Day 2704: I forgot

I forgot why I decided to call this post “I forgot.”

Wait!  I remember.

I forgot to check the celebrity gossip yesterday. I also forgot to share yesterday’s Daily Bitch Calendar.

I forgot to mention that I think there are many delicate balances in life.

I forgot what that off-shore structure was for (if I ever knew), but I didn’t forget to take more photos of it yesterday for the amazing blogger Christopher Waldrop (who mentioned it in a comment about yesterday’s post).

I forgot that we bought a “Breaking Bad“  hat years ago.

I forgot most of the episodes of Breaking Bad because I binge-watched them so I could watch the final episode with Michael and Aaron.

I forgot that we  bought a silver pen so that the star of Breaking Bad,  Bryan Cranston, could sign that hat, but he forgot to come out and meet fans after a performance of the play All the Way in Cambridge before its Broadway opening.  I forgot whether that was the only time he didn’t come out during the Cambridge run of the play, but I think so.

I forgot my cardiologist’s story about meeting Bryan Cranston, but I think it was a good one. (My cardiologist has SO MANY stories and I have so many stories about him.)

I forgot to feel sad about Oscar’s cancer yesterday, because he is doing so well.

I forgot why yesterday was an all-day “New Event” in my calendar.

Don’t forget: every day is an all-day new event.

I forgot whether the rest of my photos from yesterday fit today’s topic.

I forgot to ask a question from that book in my Coping and Healing group yesterday.

I forgot to take off those socks before my Coping and Healing group, but nobody could see them anyway.

I forgot to practice keyboards.

I forgot to read more of that excellent book about how the body remembers trauma.

I forgot how the ocean looks so different, every friggin’ day.

I forgot to remind you how awesome you are.

I almost forgot to share that photo of Michael’s latest cooking masterpiece. I forgot to eat crunchy snacks yesterday because Michael’s vegetables are so satisfyingly crunchy.

I forgot all the details of this old Steve Martin routine.

Don’t forget to leave a comment and I never forget to express my gratitude to all my readers, including YOU.

Day 273: The Show About Everything

I told some people I love, yesterday, when we were in the middle of the home stretch of a “Breaking Bad” marathon, that my punchline about the show was this:

While

was The Show About Nothing,

“Breaking Bad” was the The Show About Everything.

Here’s one random thought, this Monday morning,  about The Show About Everything:

People are hungry for great stories, about interesting people who change.

.

Here are just  a few of the themes I noticed, over the weekend, in The Show About Everything:

Secrets/Revelations

Lying/Telling the truth

Trauma/Healing

Everything we do affects others, in ways we often cannot predict.

There is bad and good in all of us.

.

The moment that is lingering for me, right now, after watching every episode, except for one*?

Walt, finally, saying something like this:

What I did, I did for myself.  I liked it. I was good at it.

.

After the show was over, I said, to anybody who might have been listening at that point, “See?  Do what you love. Do what you’re good at.”

I assumed that I didn’t need to add something like this, “Of course, you need to make better choices than Walt did.”

I’m sure they know that, by now.

Okay!  I’ve got to go to work. (Not to cook, but to listen to stories.)

Thanks to those who do what they love, to people who have both good and bad in them, and to everybody making choices today. And many thanks to you, for being here.

___________________________________________

* I skipped watching “Rabid Dog,” on the advice of practically everybody.

Day 272: Commitments

As I’ve been blogging about this week, I decided to take on a marathon task recently:  watching many, many episodes of the TV show “Breaking Bad,” over the course of very, very few days.

I set some limits, regarding this task:

1. I would not reduce the amount of sleep I usually get, during that time.
2. I would not cancel appointments or other commitments I had agreed to previously.

And I have kept to these limits.

I have noticed some benefits (or pros) to this marathon, including the benefit of distraction.  That is, I have NOT worried about:

1. A presentation I’m giving next week.
2. The imminent advent of colder weather.

And, in the past, I have worried about the above, over similarly-timed weekends.

I have noticed some negatives (or cons) to this marathon, including missing the following:

1. Spending more time talking to real human beings.
2. Spending more time outside, in some beautiful weather.

Another negative/con I’ve noticed:

At times, watching “Breaking Bad” has seemed like something I HAD to do, not something I CHOSE to do. And that certainly makes a difference in mood, don’t you think?  But I knew I had “an out.” That is,  I knew I could stop at any time.  And that helped.

From the perspective of this morning of the Last Day of Breaking Bad, I’m realizing this:

I think it’s impossible — with the limitations of time and space — to complete the marathon.

So here are some possible solutions:

I may  skip some episodes and, perhaps, read synopses on-line.  In some circles, that might be considered cheating. BUT, as far as I know, that kind of cheating is NOT against the law.  (And I believe I am NOT rationalizing here, unlike some other characters I’ve been seeing a lot lately:

.)

Or, I may drop out of the marathon.  In some circles, that might be considered weakness or failure.

But, here’s a question I like to pose sometimes:

What if the concept of failure did not exist?

And why not pose the other question (even though this is a first, for me)?

What if the concept of weakness did not exist?

Wouldn’t that be great?

Okay, people. I need to bid adieu to the rest of the world, for now, as I spend more time with those characters above.

I’m sure I’ll learn something.

Thanks to all those who set goals, recognize limits, solve problems, let go of unhelpful things, and keep on going (including you, me, and some other characters, too).  And thanks for reading today, too.

Day 271: Room For Error

I am in the middle of watching a lot of “Breaking Bad” episodes, in an attempt to catch up. I would like to watch the final episode on Sunday with people I love.

I’m probably not going to make it, but I’m going to do my best.

I’m going to make decisions, recognizing there are trade-offs at each point.

I want to take care of myself first.

My priorities may shift, throughout this process.

I am currently watching the Fly episode.

Walter White just said,

There is no room for error, not with these people.

Thank goodness I’m not dealing with people like that, these days.

Thanks to creative people, imperfectionists everywhere, and to you, for reading today.

Day 270: Help with hangovers

Yesterday, at work, I felt  …

Cloudy.

Not myself.

Distracted.

I was thinking thoughts like these:

I’m having trouble being here today.

I wish I could go home.

Why am I feeling this way, after having such a great day yesterday?

I wonder if I’m getting sick?

Have I taken on too much?

What can I identify, right now, that might have contributed to those feelings and thoughts?

1. Some people, whom I have really enjoyed working with, are leaving.
2. I’ve been watching many hours of “Breaking Bad,” in a row.
3. Because of changes in the weather, I  am often too hot or too cold (thanks a lot, Goldilocks).
4. Because of operating system changes to my iPhone AND to my computer at work, lots of things look quite different.
5. Perhaps lots of things are looking quite different, because of other things on this list.

What helped with these feeling and thoughts, yesterday?

Listening to other people’s wisdom about what helps them, including the following:

It helps to do a cost-benefit analysis.

Yesterday, somebody named this antidote as particularly helpful to them:

Cost-Benefit Analysis.  List the pros and cons of a negative thought (like “I always screw up”) or a behavior pattern (like isolating when you’re depressed). A simple version of this is to ask yourself, “Does this [thought or action] help me?

It helps to let people know that you appreciate them.

This is especially helpful during these times:

1. When people are leaving.
2. When people are still there.

It helps to make a list of Pros and Cons, especially when you are facing a difficult decision.

I just went to my Go-To Application (Google), for some back-up on Pros and Cons.

Here’s what I found, thanks to The Oatmeal:

Which leads me to this:

It helps to laugh.

This is especially helpful during these times:

1. When you’re alone.
2. When you’re with other people.

That concludes our blog post for today, ladies and gentlemen.

Thanks to The Oatmeal, to wise and funny entities of all kinds, and to you, for reading today.

Day 269: Why yesterday was a good day.

Last week, I wrote about bad days and good days (including how our internal experience can greatly affect how we judge those).

Yesterday, by any criteria, was a good day.

Here are some of the reasons why this was true:

Reason # 1.

Something I had been hoping for and working towards, at work, came true.

Specifically: I will be able to reach out, more directly, to people who might benefit from the therapy groups I offer.

While I can’t foretell the future, I believe this will have many good effects on the groups.

Reason #2.

Something I had been hoping for and working towards, here in the blogosphere, came true.

Specifically: A particular country came up in my readership statistics.

While my readership for this blog this year has been expanding in amazing and gratifying ways, one country has been conspicuously absent.

Iceland.

I hear a lot of great things about Iceland, from people who have visited that country.

And I would like to visit Iceland, some day.

As I would like to visit many, many other countries.

And this might sound like bragging, but many, many other countries have shown up in my WordPress readership statistics, during this Year of Living Non-Judgmentally.

But not Iceland.  And I’ve been noticing that, for months.

And as I’ve written about before (like here and here), we can tend to notice what’s missing, and give that more importance than what we already have.

So while I’ve enjoyed looking at my growing readership statistics,  sometimes I would wonder, Where’s Iceland?

And I don’t mean to slight the other countries, who have been showing up, day after day.  I have welcomed each new country, with joy and appreciation.

But, as time has gone on, Iceland’s absence has loomed larger.

Sometimes, this thought would pop up:

Is Iceland too cool for me?

And I would dismiss that thought as silly (not to mention an example of several types of cognitive distortions).

Nevertheless, I continued to notice. And I’ve even remarked on The Absence of Iceland, to others.

So, I was particularly thrilled, yesterday, when Iceland finally showed up — on the very same day as Good News #1, above!

Reason #3.

I had a breakthrough therapy session, yesterday.

Specifically: I asked some questions, that I had never asked before.

I was brave.

Reason #4.

I felt so good — and brave — last night, that I decided to bite the bullet and finally commit to watching a TV Show that people I love have been talking about, for quite a while.

And, people have been talking about this show much more, lately, because the show is about to end, this Sunday.

I watched many episodes of that show, last night.

My hope is to catch up, so I can join some people I love on Sunday, as they watch the final episode.

If I make that goal, great!   If I don’t, c’est la vie.

Either way, I’m going to fortune-tell here, and predict that Sunday is going to be another good day.

I’ll let you know, next week.

Thanks to Iceland, the rest of the world, and to you — of course — for reading today.