Day 3711: Guilty

When people in therapy talk about how guilty they feel, I often encourage them to throw guilt away in my “magic waste paper basket.” I don’t feel guilty about having a magic water paper basket nor about suggesting that people throw guilt away. My experience is that toxic perpetrators do not feel guilty at all while well-meaning and essentially good people do feel guilty about minor infractions and imperfections.

Here’s my magic waste paper basket …

… and don’t feel guilty about throwing away guilt in any receptacle you choose.

I am guilty of gathering all the images for today’s blog post and I don’t feel guilty about sharing any of them with you.

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My guilty pleasures include chocolate soufflé and the Daily Bitch calendar.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “guilty.”

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Thanks to all who help me feel less guilty, including YOU!

Day 3666: I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, etc.

I’m good enough, I’m smart enough to remember Al Franken’s Stuart Smalley character from Saturday Night Live.

Stuart, who was not a licensed therapist (unlike me) often said “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”

Yesterday, I was good enough and smart enough to talk to another licensed therapist about Stuart Smalley and that catchphrase. In EMDR therapy, I’ve been working on believing that I’m good enough and smart enough to trust myself, and I imagined saying those affirmations to myself and believing them.

I’m good enough, I’m smart enough to realize that even though Stuart was a character on a sketch comedy show, he is still good enough and smart enough to help others, including myself.

Are my images for today good enough and smart enough?

Thanks to all those who are good enough and smart enough to help me create this daily blog, including YOU.

Day 3584: Body Armor

Yesterday, when I saw this in the supermarket …

… I thought about a recent therapy session when I had suggested that someone — who was dealing with many slings and arrows of outrageous fortune in their lives — visualize and design some imaginary body armor to protect themselves. This person loved that assignment and looked forward to sketching some cool body armor they could then imagine putting on when they were feeling vulnerable.

This morning, as I get ready to go out into the world, I feel like I could use some body armor, too. My body armor would be colorful, strong, comfortable, and allow myself to move and react nimbly. My body armor would repel bad news, aggression, and toxicity from the outside and let my own self-defeating thoughts escape easily.

Do you see any examples of body armor in today’s images?

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Do you think imagining and wearing body armor might help you live your best life during these scary times?

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “body armor.”

When I spent hours looking at tiles for our shower remodel yesterday, little did I know that I was looking at body armor.

Thanks to all who — like imaginary body armor — help me feel safer, including YOU.

Day 3579: Setting limits

In almost every group therapy session, people talk about setting limits with others. Because so many of us are people pleasers, it’s difficult to say “no” without feeling guilty.

Let’s see if today’s Daily Bitch Calendar can offer any insight about setting limits.

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That might be all we need to know about setting limits, but let’s check my other images anyway.

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Here’s what I find when I search YouTube for “setting limits.”

Because I slept later than usual today, I need to be setting limits on how much time I spend on this blog post. Therefore, thanks to all who helped me create this “setting limits” post, including YOU!

Day 3396: Naming It

I’m naming it, here and now, that I’ve written previous blog posts named “naming it” because naming it is a helpful coping strategy.

Earlier this week, people in therapy named how naming your feelings — including grief, anxiety, fear, sadness, and anger — can help you deal with those feelings. And I recently read an article, which I can’t name right now, that cited scientific proof that naming feelings can help relieve them.

Can you name any examples of naming it in my images for today?

I’m naming that (1) The Daily Bitch Calendar is a great name for my favorite calendar and (2) there are many National Hairball Awareness Days around here.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “naming it.”

At the end of each post, I name my thanks for all the people who help me blog every day, and your name is on that gratitude list!

Day 3368: What’s wrong with you

Today’s blog title is brought to you by The Daily Bitch Calendar.

I’m smiling at that calendar now. Is that wrong?

As a therapist, I’ve heard many people ask the question “What’s wrong with me?” Often, I respond like this:

“What’s wrong with you? Nothing. And that’s the wrong question.”

Yesterday, I was feeling like something was wrong with me, as I took in so much of what was wrong with the world. I started focusing on the wrong in me and in others, including my husband Michael. After a rough day when so many things went wrong, we were sitting in silence at the dinner table. I didn’t want to say the wrong thing and make anything more wrong between us.

Finally. I said, “Michael?” He replied, “Yes, Ann?” And then I said something I used to think was wrong for a humble person to say:

“I’m awesome.”

Michael laughed and agreed and suddenly what was wrong was right again.

What’s wrong or right with my other images for today?

What’s wrong with you if you feel like goofing off on National Goof Off Day? Nothing.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “what’s wrong with you.”

What’s wrong with expressing gratitude to all who help me blog every day, including you?

Day 3255: What’s a good next step for you?

Last night before I went to bed, a good next step for me was to ask this question on Twitter:

A good next step for some was to answer my question.

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A good next step for me is to share these images in today’s blog:

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “a good next step”:

A good next step is for me to share how that video reminds me of an Opening the Heart retreat when we all danced blindfolded and staff made sure we didn’t bump into each other. That was a good next step for me, decades ago, to experience joy of movement without self-consciousness.

A good next step for me, here and now, is to get ready for my one day each week of in-person work at the hospital.

What’s a good next step for you?

A good next step is gratitude, so thanks to all who took the step of visiting this blog, including YOU!

Day 3198: Safe spaces

We all need safe spaces to heal, but what spaces feel safe these days?

I’m thinking about safe spaces, here and now, because today is National GOE Day in the USA.

Do you see any safe spaces in my other images for today?

Locally, we’ll be making our home into a safe space when we repair the extensive structural damage under the upstairs shower. I’m just glad that my used-to-be-boyfriend-now-husband Michael observed water leaking outside the house before somebody fell through the floor!

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “safe spaces.”

How do you create your own safe spaces?

I hope the comments section, below, is a safe enough space where you can express your thoughts, feelings, and experiences about safe spaces.

Thanks to all who help me create a safe space here, including YOU.

Day 3193: One of those days

Yesterday, I had one of those days where everything seemed to go wrong, including

• lots of trouble locating my reserved parking space for my in-person Monday work at the medical center,
• temporarily losing my pager,
• arriving late despite leaving plenty of time to get there early,
• being continually and inexplicably locked out of using the computer at work, which I need for almost every aspect of my job as a psychotherapist,
• not receiving an important email that resulted in problems with one of the insurances I take,
• not being able to locate information needed to fill out a form to rectify the insurance problem,
• witnessing the pain of many people who were dealing with way more than just one of those days, and
• confronting all this with a minimal amount of sleep the night before.

When I was on the phone with a help desk person, who was baffled by why I kept getting locked out of using my computer, I told him I was having one of those days. I wondered if he was having one of those days too, but this was one of those conversations where only one of us was doing much talking.

Now I’m writing this wondering if I’m going to have one of those days again today. Here’s one of my thoughts about one of those days — they are much more bearable if there is only one of them.

So many people all over the world are having one of those days, over and over again.

Let’s see how many of my photos reflect one of those days.

Joan continues to have one of those days when she has to wear a cone.

My husband Michael was having one of those days when he was having trouble filleting the skate for this delicious meal. At one point, he stabbed it with his knife and said, “This is for Steve Irwin!”

This was a perfect teabag for me to get after having one of those days.

This was the only question I could think of asking on Twitter at the end of one of those days.

This is going to be one of those days that many people might enjoy celebrating.

The Daily Bitch is remembering one of those days in the long-ago past.

Here’s “One of Those Days” by one of the greats, Weird Al.

Consider leaving one of those comments about this one-of-those-days post, which would make my day.

Even when it’s one of those days, I’m grateful to get another day with people like YOU.

Day 3181: Self Acceptance

Yesterday, I asked this question about self acceptance on Twitter:

Many people responded about the positive and healing aspects of self acceptance. Some people expressed a belief/fear that if they accepted themselves exactly the way they are, they would stay stuck, be settling for less, and would never change.

My observation and experience is that self acceptance is usually the first step to being balanced, present, and more able to see the way clear to taking the next positive and achievable step towards self improvement.

Personally, I find self acceptance freeing and energizing. Do you see self acceptance in my other images for today?

My sense is that the Daily Bitch accepts herself exactly the way she is.

Here’s what I find on YouTube when I search for “self acceptance.”

What are your thoughts and feelings about self acceptance?

Please accept my gratitude for your acceptance, here and now!