One thing I consistently relearn in this world (especially when I attend a group psychotherapy conference) is why people respond to you the way they do.
Last week in Houston, I found that people responded to me the way they did because of
- assumptions,
- memories,
- feelings, and
- the unconscious.
Here are two examples of people responding to me the way they did:
Example #1.
In a very large group, a woman sitting near me responded to everything I said with hostility, aggression, and opposition. After the group session, I approached her and asked her if I had offended her in some way. She said, “Oh no! I’ve never done one of these large groups before. I just thought that was what you were supposed to do — argue with the person who had just spoken.”
Example #2.
In a different, much smaller group, I was the first to speak up. A man sitting across from me seemed to respond to everything I said with some mild hostility. After about an hour, I let him know, in the group, that I was experiencing some hostility from him and I wondered what that was about. At first he said he wasn’t aware of being hostile towards me. When another group member joined me by telling him she also saw the hostility towards me, he thought about it. Then he said, “I guess there is some hostility there. I saw you yesterday in another group where you spoke up first. When you spoke up first here, I thought, ‘Oh, there’s Ann, doing THAT again.’ I said, “Oh! Now I understand. Thank you!”
I respond to the world the way I do, sometimes through pictures.
I responded to my son Aaron’s news about winning the University of Edinburgh Stand Up Comedy Championship by taking a screen shot of his award (above). I responded to my wish to find his comedy routine on YouTube by searching that site by his name. YouTube responded with this video:
I respond to that video the way I do because I’m his mother.
Please respond to this post the way you do.
I respond the way I do, here and now, because I’m grateful to all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — to YOU.
The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally 
People respond to me because of recognition, everybody seems to know me as Ivor, Mum gave me this wondrous name Ivor, and there’s that guy Ivor…… I seem to be the only Ivor in town…..
Thanks for your wondrous poetry and comments, Ivor.
I am very happy that you do not hesitate to speak your mind, Ann.
I do not hesitate to tell you how happy I am to see you, Mark.
I’m having a vision of the future and I see bright things for Aaron.
Your experiences remind me of my first librarians’ conference. First-timers were paired with an experienced mentor, someone who’d been to conferences before. It’s something that really helps with how people respond to the conference experience.
Thanks for your wisdom and experience, Chris.
I adore Aaron.
We adore you!
I love how Mom needs son are expressing themselves!
I love how you express yourself, Val!
Some people do not realise how they act or come across to others, a few years back I was told that I was rude to someone and truly didn’t realise that was how I came across
I love how you come across here, Joanne.
Ann,
The direction of the world, as it is, encourages from people distrust. And in that no matter the intent in communication one sees an ulterior motive. So, if you tell some one that their smile is infectious. Their reply may likely be: “What do you mean by that?!”
A world that has for the most part turned from the light of God’s unifying love, now stands in the shadows of divisive skepticism.
-Alan
I trust you, Alan.
Would you like to discuss why you arouse so much hostility? 🙂 I’m always amazed when I do 🙂
I’m amazed that you do too, Derrick.
🙂