Day 2484: Inappropriate

Almost two years ago (but who’s counting?) I wrote a post titled “Appropriate.” As I often tell  members of my Coping and Healing groups, whenever we name an important topic in the room, the opposite is also implied.   Therefore, anything I write about “Inappropriate” today would also include aspects of “Appropriate.”

I think it’s appropriate that I move on with this blog post.

The inspiration for today’s blog post is somebody saying inappropriate things to me yesterday. By inappropriate, I mean

  • disrespectful,
  • toxic,
  • unprofessional,
  • unpleasant,
  • misdirected,
  • insulting,
  • condescending, and
  • probably dishonest.

Is it inappropriate to consult an online dictionary to see if that definition includes any of the same words in my list above?

in·ap·pro·pri·ate
/ˌinəˈprōprēət/
adjective
not suitable or proper in the circumstances.
“there are penalties for inappropriate behavior”
synonyms: unsuitable, unfitting, ill-suited, unseemly, unbecoming, unprofessional, unfit, unbefitting, indecorous, improper, lacking in propriety, ungentlemanly, unladylike.

“Unprofessional” makes it to both lists of “inappropriate.”   Almost all of the other “inappropriate” words are appropriate to my experience yesterday (although I wonder about the appropriateness of “ungentlemanly” or “unladylike”).

When somebody is inappropriate, I

  • am shocked,
  • get angry,
  • feel at a loss for the right things to say,
  • try to get away from the person as soon as possible, and
  • enlist appropriate people to help me deal with the situation.

What do you do when somebody is inappropriate?

I’m not sure if any of my photos from yesterday are appropriate to today’s topic.

IMG_8232

IMG_8234.JPG

IMG_8231

Personally, I think love is always appropriate.

Here’s “Inappropriate Behavior” by Lime Cordiale, performed live on the streets of Llanes, Spain.

Is it inappropriate that I also featured an Australian band in yesterday’s post?   Is it inappropriate that I’m guessing how my readers from Australia are going to respond?

Gratitude is never inappropriate, so thanks to all who helped me create today’s “Inappropriate” post and — of course! — to you, my always appropriate readers.

Categories: definition, group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 22 Comments

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22 thoughts on “Day 2484: Inappropriate

  1. When somebody says something inappropriate in a professional setting, my belief is that it is quite appropriate to calmly state so and then remove one’s self from the situation, Ann.

    • Thank you for this appropriate and helpful response, Mark. I followed your advice, although I need some work on the “calmly” part.

  2. Several years ago I met an Australian folk singer who said “crikey” and called me “mate”. I worried that saying it’s interesting how different Australian English and American English are would come across as insulting or mocking after he said he found the way Americans talk confusing. Looking back I think it was more inappropriate that I didn’t start such a conversation since it would have been good for both of us.

    • I can’t imagine you ever coming across as insulting or mocking, Chris. Thank you for being appropriately kind, supportive, and good, always.

  3. I like how you handle your disappointment in the inappropriate attack. It feels yucky. I usually do an imaginary cartoon response (think freight train, piano falling etc), and then extract myself from that situation. I used to mull over it for days, chewing on it and thinking of all the brilliant comebacks I could have come up with, Now, being older and wiser, I put the negative experience behind me. Only to bring it out occasionally until it loses its power to annoy. I hope the inappropriate person has a sudden flash of insight, never to offend again.

  4. On Thursday I did exactly as Mark suggested in his comment. It was appropriate to do so!

  5. First of all Ann, don’t take anything personally. It is not about you, but that inappropriate act of that person. As all of us are living in our own little world mentally, we never know, what is going on in another ones world.
    I hope, that you are able to react and tell that person not to talk to you in this way, as you will not accept that. Still don’t take it personal.
    Offenders are often living with anger and hate, which they themselves need to find out, this is not a great way of living. We can only show them our way and hope, they one day will be able to see it.

    • Personally, Irene, I love this comment. I am telling this person not to talk to me this way and I am getting a supervisor involved, who I know will back me up on this. And there’s a good side to everything. This same person inspired me to write my first original song, “I Don’t Like You.” For that, I will always be grateful.

  6. I am quite shocked that someone would say insulting and inappropriate things to our kind, sensitive Ann. Sending positive and appropriately calming vibes your way.

  7. Ouch, Ann! How disturbing! I think for me it depends on the content of the inappropriate behavior. Sometimes people “overshare” and the result is an inappropriate conversation. I can handle that. Unkind or cruel and thoughtless remarks that hurt, I stew and pout for a while…then make sure I’m not there for a repeat performance! I hope you’re enjoying a weekend where you can refresh and reboot! 🙂

    • Ouch! is a very appropriate response, Debra, and so are all the other supportive words of your comment. I am appropriately grateful to know you!

  8. Pingback: Day 2485: Easy for people to get in touch | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  9. Is this an appropriate blog to visit???????/
    Bloody oath it is…………………….

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