psychology

Day 3096: The people who are grabbing your attention now

Who are the people who are grabbing your attention now, besides me?

I often grab people’s attention by pointing out that the people who are grabbing our attention are often the difficult ones. They grab our attention because we experience them as a problem, even a danger, and our mind wants to find a “solution” to make our environment safer.

Last night, when I thought I might lose sleep because of people who were grabbing my attention, I tweeted this:

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This response to that tweet grabbed my attention:

Thank goodness, one person who was grabbing my attention yesterday was my old student, Chris Delyani, writer extraordinaire, who wishes me well and who has previously appeared in this blog (here, here, and here). I hope the word “old” doesn’t grab Chris’s attention in a negative way, because he looks great!

Chris and I grabbed each other’s attention yesterday by reminiscing about when he was a student in my writing section at Boston University in the 1980s. Now he is grabbing people’s attention with his wonderful books.

Chris and I grabbed my husband Michael’s attention when we told the story of how Chris and my other students had graded the printed directions I had given them to find my place for a celebratory party at the end of the semester. Mimicking the way I had graded and commented on their papers, they wrote (among other things):

“These directions were okay — they got us there, but we couldn’t tell how you FELT about it.”

“You show unspeakable talent… C+

Chris and my other students also grabbed my attention back then by correcting my one spelling mistake on the directions — I wrote “wonderous” instead of “wondrous.” That grabbed my attention so much that I’ve never misspelled that word since.

What grabs your attention in my other images from yesterday and why?

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Is “Cool” from West Side Story grabbing your attention now?

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It’s grabbing my attention now that this …

… was my attempt to photograph Michael’s attention-grabbing, very cool flounder-with-mango dish last night. Oh well.

Feel free to grab my attention with any comment you leave, below.

Images of gratitude always grab my attention, so thanks to all who helped me create today’s post, including YOU!

Categories: friendship, life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism, psychology | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Day 2931: Everything happens for a reason

Do you believe everything happens for a reason?

I find it more difficult to believe that everything happens for a reason when so many people seem to have lost their reason.

When so many people seem to have lost their reason, I look for a reason for why that has happened. That’s why I posted this question on Twitter yesterday:

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People’s responses happened for a reason and included the following:

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Those answers may have happened for a reason, but I still can’t find the reasons why so many people are still Trump supporters after all the unreasonable — and dangerous — things he has done and said.

Have these photos and other images happened for a reason?

There’s a reason why I captured that last image — I plan to use the “Thank you!” to end this post.

Here is “Everything Happens for a Reason” by Zhané:

It happens that I have so many reasons to be grateful, so thanks to all who help me create this daily blog, including you!

Categories: life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism, politics, psychology | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

Day 2338: The opposite of a narcissist

Narcissists are often on my mind, these days, because they

Because I’m sick to death of narcissists, I want to pose this question today:

What is the opposite of a narcissist?

For all you non-narcissists out there who care, I just googled “What is the opposite of a narcissist” and found this:

The opposite of a narcissist is called an ’empath’— here are the signs you could be one.

If you read that article by Lindsay Dodgson, you’ll find that empaths

  • are very receptive to the emotions of others,
  • don’t have the filters that other people have,
  • are very sensitive to noise and smells,
  • can be overwhelmed by being in crowds,
  •  are often exhausted by social situations,
  • need time alone,  and
  • have difficulty setting boundaries.

Over six years ago, this empath posted Day 208: Another side of mind reading (empathy), which featured the TV show Six Feet Under,  the Cleveland Clinic‘s “Empathy: The Human Connection to Patient Care” (which always makes me cry), and Gem from Star Trek, who is taught — for the survival of her species — to feel, share, and experience other people’s pain.

Because some things bear repeating, here‘s that amazing video from the Cleveland Clinic:

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When I was in my 20’s, I used to ask people this question:

Do you think there are more mean people or more stupid people in this world?

In retrospect, I think I was trying to make sense of  — and better understand — people who seemed so foreign to me.  (I also think I was trying to make sense of — and better understand — the mean and stupid parts of myself, but that’s another story.)  Today, I want to ask this question:

Do you think there are more narcissists or more empaths in this world?

I am happy to report that, based on my 66 years of experience in this world, I firmly believe there are more empaths than narcissists.  (The jury is still out on whether there are more mean people or stupid people.)

Do you see any narcissists or empaths in my photos from yesterday?

 

 

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Feel free to express any opposites  in a comment, below.

Empathic thanks to those who help me express healthy narcissism in my daily posts and — of course! — special thanks to YOU.

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Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, psychology | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 24 Comments

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