Day 3593: Tranquility

In the week before the U.S. midterm elections, I am searching for tranquility.

Can you find tranquility in my images for today?

I’m very aware of stress on National Stress Awareness Day, so I’m going to search for “tranquility” on YouTube.

Ahmad Jamal’s music has given me tranquility and much more over the years, so thanks to him and everyone else who helped me create this Tranquility post, including YOU.

Day 3174: Nagging questions

I’ve been asking lots of nagging questions lately, including these:

• will you help me do this thing I can’t seem to do on my own?
• can you help me do that now?
• when are you going to replace your missing vaccination card?
• why are technology “improvements” usually so disruptive?
• have you turned on your new phone yet?
• should I go to my high school reunion this Saturday?
• when will people in-person stop looking like germs to me?
• what did so-and-so mean when they said that?
• why does the convection oven never cool down?
• why do I worry so much about stupid things?
• does worry ever help?
• when will I feel safe again?
• what would my late father (born on today’s date) say about the current state of the world if he were alive now?
• why do the cats keep nagging me to feed them when I just fed them?
• what are your plans for today?
• what’s for dinner?

I don’t like being a nag (especially to my son and my husband), but I have all these nagging questions!

I’ve also been asking nagging questions on Twitter. Indeed, one person there called my questions “nosey” (although not about any of these questions):

Here are two more nagging questions: which photo do you like best and why?

Apparently I’m not the only one with nagging questions.

Do you listen to the music I share here on this blog? I don’t mean to nag, but you might really enjoy these two tunes about questions (found here and here on YouTube).

Are you going to comment on this post? When?

No matter what the nagging question, gratitude always seems like a good answer to me, so thanks to all who help me share my nagging questions, including YOU!

Day 3105: Something beautiful

Here’s something beautiful I just posted on Twitter:

Yes, I would rather look at something beautiful than look at the news. Can you help me?

By the way, asking for help is something beautiful, and that’s something I get to witness in my therapy groups every week.

Can you find something beautiful in my other images for today?

When I search YouTube for “something beautiful,” I discover many beautiful things, including this:

… and this:

Gratitude is something beautiful, so thanks to all who help me blog every day, including YOU!

Day 2385: I Need Your Help.

Yesterday, in a therapy group, we talked about how difficult it is to ask others for help.  I wrote this up on the white board to remind people about how to ask for help:

Today, I need your help.  I have to submit a 340-character blurb and a photo about  my Edinburgh Free Fringe show — Group “Therapy” with Ann — tomorrow at the latest, so it can be included in the published version of the Wee Blue Book, listing all the Free Fringe shows. (Here‘s a link to the current listings in that book.)

Here’s what I’ve got, so far, for my blurb:

If you want a taste of group therapy with a trained professional who writes songs like “Everybody’s Somebody’s A**hole,” don’t miss this ONE TIME ONLY show. Find out just enough about yourself and others to feel better. “This could work.” – Scottish comedian Raymond Mearns. “That’s my mother.” – award-winning comedian Aaron Fairbanks.

If you saw that amongst hundreds of other show descriptions, might you attend that show?

The accompanying photo has to be small and square, and I’m considering one of these, taken last year during the Edinburgh Fringe Festival by my son Aaron’s friend Camilla:

Photo 1:

Photo 2:

Photo 3:

Photo 4:

Photo 5:

I need your help in deciding which of those photos might be best.

When I have lots of choices and am under a deadline, sometimes I feel like this:

Here‘s an appropriate song for today:

Many thanks to all those who help others, here, there and everywhere, including YOU!

Day 2295: ASK FOR HELP!

Last week, somebody who was joining my Coping and Healing groups said to me, “I have trouble asking for help.” I hope it helped when I replied, “You’re not alone.  Many other people in the groups also struggle with asking for help.”

Yesterday morning, when I was writing my second Letter from the President for the Northeastern Society for Group Psychotherapy (NSGP) newsletter, my boyfriend Michael started talking in his sleep.  Michael sometimes talks in his sleep in the mornings, but I can never hear what he’s saying. It doesn’t help that he mumbles while sleep-talking.  Yesterday, he said

Don’t (…unintelligible mumbling…)    ASK FOR HELP!!

“ASK FOR HELP!” was so loud and clear that it startled me and the cats. Inspired by that message from the sleeping Michael, I immediately sent my latest version of my Letter from the President to a helpful friend and NSGP board member, and asked for her help in reviewing what I’d written.  It really helped that I asked for help that way, because (1) she was very positive and helpful in her feedback and (2) this morning I restarted my computer and would have completely lost all my latest work if I hadn’t sent her that draft.

As Michael said, ASK FOR HELP!

I heard “ASK FOR HELP!” in my head yesterday  as I looked for helpful images to capture and share. You don’t have to ask me to include them here and now.

Right before I took that last photo, I heard many cat noises coming from inside our house, so I asked for Michael’s help in identifying them.  Since I asked for help, he showed me this video:

Those hungry cats were asking for help, and they got it.

After our long walk near the seashore yesterday, I received an email about Open Mic’s around Boston.  Because it helps to practice my original songs, I asked for help in signing up for a slot tomorrow night.

Last night, Michael and I had dinner with my friend and co-worker Alice and her husband  (not pictured).  I said, “I think Alice and I have the female equivalent of a bromance.  I wonder what that’s called?” Later, I asked for help in identifying that term.  Would you like to ask for help in discovering what that word is?

It’s “womance.”

If you have trouble sharing your thoughts and feelings in a comment below, ASK FOR HELP!

Every day, I ask for help in expressing my gratitude to all those who help me create these posts and — of course! — to YOU.

 

Day 1777: It’s good to be tough

It’s good to be tough

when things get rough

but it’s good to be vulnerable, too.

In every location

I see invitation

to huddle and muddle things through.

After every bad storm

it’s important to mourn

and also find strength in your heart.

So put on your mittens

and play with some kittens

and […it’s tough to come up with a good last line, so could you do your part?]

 

It’s good to see Tom Petty sing

“It’s Good to Be King.”

 

Thanks for reading and helping my rhymes.

I’ll now express thanks several times.

 

Day 1094: If you are lost or need assistance

Yesterday morning, I felt lost and needed assistance,  because snow had returned to Boston:

Why did I react to the first snowfall of the season that way?

1. I’ve lived in Boston for 62 years and, at this point,  have seen enough  snow.
2. Last year’s record snowfall was so overwhelming and painful, I was considering titling this post “PTSD: Post Traumatic Snow Disorder.”
3. Now that I’m on anti-coagulants for the rest of my life, it’s very dangerous for me to slip and fall while walking, and I LOVE to walk, no matter what the weather.

Anyway, no matter what the weather, we can all feel lost and need assistance, at times.  That’s why I noticed this sign at work:

It’s wonderful to know there’s a service ambassador on call, happy to assist me.

Which reminds me of how happy I am that, starting next Monday, thanks to our new “Quick Response” service, I will be there to assist doctors and patients who feel lost and need assistance, immediately.

What do you do when you are lost and need assistance? Personally, sometimes I take photos of my surroundings to ground myself, like these:

 

 

Often, when people are lost and need assistance, they fear they are a bother to other people.  They’re not.

Today, I look forward to meeting with people who might feel lost and need assistance, in group and individual therapy.

Here’s another thing that helps me when I’m lost or need assistance: connection to others.  If you think that means I’m hinting that you leave a comment below, you are NOT lost and in need of assistance.

Thanks to all humans who have ever felt lost or have needed assistance, which — I assume — includes you and everyone else reading this post, here and now.

 

Day 780: Keepers

Yesterday, amazing WordPresser Maureen wrote this comment as a leave behind on my post:

Aaron is such an extraordinary leave-behind, Ann, and such a keeper.

Thank you, Maureen, for being (1) so perceptive about my son Aaron, (2) a keeper yourself, and (3) the provider of today’s blog post title.

On the same day that Maureen left behind that keeper of a comment, my son Aaron and I left behind the keeper city of San Luis Obispo. I wanted to keep a memory of Sol, the manager of our keeper hotel — who moved from Leicester, England to Nashville, Tennessee in 2008 and then to SLO  in 2014 — so I kept notes and this photo:

I think people are the important keepers, so it was Sol and the rest of his friendly staff that made The Avenue Inn a keeper, for me.

I first visited the Hearst Castle, at San Simeon, California in the 1970’s, when I was in my 20’s and that visit was such a keeper for me that I took my son back there, yesterday.  William Randolph Hearst considered a  LOT of objects and people in his life keepers, and he loved surrounding himself with as many of those as possible, until he died in 1951. I’m glad people have been working hard to keep those objects there, to this day.

Here are some photos I took and kept yesterday at the Hearst Castle, which I hope you think are keepers:

         

I mean, really, people, isn’t that a KEEPER pool?

Here’s something I don’t want to keep to myself: It’s taking me so many steps and so much time, these days, to keep photos in this blog, I KNOW my current process is NOT a keeper. As soon as I can figure out a way to make and keep an appointment at an Apple Store and show them my non-keeper photo methods, I’m sure I’ll get some new keeper ideas from them.

Or, here’s a possible keeper thought:

If I can remember that I’m a keeper to the people I’ve kept in my life, I can keep asking for help with using my mac, posting photos, and all sorts of other things I want to keep doing, and those people will probably have helpful advice I can keep.

Can you keep up with me if I show you one more keeper photo from the Hearst Castle, yesterday?

That photo is not the usual kind of keeper for me. Indeed, I almost forgot to keep it in today’s blog. However, if you keep looking, there’s a piano in that photo and — according to our keeper tour guide, Eric — George Gershwin and other keeper musicians of the day all played on that very piano.

Perhaps those piano keys keep a memory of Gershwin playing this for William Randolph Hearst’s gathered guests, decades ago:

That keeper version of Gershwin playing his “Rhapsody in Blue” is kept here by YouTube.

After Aaron and I left the Hearst Castle, we gathered many more keeper memories as we drove to Palo Alto, the home of my college roommate, Marcia. If Marcia is not a keeper, I don’t know what a keeper is. Personally, I find the objects in her home even more valuable keepers than those I saw at the Hearst Castle yesterday, but seeing some of those will just have to keep, until tomorrow.

Thanks to Maureen, Aaron, Sol, Eric, William, George, Marcia, and all the rest of those keeper people who helped me create and keep this blog post. Also,  special keeper thanks to you, for being keepers and readers here, today.

Day 380: S-words (Secundo)

Several days ago, I wrote a post, called “S-words.”  I am surmising, this second, that it might be helpful to write a sequel to that.  Shall we start?

1.  Secundo.

That word spontaneously showed up in my mind, when I was shaping the title of this post. I speculated that “Secundo” might be spot-on, even though I wasn’t sure it was really a word. I searched Google and ….

secundo
Web definitions
The secondary part of a duet
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/secundo

Sweet.

2. Sleep.

Like scores of people I see, I struggle with sleep, sometimes, and I’ve spoken about that before. WordPress shows the word “sleep” in seven of my post titles, so far. (Should you wish to survey that series: first, second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh.)

Here’s some stuff I  want to say about sleep:

• On the night before I see somebody I’m excited to see, I  usually have trouble sleeping. Specifically, I’m seeing two  people, tomorrow, whom I haven’t seen for a s***-load of years.  One person I know from school; the second person is somebody I met from the first psychotherapy group I ever attended. So, the fact that I’m seeing these two old friends, both on the same day … is that synchronicity? Or simply coincidence? Whatever we call it, it’s screwing up my sleep.
• I’m going to stop this list, so I can return to slumber-land.

Before I slide black into slumber, however, there are some loose strings I’d like to sew up, from some previous posts. In yesterday’s post, I spoke about losing gloves, and how I was going to search for one of these at work.

Success!

Secondly,  readers may have noticed my series of  attempts to simplify my system for doing footnotes here at WordPress, including my search for a surprisingly elusive solution: superscripts.

I’ve struggled to find The Superscript Solution, for several weeks. Actually, simply ‘splaining what a superscript is has been a struggle, since I haven’t been able to show you one, so far.

Yesterday, WordPress Support sent me an email, with a solution.

Should I attempt it?¹

She shoots, she scores!

Thanks to sleepers, insomniacs, and, especially, WordPress Support. And, a special shout out to you, for reading tonight, today, or whenever.

---

1.  Some people say that when you can’t sleep, you should spend some time doing something soothing before attempting to go back to sleep. Some people might say that doing something new, like using a superscript for the first time² in a blog post, might interfere with going back to sleep. What’s been your experience?
2. The second time was easier. I also want to let people know that I will share my new wisdom, soon. ³
3. Here’s the secret formula:  ³   which needs to be inserted on the “text” format page.

Day 378: The Lint Metaphor

Yesterday, I asked for help from the blogging community. I will tell you — right now — that asking for help is a big deal for me. I tend to try to take care of things, on my own.

I have been trying to balance that independence of mine (or whatever else we want to call that) with reaching out for support. I’ve been consciously doing that more, in these year(s) of living:

1. with less judgment,
2. with less fear, and
3. with more love.

So I reached out for support, yesterday. I asked for help, from my readers, in coming up with a metaphor for an unhelpful feeling which sticks, and then — when dislodged — reattaches to something else. More specifically, I asked for a metaphor that described a particular fear of mine: that other people might be angry, judgmental, or otherwise (perhaps permanently) disconnected from me.

Readers came up with some great metaphors, as well as other enriching, insightful thoughts.

I don’t have time to write about all of those today, so please see the comment section of yesterday’s post, people!

I do want to quote from one of the responses — from one of the VIP’s (Very Important Participants) in this blogging journey of mine, Sitting On My Own Sofa — as follows:

… lint also sticks. It goes away and it comes back mysteriously. Maybe it goes down the drain or into the vacuum or off to the dump, but it will appear again in the closet, in front of a classroom, at a restaurant. The physics of lint is a lot like the physics of anxiety.

What Sitting On My Own Sofa wrote has been sticking, for me, in a very good way.

Lint is everywhere. It does appear on my clothes. It’s pretty much there, whenever I look closely.  And there’s no shame in it.  How could there be?  It’s everywhere, no matter how much we might try to control it.

Last week, when I was at work, I glanced down at my clothes and saw some lint.

My first thought?  Oh, no!

My next thoughts?

Oh, come on, Ann!  Who cares?  It DOESN’T MATTER. First of all, nobody else is going to notice that. And if somebody does notice and it matters to them?  Forget them!*

So, already, I’m finding that lint metaphor very helpful. Thanks, Sitting On My Own Sofa!

And other suggested metaphors, from yesterday’s post — including bats, crows, athlete’s foot, kitchen moths (eeek!), gout, mildew, green slime, shadows, musical earworms, carpenter ants, stray cats, fog, rocks, dandelions, magnetized objects, water, algae, dust bunnies, ghosts, silver fish, cockroaches (eeek!), meteor showers, tickbirds, and paprazzi (if you’re a star);** rumoras (little fish that stick to big fish)***; boomerangs****; seeds that float on the wind *****; a grain of sand ******; bad pennies ******* mirrors******** — were all illuminating and helpful.

Also, two VIP readers ********* voted for my metaphor du jour — a sea anemone. I particularly appreciated that, since I went to the New England Aquarium yesterday, with my son and boyfriend, and saw LOTS and LOTS of those beauties:

**********

I’m so glad I asked for help, yesterday!

What I’ve written here, this morning, is reminding me of something else I need help with: figuring out how to do footnotes with numbers, not asterisks.  Having that as an option would be particularly helpful, especially when I’m having a lot of thoughts I want to convey in one post (like today).

And while I haven’t gotten help with doing numbered footnotes, yet, I will continue to seek that help, wherever I can find it, balancing that with my ability to learn on my own.

Wait, I just figured out a way to improve my footnotes, here!  And because I have to end this post, I shall do it as best as I can, considering that I need to stop this post in moments, to get ready for work.

Okay!

Thanks to everybody, everywhere, who helped with the creation of today’s post, whether or not I thanked you. And thanks to you, especially, for visiting and reading today.

---

1. I’m thinking about that Cee Lo Green tune, right now: “Forget You,” for lots of reasons.

2.  All from the wonderful mind of Sitting On My Own Sofa.

3.  From T. D. Davis. Thanks!

4. From Mark Bialczak and Russ Towne.  Thanks to both of you!

5. From biochicklet. Thanks!

6. From Wancho.  Thanks!

7.  Russ Towne, again.  Thanks!

8.  From drjcwash, whom I can’t seem to link to, this morning. Thanks so much!

9.   andy1076 and Susan Jamieson. Thanks!!!

10. I wish I had brought my phone with me to the Aquarium, yesterday, so I could show you my own photos, but I didn’t. So thanks to this site, for this image.