As I described in last week’s post — Day 2328: A Year of No Worry — I have pledged to not worry for a year, which has been helping! As also described in that post, I told an employee at Home Depot — who said, “It’s my job to worry” — that there was a huge difference between worry and helping.
Yesterday, in a therapy session, the difference between worry and helping came up again.
As you can see from those lists, worry entails many negative experiences and helping includes much more positive experiences. In some cases, the experiences are almost opposite (“frozen” vs. “warmth” and “future” vs. “in the moment”). And yet, people often intertwine worry with helping, believing that unless they worry about others, they will focus too much attention on themselves — becoming selfish jerks rather than helpers. As usual, black and white thinking (one of the cognitive distortions found here) causes us to think it’s all or nothing — either we are selfish jerks or worrying helpers.
What I’m discovering, in my year of no worries, is that letting go of worry is helping me become a better helper to others. Worry saps my energy and gets in the way of my being as much as possible in the moment with others and therefore more sensitive to their needs.
I’m not going to worry about whether my writing in today’s post or my other photos from yesterday are helping.
If you need help interpreting any of those photos, don’t worry. Ask for help and I’ll give it, worry-free.
Here‘s what comes up on YouTube when I search for “The difference between worry and helping”:
I think that video about differences between humans and animals is very helpful.
The human band Golden Earring has at least two songs about worry: “No Need to Worry”
.. and “Don’t Worry.”
No need to worry and don’t worry about leaving a comment, below.
Worry-free and helping thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.
Great great post Ann, Happy Easter!!!
Thank you for this greatly helping comment!!
I believe in telling it how it is – Jackie says I’m honest to the point of ouch. But I don’t worry about that
Thanks for telling it how it is, Derrick — that helps me!
Great insights Ann! I have Bob Marley in my head today.
Thanks for helping, as usual, Val!!
Reading your blog helps me every time, Ann.
We help each other, Mark.
YOU are such a tremendous help in life Ann.
YOU are such a tremendous help to me and others, Colleen.
Be like Billy!
Thanks for being like you, Peter!
It helps me to know that it’s okay to feel some of the aspects of worry–including awkwardness and bouncing back and forth. It helps me to think that allowing myself to feel these feelings can even be helpful. And it helps me to know that Golden Earring, whose song “Twilight Zone” comes up on my phone regularly, has other great songs. You are indeed one of the helpers.
Don’t worry, Chris — it takes one helper to know another one.
A very helpful post, Ann! Thank you.
Thanks for being so helpful to me, Maureen, every time you comment.
A very helpful post, Ann! Thank you.
Don’t worry, Maureen — it helps to repeat positive messages.
Humans invented worry and anxiety!
Thanks for this very human and helping response!
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you’re so wise!
i’ve been helping
people worry 🙂
don’t worry,
you help many
with your wisdom
i’m happy
learning that 🙂
What an interesting observation that when you worry less, you have the energy to help more! That’s worth seriously considering, I’d say. 🙂
Thanks for this helpful and energizing comment, Debra!