Yesterday, in a Coping and Healing group, non-difficult people talked about difficult people.
If it’s difficult to see “difficult people’ in that list of topics, it’s on the third line, third topic from the right. Some solutions to dealing with difficult people are also on that third line: “self care” and “letting it go.”
Coincidentally, I was researching difficult people the day before that group. Here‘s a link to a Psychology Today article by Kimberley Key — “How to Handle a Crazymaker: 4 keys to keep from losing it when they start playing games.” Kimberley Key’s 4 keys to dealing with difficult people are:
- Take an observer’s point of view.
- Maintain a healthy sense of self worth.
- Keep a healthy distance.
- Cultivate internal validation.
I need to deal with a difficult person at work today. Blogging about that, here and now, is reducing the difficulty for me — I’m actually looking forward to the opportunity to practice these helpful skills.
Is that difficult to believe?
Let’s see if there are difficult people in my other photos from yesterday:
Harley deals with difficult people by hiding under the bed.
Even difficult people can inspire good things. It was because of a difficult person that I wrote my first original song, 16 months ago:
And a difficult person inspired my latest song, which I performed at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe last month:
How do you deal with difficult people?
Here’s another way I deal with difficult people: I get in touch with the gratitude I have for all the non-difficult people in my life, including YOU.
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 
Move on to the next person and appreciate life, Ann. That’s the goal, anyway!
It’s not difficult to appreciate people like you, Mark.
Tell them how it is
Thanks for telling it how it is, Derrick.
This came at a good time for me. Thank you Ann.
You are most welcome, my friend.
Thank you for the excellent suggestions and the link!
You are most welcome, my excellent friend!
When I know, that I need to be in company with difficult people, I try to protect myself best possible and avoid taking anything personal. For me this works.
This helped me, Irene. Thank you!
Difficult people aren’t going to change- we have to learn how to change so we can “tolerate| them. Unfortunately , there even is a difficult person in the White House.. so, there are more challenges . Thanks, Ann
Thank you!
My hope is always that I’m not the difficult person, and trying to see things from others’ perspectives can, I also hope, help with that. I can’t make others change their behavior but I can do my best to set a positive example.
You always set a positive example, Chris. Thanks for your helpful perspective.
I get this a lot since I teach high school seniors. I’d say 99.9% of the time, the issue is really something else that’s going on. While they like to think they are grown, sometimes that stress triggers regression. It can be difficult to separate myself sometimes, but most of the time I can handle it by reminding myself it has very little to do with me.
Thanks for the helpful lesson!
Thank you for reminding me of your musical response to difficult people, Ann! We all have at least one or two people in our orbits we can categorize as difficult. Now that I’m retired it’s a lot easier to keep that healthy distance!
I will try to keep a healthy distance from those difficult people, Debra. Thanks for this helpful comment!
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I really enjoyed reading this, thank you. Dealing with difficult people can be, well, difficult. One technique that I use is to remind myself that “difficult” is an opinion. So I might think that someone is difficult and someone else might think that the same person is very easy to get along with. Neither of us will be right, because these are opinions. When I remind myself of this, I can usually either try to understand what it is within me that has me thinking they are difficult, or try to see things from their perspective. In either case, this helps me to work out what action I would like to take next. Sometimes, I have turned relationships with “difficult” people around significantly. Sometimes, I have gone with my original opinion that they are difficult, and have done whatever I have found helpful in coping with that. Thanks again, a great read!
I really enjoyed reading this wonderful comment! Many thanks to you.