Day 2761: Stuck

When I was in Social Work Graduate School in the 1990’s, I read an article that suggested that all  mental health diagnoses be replaced with one: “Stuck.”  That has stuck with me, over the years.

Today, I feel stuck in grief, because yesterday we euthanized our amazing cat Oscar, who was stuck in advanced and debilitating cancer.

This was yesterday’s Daily Bitch Calendar:


Now you’re stuck with that and with all these other recent photos:


When you’re stuck, sometimes it helps to say “f*ck this shit” and sometimes it helps to cry.


Yesterday, I stuck those tissues on the table near where we were saying goodbye to Oscar, who was stuck on his favorite blanket on the sofa.


The Lap of Love  founder and vet, Dr. Sally,  asked us yesterday if Oscar was spending a lot of time stuck in the bathroom.  Oscar had been stuck on the bathroom mat for hours yesterday while we waited for Dr. Sally to arrive at 5 PM.


Dr. Sally said that cats often get stuck in the bathroom at the end, perhaps because they are dehydrated and want to hear the sound of running water.

I’ll always be stuck with Dr. Sally’s kind demeanor, which I could read through the mask  stuck on her face because of the coronavirus pandemic (which we’re all stuck with for the time being).

Here’s some of information about herself that Dr. Sally has stuck onto the Lap of Love website:

Despite being so enamored with animals as a child, I was not able to get my first dog until I was 13 year old, but on that very special birthday, I was handed a tiny, black puppy…and I immediately burst into tears of joy! Rocko and I had many adventures together throughout my young adult life, and being his pet parent taught me more than I could have imagined about responsibility, friendship, and, above all, unconditional love. We spent many years walking our neighborhood together, and with every mile, he listened to me talk through my hopes and dreams, my concerns, and my fears. I know that everyone says this about their dog, but he was the best…a piece of my past, and a piece of my spirit…always.

I’m glad that Dr. Sally is stuck with Rocko as a piece of her spirit. Of course, Oscar will always be a piece of ours.

Here’s a video from six years ago of Oscar and I stuck in another bathroom for over eight minutes as I tried to sing along to a favorite Pat Metheny tune:

I didn’t successfully stick all the high notes there but I’m glad to be stuck with that memory of Oscar who, as usual, stuck by my side for the whole thing.

I’m looking forward to being stuck with whatever comments you choose to leave, below.

Thanks to all who have stuck it out to the end of this “Stuck” post. I’m very grateful to be stuck, here and now, with you.


Categories: in memoriam, life during the pandemic, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 42 Comments

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42 thoughts on “Day 2761: Stuck

  1. Oscar looks like my Annie, who also spent most of her last two years in the bathroom by choice, not by rule! As a matter of fact, I used the guest bathroom for showers for that entire two years. Hard to lose these dear friends, but sometimes it is the right choice. xoxo to you and Oscar.

  2. I’ll be ‘stuck’ all day thinking about you. Sending you hugs and love. Carol

  3. Debbie T

    Although I never met Oscar in person, I’ll miss him and his appearances in your blog. Thank you for sharing him with us readers. Sending thoughts of love and comfort to you and your family.

  4. It sucks to be stuck. But sometimes we just have tp accept it until the suckiness subsides. Hugs to you Anne 💕

  5. Sending you many hugs and much love dear Ann. So true, you will be stuck with Oscar always in your heart. What a lovely gift of love he leaves behind.

    Hugs ❤

  6. You are stuck with this loss forever but the hurt will diminish and the memories will sustain. Love and hugs to you.

  7. I am so sorry. how lucky that Oscar was stuck with your family and will stick with you all forever. he is truly stuck in your hearts, and you in his.

  8. I’m stuck for words today. I feel your pain but it’s comforting to know it was a peaceful transition filled with so much love. Take care, my dear friend. Hugs ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)

  9. You unstuck his distress, and I hope you won’t stay stuck in yours

  10. puella33

    I’m sending you warm hugs, Ann. We will all remember Oscar with great fondness

  11. Hugs and purrs, Ann. May you find comfort and peace in good memories of Oscar.

  12. You showed profound love and concern for Oscar right through his final moments. You were blessed to have each other. I am going to miss him, too. Thank you for showing us how to be, Ann.

  13. We are sticking with you Ann. I’m sorry that Oscar has left the room but we’ll all come together in the end. Big hug to you and your family.

  14. You stuck with Oscar, and because of that he will always stick with you.

  15. I am stuck at home, and if I fall over or sit on the floor I will be stuck there till someone comes and help

  16. barbaralipps8

    Ann, So sad to hear about Oscar. I know how much you all loved him for so many years. Sending you love.

    On Thu, Jul 23, 2020 at 9:26 AM The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally wrote:

    > Ann Koplow posted: “When I was in Social Work Graduate School in the > 1990’s, I read an article that suggested that all mental health diagnoses > be replaced with one: “Stuck.” That has stuck with me, over the years. > Today, I feel stuck in grief, because yesterday we euthani” >

  17. I’m finally un-stuck, because you chose to act regarding Oscar, euthanasia or not. Oscar, the Shakespearean cat, poet, philosopher, diviner, prophet, foreseer of events.

  18. Blessings to you and beloved Oscar, who truly stuck to my good side with your every post, Ann. A champion cat in every way.

  19. ❤️

  20. Pingback: Day 2803: I haven’t been this depressed since … | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  21. Pingback: Day 2810: Will to live | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  22. Pingback: Day 2836: I’m on my way | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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