Monthly Archives: September 2018

Day 2089: Duh

Yesterday, I wrote and read “DUH!” in a therapy group.

Would it help for me to share why and how I did that?  Duh.

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Things that are right side up are, duh, easier to read.

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What does “Self Care” mean to you?  It means taking care of my self.  DUH!

Self Care also means balancing my needs with other people’s needs and, duh, this:

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Well, duh!  It’s time for a definition of “duh.”

duh

interjection
\ ˈdə , usually with prolonged ə \
Definition of Duh
1 —used to express actual or feigned ignorance or stupidity
Duh, I don’t know.
2 —used derisively to indicate that something just stated is all too obvious or self-evident
Well, duh!
Examples of Duh in a Sentence
Recent Examples on the Web

Lee and his family are buried there, his marble, recumbent statue adorning the campus chapel known as, duh, Lee Chapel.
— Cincinnati Enquirer, Cincinnati.com, “Doc: No clear solution to offensive symbols,” 22 Aug. 2017
Well, duh. Prescott ranked third in the league in passer rating, ahead of Aaron Rodgers and Drew Brees.
— Pat Fitzmaurice, SI.com, “Dallas Cowboys Fantasy Football 2017 Preview: Can Elliott Repeat Breakout Season?,” 2 Aug. 2017

These example sentences are selected automatically from various online news sources to reflect current usage of the word ‘duh.’ Views expressed in the examples do not represent the opinion of Merriam-Webster or its editors. Send us feedback.

That definition of “duh” is, duh, from Merriam-Webster.   How would you define “duh”?

You’re probably asking yourself if I have any other photos today.  I didn’t have enough time yesterday to include all my photos and I’ve taken more photos since so, duh.

Michael cooked me a delicious meal yesterday. Duh.

Are there any “Duh” videos on YouTube?  Duh.

No Duh.

I love comments. Duh.

Thanks to all who helped me create today’s “Duh”  post and — of course (duh!) — to YOU.

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Categories: definition, group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Day 2088: You’re probably asking yourself …

You’re probably asking yourself, “What is this title and what does it mean?”

I’m definitely asking myself, “Why didn’t I set my alarm last night so I could get to physical therapy on time today?”

You’re probably asking yourself, “What photos will Ann share today, if she’s in such a rush this morning?”

Good question.

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You’re probably asking yourself, “Should I answer any of those questions?”

I’m asking myself, “Do I probably have time to look for and share a relevant YouTube video?”

The answer is no.

You’re probably asking yourself … how will Ann thank all those who helped her create today’s post and also thank ME?

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Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , | 20 Comments

Day 2087: Boxed in

Do you ever feel boxed in? Helpless? Paralyzed? Trapped?

When you feel boxed in, what do you do? Does it help to think outside the box? Or is staying in the box more safe and comfortable than venturing outside of it?

Do any of my photos from yesterday make you feel boxed in?

Michael’s meals, if there were ever any left-overs, would make a great box lunch.

Last week, when I was boxed in by many cars on my way to work, I received these messages from fellow boxed-in commuters who were using the traffic app Waze:

Why is traffic always so bad with 1/2 inch of water. Shoot me.

Good morning from hell on earth.

As usual, I felt less boxed in, knowing I was not alone. Hell on earth is not as bad when you have company.

Lately, Michael and I have been doing the box step and other dance steps with each other twice a week, thinking outside the box as we take turns choosing what music to dance to. This was Michael’s outside-the-box choice from last week:

I wish I could write lyrics like that. I may be boxed in by less song-writing experience and talent than Richard Thompson, but I’ll keep trying. That’s the way to get out of whatever box you’re in — keep trying and keep boxing your way out.

Please put your reactions in a comment box, below.

Boxed-up thanks to all who helped me box together today’s boxed-in post and more boxes of thanks — of course! — to YOU.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 23 Comments

Day 2086: Triggers, again

My post today may trigger memories of my two previous posts about triggers (here and here).  If you want a definition of triggers, you can use your trigger finger to click on those links, now.

The first fatal shark attack in Massachusetts for 80 years, this weekend, triggers many news articles,  allusions to the movie Jaws, and fears about going in the water. Despite the rarity of shark attacks, they are triggers for many people.

While I was in Edinburgh in August, I wrote lyrics for another original song, “Triggers.”  Yesterday, when I was triggered to start writing a melody,   I realized how timely those lyrics were.

TRIGGERS

For me it’s the cold and the dark,

For him it’s not finding a good place to park,

For some it’s a loud noise,

For others it’s rude boys,

For many it’s news of attacks by a shark.

Everybody has a trigger,

Most of us have more than one.

Some are small and some are bigger

But none of them are ever fun.

The roots of your triggers are memories traumatic

To some your reactions may seem over-dramatic

Triggers may haunt you

But don’t let them daunt you

Because there are ways to make them less automatic.

© Ann Koplow, 2018

I have more lyrics about triggers, but my look at the time triggers my realization that I shall be late for work if I don’t quickly wrap up this latest post about triggers.

That triggers this sharing of all my photos from yesterday:

Here’s an amazing song titled “Triggers” by Soldier Hard, featured on his album Group Therapy:

 

The end of every post triggers my request for comments and my gratitude to all who help me write this daily blog and — of course! — YOU.

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Categories: original song, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , | 23 Comments

Day 2085: Do your best

Yesterday morning, when I was doing my best to create another daily blog post, I included this poem I had written and shared in a therapy group about second guessing:

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When I second guess

I make a mess

I feel I’m less

It causes stress

When I obsess!

I like to guess.

I will express

That more or less

I do my best

Then, when I was doing my best taking photos for today’s blog, I saw this:

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Please do your best to look at all the other photos I took yesterday.

Do your best to wait patiently for all those photos to load and to click on any photos you’d like to enlarge.

Usually, I do my best to save the gratitude photos for the end and to make sure that all the photos are easy to read. However, today I’m assuming that we can all do our best together to make this blog post work.

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Also, I am going to do my best to explain that my little yellow car was washed yesterday by members of the Quincy High School Choral Society and that Michael and I saw Senator Elizabeth Warren, the senior U.S. senator from Massachusetts, who does her best to challenge the current U.S. President.

Now, do your best to read all the words on this sign:

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Please do your best to watch all these “Do Your Best” videos:

Do your best to comment and I will do my best to express my gratitude for all those who helped me create this “Do your best” post and — of course! — my readers, who are the best.

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Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 21 Comments

Day 2084: Second guessing

Almost exactly a year ago, I wrote Day 1714: Second guessing. So this is my second post about second guessing. I’m guessing it won’t be my last.

A few seconds before my therapy group started yesterday, one of the members tripped and fell. As the other group members witnessed spilled coffee, blood, and first responders in the hospital reacting to the situation, people were second guessing their own and others’ actions.

In the group (after the injured member had been tended to by expert personnel), we discussed the flight-fight-or-freeze response,  trauma, guilt, self-judgment,  doing too much, doing too little, What’s the right thing to do?, selfishness, selflessness, empathy, looking, intrusiveness, how time stretches out during emergencies, different perceptions, helping vs. getting out of the way,  and —  I’m guessing — dozens of variations on the theme of second guessing.

I am not second guessing the healing power of groups, especially in traumatic situations. I’m also not second guessing my photos from yesterday.

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In this second, I’m guessing that you — like the group members — want to know if the injured person is okay.  The person is fine.

This is the second time I’ve included the song “Second Guessing” by Jonny Lang.

I’m not second guessing my wish to include this second song, by The Guess Who.

 

Please don’t second guess anything you choose to share in a comment, below.

No second guessing about my gratitude for all who helped me create this second post about “Second Guessing” and — of course! — for YOU.

 

Categories: group therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , | 19 Comments

Day 2083: You Are Enough

Hello! Hi!

I hope you can follow this: Although you may feel inadequate at times, you are enough.  I am enough.  We are enough.

Have I said enough?  Do I have enough photos?

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I think those are enough chairs.

Here‘s “You Are Enough” by El Ten Eleven:

If that’s not enough, here‘s “You Are Enough” by Sleeping At Last:

 

I’m looking forward to receiving enough comments.

Gratitude is enough.  As always, thanks to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to you, who are enough.

 

 

Categories: gratitude, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , | 12 Comments

Day 2082: Don’t work so hard

Last week, when I was working so hard trying to memorize the lyrics and chords of my latest original song,  “Shameless Appeals for Applause,” I ran into Nancy Kleiman, who plays harp at Boston hospitals.   (It’s not so hard to click on this link for a story about Nancy at work.) Nancy and I both worked it that morning, talking and walking to the hospitals where we work. As she gives to so many people every week, Nancy freely gave me hope, solace, wisdom, inspiration, love, and support, including this advice:

Don’t work so hard.

After Nancy said, “Don’t work so hard,” we both talked about how we both love our work, and how that means we never work a day in our lives.

As I worked hard to understand what “Don’t work so hard” meant to her and to me,  Nancy explained how she became a harpist who plays for patients in hospitals — a story of synchronicity, luck, and beautiful connections with people and with her higher power easily working together.

Since then, as I’ve worked at many things, I keep hearing Nancy say

Don’t work so hard.

And even though it’s going to take more work for me to understand and integrate that into my life, it’s not hard for me to say how glad I am that I encountered Nancy on our way to work last week.

I didn’t work so hard taking these photos yesterday:

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While Michael was working so hard yesterday making arancini for my board meeting, we didn’t have to work so hard to spot that hawk, who was hardly working.

Here‘s Nancy, working, on YouTube:

Here‘s more of Nancy’s soothing harp music, which works:

Working thanks to Nancy, Michael, hawks, cats, everyone and everything else that helped make today’s post work and — of course! — YOU.

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Categories: personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 17 Comments

Day 2081: Live Free or Die

Yesterday, I noticed this New Hampshire license plate  with the official state motto “Live Free or Die.”

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Who knew that hairy aliens lived in New Hampshire, parked in Boston and felt so strongly about freedom?

According to Wikipedia (which is free):

“Live Free or Die” is the official motto of the U.S. state of New Hampshire, adopted by the state in 1945. It is possibly the best-known of all state mottos, partly because it conveys an assertive independence historically found in American political philosophy and partly because of its contrast to the milder sentiments found in other state mottos.

As I have lived free for many years, I have noticed that flashy assertiveness gets more attention than milder sentiments.  Here are some of the milder sentiments displayed on U.S. license plates:

The Natural State

Colorful

World Famous Potatoes

Visit

It’s That Friendly

Smiling Faces

Is  OK!

Sounds Good to Me

Peace Garden State

The Hospitality State

Seat Belts Fastened?

Drive Carefully

Do you agree that those other state license plates are not as lively or as to-die-for?

Today, as I live free and do not die, I would like to share something I said to my sister, last night, over dinner, after a very difficult day where I died several psychological deaths because of worry, projection, mind reading, fortune telling and other cognitive distortions:

I would like to declare that, as of now, I will never, ever again assume that other people are having harshly negative and judgmental thoughts about what I’m doing or not doing.  Tomorrow morning, I will wake up, free of that old and unhelpful habit.

This morning, as I try to live free of those old patterns and habits, I’m noticing this:  So far so good.

Actually, “So Far So Good” would make a good (if not entirely memorable) license plate.

Shall we live free and/or die for my other photos from yesterday?

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It looks to me like that pineapple and broccoli are living free, undyingly.

Here‘s “Live Free or Die” by Hayes Carll:

Live free and/or comment below, please.

Gratitude is free, here and now, for all those who helped me create this “Live Free or Die” post and — of course! — for YOU.

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Categories: cognitive behavioral therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 27 Comments

Day 2080: Negative filter

After filtering the positive and the negative for two thousand and eighty consecutive days here at The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally, I’m amazed that I haven’t written about the common cognitive distortion of Negative Filter before today.

Negative filtering (also known as “Disqualifying the positive”).
This is when we focus on the negative, and filter out all positive aspects of a situation. For example, you get a good review at work with one critical comment, and the criticism becomes the focus, with the positive feedback fading or forgotten. You dismiss positives by explaining them away — for example, responding to a compliment with the thought, “They were just being nice.”

Why do people disqualify the positive?  Why do we focus on the negative?  When I try to filter through experience and answer those questions, my best guess is that the negative gets our attention because our survival has depended on our being hyper aware of danger and fixating on problems until we solve them.

However, negative filter can lead to depression, hopelessness, and an inability to enjoy the positive.

How can we filter our experiences more effectively, letting in the positive AND the negative? And how can we deal with all the information around us, which can clog up our filters?

As usual, I don’t have all the answers but I do have lots of questions, like what kind of filters do you see in my recent photos?

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Let things come to you, but please don’t filter out the positive.

Last night, when I was working on letting go of my own negative filter, I positively  and completely enjoyed this tap routine on the season finale of So You Think You Can Dance (if you want to filter everything else out, the dancing starts at 2:30):

 

Gratitude helps clean out the filter, so thanks to Evan DeBenedetto, Lex Ishimoto,  choreographer Anthony Morigerato, everyone else who helped me filter through recent experiences to create today’s post and — of course! — YOU.

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Categories: cognitive behavioral therapy, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments

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