Day 2599: Who is it for?

Before I reveal something about myself in a therapy group, I ask myself “Who is it for?”

If the answer is that it’s mostly for me, I will not share the information. If I believe that it’s mostly for the group, I will use self-disclosure.

Yesterday morning, while I was feeling very sad about the death of jazz pianist Lyle Mays, I was listening to a jazz program on WHRB, the Harvard radio station.  I decided to call them and tell them about the death of Lyle.  Who was it for?  It was for me and for any fans of Lyle who might be listening.

As I suspected, the two Harvard students who were DJ-ing  the morning jazz program on WHRB were not familiar with Lyle, but they did this for me:   they announced his death on air and played one of his tunes.  Then it was for me and for the other listeners who called in that they abandoned their scheduled playlist and shared lots of Lyle.

One of the tunes they played yesterday morning was “It’s For You.”


When I first heard about Lyle’s death Monday night, a melancholy melodic phrase from “It’s For You” filled my head, but I couldn’t remember the name of the tune.  It’s for you and for me that I share a live version of “It’s For You” now.


It’s for you that I take and share my recent photos.












Who was that delicious and nutritious meal for? It was for me and my husband Michael as we watched the returns from the New Hampshire primary last night.

Who is it for when I blog every day?  In case you didn’t know, it’s for you AND for me.


Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 25 Comments

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25 thoughts on “Day 2599: Who is it for?

  1. I love the “who is it for?” question. This is brilliant, and has the potential to be quite powerful, I think. A similar question that I use is “For the sake of what…?” It can be interesting what we discover when we stop to ask ourselves (without judgement) why we are making the choices that we are making. Another great post, thank you!

  2. Music is for everyone, Ann, and yet it is so personal. I’m glad you shared your knowledge and passion with the Harvard student DJs so they could pass it on to their world.

  3. Something to take with me today. Thanks to you Ann 💕

  4. We called that enlightened self disclosure

  5. Sometimes it is just for me and that’s okay. It’s okay to let out my thoughts and emotions so I know I am not alone.

  6. Carla Coco

    Sometimes it’s a way of coping to share something with others. Have a nice day, Ann

  7. I feel like your post on self-disclosure was written for me. I find it reassuring when a therapist is willing to admit vulnerability, and that the rules of therapy aren’t fixed because what works for one person may not work for another. And I find your honesty with health care professionals reassuring too.

  8. Who is it for?????????????????????
    Not me, that’s for sure

  9. And thank you for sharing your comfort meal with me as I read this

  10. How kind of the DJ’s to listen and then pay respects to Mr. Mays.

  11. I think your “who is it for” question is really clarifying for me, and gives some helpful direction. Thank you for sharing that! I’m impressed with the DJ’s being open to your information and then following with sharin the music. So often people aren’t willing to admit they didn’t know something. I would imagine their listeners knew who he was! Still a sad loss.

  12. Pingback: Day 2636: Therapeutic | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  13. Pingback: Day 2645: No Filter | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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