Day 2217: How to accept personal comments

How do you accept personal comments — compliments or criticism?

As we approach the end of 2018, I’m resolving to accept all personal comments the same way.

With gratitude and joy.

I’m not saying that accepting personal  comments with gratitude and joy will be easy.  Compliments and criticism can be very difficult to accept, for different reasons.

Therefore, I shall now practice this new resolution, as I imagine all sorts of people giving me personal comments.

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As I embrace the preciousness of this moment, I believe accepting personal comments with gratitude and joy will be good for my self care and for the care of others.

Also, it helps me to remember that personal comments are often the reflection of the person making the comment. In other words, it’s nothing personal.

I look forward to your personal comments on this post.

As always, I’m joyfully and personally grateful to all those who helped me create today’s post and to every person who visits this blog, including YOU.

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Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 28 Comments

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28 thoughts on “Day 2217: How to accept personal comments

  1. I think it all depends on the tone of the delivery

  2. Written comments are sometimes difficult to interpret because you can’t hear the tone in the voice. I once received a curt letter from a parent when I was teaching but when I met with her she was very pleasant and I had completely misread the tone of the letter.

  3. I am working on this as a personal goal. It’s hard for me to take a compliment without my banter back, but I’m getting better

  4. Some very wise and welcome words. Thank you, Ann.

  5. I used to have a hard time accepting compliments but now I just say thank you and move on. Accepting criticism is still very hard for me. Especially from my husband about my cooking or cleaning or….husbands should just be quiet.

  6. I never realized before that the one thing compliments and criticism sometimes have in common is we don’t feel we deserve either one.
    I’m very grateful to you for helping me understand that and that’s a sincere compliment.

  7. Good point that comments are more a reflection of the sender than receiver. What irritates me is when someone expresses a compliment that comes off like an insult. That is my perception anyway when someone remarks I am so thin or so organized. Also, I don’t think criticism is really helpful. People will only grow through self-awareness and a yearning to improve, which comes from within rather than external forces.

    • Good points, Gail! My goal of accepting personal comments with gratitude and joy is purely for my well-being — I believe choosing gratitude and joy will be healthier for me rather than experiencing my usual discomfort or defensiveness. I’m not sure I’ll be able to do it, especially with unhelpful criticism, but I’m going to try. Thank you for this very helpful comment.

  8. Pingback: Day 2218: What you have survived | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  9. Thank you for being such an amazing person, Ann.

  10. someday hope
    to say it
    in person 🙂

  11. that was so profound, I had to copy it. “Personal comments……it’ nothing personal. What a great thing for me to keep in mind when I’m commenting on something. (Is it about me or them). Thanks for the gift. Hugs

  12. I just read through the comments and had no idea there were so many people (like me) who are uncomfortable with compliments….and yet…I like a compliment…it can fuel me when my harpy whispers criticism through my mind.
    So if we don’t like criticism and we feel uncomfortable with compliments…I’m not sure where that thin territory in the middle resides, where we’re comfortable. How to find it. How to grow it.
    Perhaps a clue is in what you’re doing?
    Shrink the boundaries of our discomfort? Accepting both compliments and criticism with…?
    I’m not sure it’s always joy. But I can work on the grateful part at the moment.
    Fascinating topic. (And motivation for 2019).
    Any idea why so many of us are uncomfortable with compliments?

    • I think the discomfort might arise because the compliments are so out of synch with the negative messages we’ve internalized. Your comments are wonderful fuel for me, Barb!

  13. You know cats. We accept compliments with class and criticism with claws. ヘ(^・・^=)~

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