Day 3082: I forgive you

Many people I work with in therapy have trouble forgiving themselves for past mistakes and transgressions. Yesterday, I gave somebody this assignment: to look themselves in the face (in a mirror, any other reflective surface, or, yesterday, during our ZOOM call) and say, “I forgive you.” We practiced that many times during the therapy session, with this person adding their name at the end of the self-forgiving statement.

I’ve been practicing that also, and it really helps. I forgive you, Ann, for

  • being irritable with lots of people lately,
  • your lapses in memory,
  • repeating yourself,
  • unintentionally hurting other people’s feelings,
  • your internalized sexism, ageism, racism, and other isms,
  • not being good at everything,
  • not understanding everything,
  • doing less walking yesterday because of the heat,
  • taking only one photo outside yesterday,
  • not getting a better shot of those ducks,
  • eating meat in a restaurant last night,
  • buying way too much Ferrero Rocher gelato,
  • being a daily bitch,
  • seeing monsters where they don’t exist,
  • being a monster at times,
  • having trust issues,
  • scaring Harley just by moving too quickly,
  • comparing Harley to your late, lamented kitty Oscar,
  • repeating yourself, and
  • spending too much time on Twitter.

I forgive you, Ann, for sharing this song for the umpteenth time.

I forgive you, Ann, for asking people to comment on your blog about their own experience with self-forgiveness.

I forgive you, Ann, for ending each blog in the same way, day after day.

Categories: life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism, therapy | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 19 Comments

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19 thoughts on “Day 3082: I forgive you

  1. Thank you, Ann, for the reminder as I start my Wednesday. I still must face the mirror in my get-ready-for-work routine and will add a bit of self-forgiveness for any recent grumps. I know there had to be one or two.

  2. puella33

    I never really understood how to forgive oneself. It sounds easy, but …
    I know (in general, of course) it’s easier to say I’m sorry than to forgive another person.. So how do i forgive myself?

    • It may sound easy but it isn’t — that’s why I recommend actually looking at yourself in the mirror every day and saying, “I forgive you.”

      • puella33

        I guess, I don’t understand the concept. What am I supposed to be forgiving myself for? ( excuse the bad english )

      • No bad English. Just forgiving yourself for anything you judge yourself for (like the way you write)!

      • puella33

        Thank you

  3. I don’t know about all of those things on your list that you believe you have to forgive yourself about — although for sure you are not a monster! — but everyday you spread kindness through your blog as well as with people face-to-face. You also show how you work at it, so the others can see that showing up and being kind and telling the truth can be learned.

  4. I forgive myself for not always commenting on your blogs!

  5. For some reason I find it easy to forgive others but difficult to forgive myself. I can’t explain that.

  6. You don’t need forgiveness for anything here Ann.
    ‘Please Forgive Me’ by Duke Ellington (melody) & Irving Gordon (lyrics)

  7. I agree that it is much easier to forgive others rather than ourselves but I will begin my campaign post haste and forgive myself for not beginning this earlier. ps – I forgive you all of your ‘sins’ as they only serve to confirm that you are very human.

  8. Your long list of laments includes so many of the very reasons I think we all struggle. We humans are complex. Thanks for reminding us that forgiving ourselves is possible. You are a very good role model, whether you know it or not, dear Ann! ❤

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