Standard, which I’ve written about, many times, in this here blog (including yesterday, actually).

Yes, it’s difficult for me to ask for help, for a “favor” of any kind,  even though I realize that is Personal Medicine — healthy — for other people. It’s difficult for me to ask for help, even if it’s something that takes minimum effort for the other person, such as my request to you, earlier in this post.

Remember that request? It was “please go visit a post I wrote before, because I think it has something of value.”

Hmmm. I’m realizing, now, that there is something else “loaded” in that request of mine to you, this morning. That is, I am saying:

I wrote something of value.  My thoughts are valuable. They are worth that additional effort of yours, to click on my link.

Again, these thoughts are NOT what I expected to write about today.

But it all feels like personal medicine, to me, here and now.

So the question remains: what DID I expect to write about today?

I expected to report to my readers about some of my Personal Medicine from yesterday, as I continue to deal with and heal from pneumonia.

I am happy to report that those medicines did NOT include antibiotics, but rather:

1. A visit from my friend, Barbara,
2. Watching episodes of Seinfeld with my 16-year-old son (who is seeing them for the first time … what fun!),
3. A delicious meal cooked by Michael (which I didn’t photograph, because I was too interested in eating it … I guess my appetite is returning!), and
4. A brief visit to the Boston Public Garden, during my favorite season and at one of my favorite times of the day.

Here are some of my attempts to capture the magic and personal medicine of Springtime in Boston, yesterday evening:

Okay! As I was looking for those photos from last evening, I did some pictorial time-traveling, right then.

And to end this post, I would like to share two of those old(er) pictures I just encountered.

#1 – I took this photo, almost exactly a year ago:

(I first used that photo here)

#2 – Here’s a photo taken of me (and my older sister) many years ago, before I developed a lot of skills, wisdom, and other improvements:

I suspect I had a similar expression on my face, yesterday evening.

Thanks to beautiful Boston, to children of all ages, to those who are developing skills and wisdom as they age, to people who are doing their best in asking for (and providing) help, to those who clicked and did NOT click on that friggin’ link to my previous post, and to you — of course! — for being part of my personal medicine, today.

---

* “Congenital” means that I was born that way.