Day 3365: Asking for help

Asking for help is difficult for me and for most people I know.

Why is asking for help so difficult? Is it

  • the wish to be independent?
  • based on bad experiences asking for help in the past?
  • the fear of rejection?
  • a fear of bothering others?
  • wanting to avoid unpleasant feelings in oneself and in other people?
  • a belief in the fragility of relationships?
  • counter to one’s self image as a helper to others?
  • an inability to find the right time and the right words?

Rather than ask for help, I will go to long and elaborate lengths to solve and accomplish things on my own. When I consider asking for help, I imagine other people’s negative reactions in words and facial expressions. When I do ask for help, I often preface it with “I have trouble asking for help.”

I feel like I need to ask for help in understanding why it is sooooo difficult to ask for help, considering that when I do ask for help, it usually turns out okay. Nevertheless, what sticks in my mind are the times that asking for help did not go well.


Last night on Twitter, I asked about what people had trouble asking for, and a vast majority of the hundreds of people answering said “help.”

Does it help to know you are not alone if you have trouble asking for help?

I’m relieved that I don’t have to ask for help in gathering and sharing my images for today.

We don’t have to get our lives in order in order to ask for help, you know.

I didn’t need help finding helpful videos to share today, including this

… and especially this:

Now I’m asking for help, specifically your comments about this post.

See? (I am saying to myself.) That wasn’t so difficult!

Thanks to all who help me maintain the confidence to create and share this blog every day, including YOU!

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

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5 thoughts on “Day 3365: Asking for help

  1. Growing up in a time and place where you were made to feel like that was a sign of weakness? A guess from my life, Ann.

  2. I don’t think I have tasted lemon chiffon cake. Maybe I should ask for help with that? I don’t usually ask for help because I don’t want to impose, but maybe in this case…?

    I will watch the Ted talk in a little bit.l

  3. It’s tough for me to ask for help, but a large part of my job is responding to requests for help. And I find helping others is very rewarding. That should tell me something.

  4. it has always been hard for me to ask for help but I have asked for help to learn how to do it and it has really helped me. I am, as we all are, a work in progress.

  5. I find that asking for help requires a certain vulnerability that is scary, but I am learning that whole new worlds can open up if you will but take that first, scary step. (Loved Gottlieb’s book, too.) 🥰

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