Day 441: FINE

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote an entire post in my head.

This is it.

Not to put too fine a point on it … this really isn’t it, but rather an attempt to recreate those middle-of-the-night musings. For example, this paragraph wasn’t there, at all, last night.

What I did want to do today was communicate some of my thoughts and feelings about this kind of fine:

Fine (penalty)

A fine is money paid usually to superior authority, usually governmental authority, as a punishment for a crime or other offence. The amount of a fine can be determined case by case, but it is often announced in advance.

The most usual use of the term, fine, relates to a financial punishment for the commission of crimes, especially minor crimes, or as the settlement of a claim. A synonym, typically used in civil law actions, is mulct.

I hope it’s fine with you that I riff, a little, about those opening lines from that Wikipedia entry.  First of all, I object to the words “superior authority.”  Superior to whom?  To me?  Oh, fine!  THAT’S really going to trigger my authority issues!  AS IF I’m going to want to pay a fine to somebody or something that acts SUPERIOR to me!

Also, what about that word “punishment”?  That’s going to help me pay any fine I might owe, too — feeling like a bad child that has to stand in the corner, just because I did something minor.  And that word “crime”?  That’s going to help my self-esteem a lot and help me feel safe and secure. Maybe, just maybe, whenever I get fined for some stupid little infraction, like my parking meter running out, I JUST WON’T PAY!  That’ll show them!

And don’t even get me started on the word “mulct.”

Based on that rant, people might be wondering how I am, this morning.

I’m fine.

Sometimes, I’ve heard it said, “I’m fine” might mean that you’re really

Freaked out

Insecure

Neurotic

Emotional

According to acronymfinder.com, here are some other definitions of the acronym FINE:

Frustrated Insecure Neurotic Emotional

Fickle Insecure Neurotic and Emotional

Foggy Insecure Neurotic Emotional

Fouled Up, Insecure, Neurotic and Emotional (Aerosmith; polite form)

Fault Injection and Monitoring Environment

Feelings Inside Not Expressed

Feeling Inadequate, Needing Encouragement

Actually, I really AM fine this morning.

Although, this post is quite different from the one I imagined, last night. I hope that’s fine with everybody.

This post is not fine enough for me, though, until I include some visuals. Let’s see what Google Images has for “fine,” this fine morning:

(I found this image here)

(I found this image here)

(I found that image here)

(I found this image here)

(I found this image here)

(I found this image here)

And fine-ally, let’s see if I have anything on my iPhone that’s a fine-enough fit for this post.

I sure felt fine, when I saw the moon, two nights ago.

Thanks to The Free Dictionary, Wikipedia, Acronym Finder,  Google Images, and all those other fine resources I depend upon for my posts; thanks to all those who helped with the creation of this post in any way; to fine people everywhere (in every sense of the word); and to you — of course! — for visiting today.

Day 299: Why haven’t I published anything (outside of here)?

This morning, I am posing questions about where I am in my life, right now.

I have enough expertise and skill to be a published author. Why haven’t I made that happen, so far in my life?

What’s gotten in the way of that?

Here are some things I can think of:

1. Doubts about my (previously mentioned) expertise and skill.
2. My ability to think of a kashmillion things I would rather be doing other than writing something for publication.
3. Concern (and perhaps some other feelings) that other people would  have the control to accept or reject something that was important to me (and what makes THEM such friggin’ experts, anyway?!??)
4. My short attention span. (Look!  It’s a baby wolf!)

Where was I?

Oh, yes. I was asking the question:

Why haven’t I published anything, so far in my life?

Oh, I wanted to state the obvious, at this point.  I’m not counting what I’ve published here, at WordPress. Because if I did, I’ve published almost 300 times.

I’m discounting that.

Hmmmm. I’m wondering if I’m discounting anything else?

Because, recent data suggests that I can forget things that I’ve done.  By “recent data,” I am referring to my blog post, two days ago, where I forgot that I had actually taken a photo of Carl Yastrzemski, when I was at the 1st game of the World Series, at Boston’s Friendly Fenway Park.

So, let’s see. have I published anything, outside of  these blog posts?

Hmmm. I guess you could say I have.

About 20 years ago, when I was in Social Work school, I wrote a paper about how people with disabilities were portrayed in the media. I interviewed people from a local chapter of (I believe) the National Spinal Cord Injury Association, and they asked if they could publish a version of my paper in their national publication. Which they did.

And in years past, if you Googled my name, that article appeared. But I can’t find it now, to check my facts (and support my bragging).

So maybe I’ll see if I can find that article, later.

But in the meantime, it’s a beautiful day!

Which means, I would like to wrap this post up.

Before I do, here’s what feels left undone.

I want to ask  myself another question:

Do I WANT to publish (or do I just think I SHOULD publish)?  (Psssst!  The word “should” can indicate a cognitive distortion.)

Hold on, I’m thinking ….

Here’s the answer.

I do want to publish, if it’s something:

1. I feel passionately about, and
2. I think would be helpful to share with others.

So what might that topic be?

I’m interested in communication of all kinds, verbal and nonverbal. Maybe I should write a paper on something like this:

The people in the following image (from a national TV broadcast) are having an experience that most would consider joyful:

That is, they are attending a World Series Game, where their home team is leading by a score of 8-1, one strike away from victory.  What emotions are they communicating, non-verbally? What are the factors influencing those non-verbal communications, from the stand-point of those sending AND receiving the communications?

That’s definitely an interesting topic.

However, I can think of another topic, that’s probably a better fit for the two criteria I listed above: The therapy groups that I have created and facilitate, where I work.

So I would like to take steps to publish, about those.

One last thing, before I end this post: I believe it helps, once you have identified a goal, to make a commitment for action, ideally witnessed by others.

Therefore, I hereby commit, to my group of WordPress readers, that I will take a measurable step, by the end of this year, to publish about those therapy groups.

Okay!

Thanks to  Dan Shaughnessy (the author of “One Strike Away: The Story of the 1986 Red Sox”), thatcutesite.com,  baby wolves (and other distractions), the National Spinal Cord Injury Association, verbal and non-verbal communicators everywhere, and to you — of course! — for witnessing today.