Whenever somebody apologizes in group therapy, I automatically say “No need to apologize.”
I don’t apologize for that response, because my experience is that people apologize too much, especially when they’re feeling anxious or self-conscious. And in my therapy groups, I observe people learning to break the habit of apologizing for being themselves and for being human. No need to apologize for that kind of progress.
But what if there IS a need for somebody to apologize? Should I still say, “No need to apologize?”
No need to apologize for my asking more questions about the need to apologize:
- When is there a need to apologize?
- How do you apologize?
- How do you respond to apologies?
- Is there a need to apologize for taking only one photo all day yesterday?
No need to apologize for sharing the song “Apologize” by OneRepublic.
No need to apologize if you have some thoughts and feelings about the need to apologize. No need to apologize if you leave or if you don’t leave a comment.
There IS a need to apologize if I don’t express my gratitude to all who helped me create today’s post and to you — of course! — for being here, now.
Here are some thoughts about the phrase, “I’m sorry,” this morning.
- I said that to my sister yesterday, regarding some things I had done in the past. I could tell she thought those words were unnecessary, because this was similar to the look on her face.
(Note: this image comes up in response to the word “bafflement.”)
- I wrote that phrase on Facebook yesterday, in response to an unexpected loss for an old friend.
- My first year at college, I was describing something upsetting that had happened to me, and my roommate, Marcia, said that phrase to me. I was puzzled (never hearing it used that way, before), and I replied, “Why? It’s not your fault.”
- I think I hear women saying that phrase more than I hear men, especially in this situation: negotiating space issues with strangers while walking around in public.
- About a decade ago, in a therapy group, I gave the assignment of keeping track of how often one said that phrase, over the course of one week. (I was later told that was a helpful assignment.)
I’m sorry to have to tell you that I need to end this post.
But first, another Google Image:
(Two thoughts about that photo: (1) I should probably order that card from holycool.net and (2) that reminded me I need to eat some friggin’ thing, NOW.)
Thanks to my sister, to Marcia, to anybody who has ever said, “I’m sorry” (for any reason), and to you, for reading today.
Categories: personal growth
Tags: "I'm sorry", Andy Rooney, apologies, apology greeting card, effect of hunger on thinking, group therapy, groups, growth, healing, self improvement, self-judgment, self-worth