Day 2720: Worrying about everything

Three hundred and ninety-two days ago (don’t worry, I’m counting), I wrote a post titled “A Year of No Worry.” Recently, I reminded Michael about our shared pledge to not worry for a year, starting on April 10, 2019.  We laughed and noted how we had gone from worrying about nothing to worrying about everything.

Last night, Michael noticed that I was worrying about everything even harder than usual. So he told me he was making my favorite childhood comfort food, tuna noodle casserole, to help get me through the next few difficult days. (In case you’re worrying about tuna noodle casserole, I shall remind you that Michael is an accomplished chef.) Michael didn’t seem worried when I responded to his news by crying — he knows that kindness can make me cry (as well as cruelty).

Yes, I’m worrying about everything, including these recent photos.

I can NOT go from worrying about everything to not caring about anything in a matter of seconds, but I’m actually not worrying about that.

Hmmmm. I guess I am not worrying about EVERYTHING.

Here’s Why We Worry All the Time and How to Cope, from The School of Life.

Once I heard that video quote Donald Winnicott, I stopped worrying about sharing that here. Here’s the quote:

The catastrophe you fear will happen has in fact already happened.

I’m worrying about how to share quotes from Marcus Aurelius, who governed during a terrible pandemic. Here‘s a good enough solution:

I’m worrying about how many quotes use “man” when they mean “human,” but I know they apply to women too.

I hope you’re not worrying about leaving a comment and I am NOT worrying about expressing my gratitude, here and now.

Day 2216: Nourishment

Here’s hoping you get some nourishment from today’s post.

When people focus on food in my therapy groups, I invite them to think about nourishment. And people have been talking about food A LOT lately, especially comfort and junk food. In group, we’ve been discussing how the body craves that kind of nourishment during difficult times, including cold, dark, and stormy weather.

Last night, the group members decided to write down their thoughts and feelings about nourishment.  Here’s what I shared about nourishment:

Here’s some more nourishment I found around me yesterday:

Here‘s what comes up on YouTube for “nourishment music.”

Any comments about nourishment would be nourishment, for me.

Here’s another daily source of nourishment: gratitude.

Day 361: That whole bad day/good day thing, again

Approximately 100 days ago, I blogged about Bad Day/Good Day.

I think that was a good post, if I do say so myself.  Not bad at all.  And if you click on the link, and travel back in time and space to go there, I think you’ll enjoy it. I know I learned a lot, from the experience of living that day and writing about it, so you might learn something, too.

But no pressure to do that.

So what did I want to tell you today, now that I’ve completed that past-oriented introduction? I wanted to journey back into the past, again  — although not so far —  by writing about yesterday.

Yesterday, my dear readers, was a challenging day.  And “challenging,” sometimes, is a euphemism for “bad.”

What made my day challenging?

• It was the day after Christmas. I really don’t like working on the day after Christmas. Somehow, I had forgotten that. (Note to self: remember, next year, that you don’t like working on the day after Christmas.)*
• A lot of people didn’t show up. The corridors, throughout the hospital where I work, were eerily empty. And this reminded me, big time, of being stuck in the hospital, when I was a kid, during Christmas time. And even though I didn’t celebrate Christmas then, that really, really sucked.
• Around 3 PM**, I got a wicked craving for comfort food.  And I knew exactly what I wanted: Macaroni and cheese. I wanted that so badly, visions of it were dancing in my head:

***

****

*****

Now, where was I?   Oh yes, reasons why my day sucked, yesterday.

Ooops! My language changed there, didn’t it?  I think I need something to eat.

I’m back!  So, where was I? Oh yes, reasons why my day was challenging, yesterday. I will end that list with this:

• There was no macaroni and cheese, to be found.

However, my day got better, as days often do.  What helped make it better?

• Somebody showed up for my group last night.
• I learned a lot.

And, while I don’t like to fortune-tell — because who knows what today will bring — I’m pretty sure that today will turn out all right, too.

Why?

Because the hospital cafeteria is serving this:

******

Yippee!

Thanks to people who love macaroni and cheese, and — according to my old student and current Facebook friend, Chris — that includes everybody. But just in case it doesn’t,  thanks to you, for visiting today.

 ___________________________________________

* Chances are, I won’t remember this, unless I read my own blog posts.

** I wanted to check my memory on the timing here, and I thought I could do that easily, because I tweeted about this yearning yesterday. However, Facebook is telling me this happened 15 hours ago and Twitter is telling me it happened 16 hours ago. Arrrghhh. So, never mind.

*** That image lives here.

**** That image lives here, and I can’t tell you how much it pleases me that there is Clip Art for macaroni and cheese.

***** That yummy image lives here.

****** That image lives here.

Day 22: Junket, oui. Judgment, non.

I’m staying out of work today. And I’m glad to report that I’m doing pretty well letting go of any self-judgment about that decision. Which is great, because it’s unpleasant enough to feel bad, without feeling bad about feeling bad.

Wouldn’t you agree?

So I’m letting go of judgmental thoughts.  And I’m having Junket thoughts, instead.

In the likely case that you’ve never heard of Junket, dear reader, it’s  a pudding that my mother used to make whenever I was sick. I assumed that it was long-gone, but Google tells me that it’s still out there.

Wow.  It’s nice to see the old package again.

Who knows how Junket would taste to me today, but I sure did like it then.  (I also liked Franco-American canned spaghetti back then, so that  tells you a lot.)

It’s true that my mother wasn’t exactly a gourmet cook,  but I liked what she cooked for us.  There was a consistency and comfort associated with her revolving repertoire of main dishes. The dozen entrees she made included things I still sometimes yearn for.

Especially the casseroles.  Tuna Noodle Casserole. American Chopped Suey.  Yes, it’s true. I may love going to foodie-type restaurants whenever I can, but I still want tacky casseroles like that for comfort food.

Here’s another confession. When I started getting sick a few days ago, one of the remedies I took was … Tuna Noodle Casserole.

It occurs to me that some people reading this might have some oh-so-understandable reactions to a pudding named Junket and casseroles consisting of tuna.  Yes, I’m experiencing the cognitive distortion of Mind Reading now, imagining that for many of you, one-syllable sounds of judgment — such as  Yuck!  — are forming in your brains.

By the way, sometimes when we guess what other people are thinking, we’re right.

Nevertheless, I am now embracing, with pride, my love of the food my mother served me.

Especially when i was sick.

Vive La Junket!

And with that thrilling declaration, I am now going to open up a can of chicken soup.

Thanks for reading (no matter what your personal food preferences).