Day 1858: Falling

Ever since I’ve been on anticoagulant medication  (for most of the time I’ve been writing this blog), I’ve been afraid of falling, so I take great care not to fall.

Yesterday, despite my efforts not to fall, I felt myself falling on my walk to work.  I tried not to fall, but you can’t fight city hall and sometimes you can’t fight a fall.

As I was falling and I saw the cold, hard sidewalk rushing up to meet me, I thought,

  • Ooops!
  • I didn’t expect this.
  • I hope I won’t bruise too much.
  • I’m probably going to feel this for a while.
  • I bet this looks interesting to other people.

After falling, I stayed down, checking myself.  I was glad I hadn’t hit my head or my Implantable Cardiac Device (ICD). I didn’t think I had broken anything. I couldn’t see any bruising.  People in cars rolled down their windows and asked, “Are you all right?” I replied, “I THINK so.”   A woman walking behind me asked if I was okay and she helped me get up off the sidewalk.   She said, “Did you slip on the ice?”  We looked around and didn’t see any ice.  I said, “I think I just caught my toe on something.”  Everybody else I told about falling yesterday asked, “Did you slip on the ice?”  I could have easily fallen into a white lie and said, “Yes,” but lying is not one of my fallings.

An hour before the falling, I had called to make an appointment to see a doctor about the ongoing pain around my ICD, so I had the relief of knowing I would see a doctor later that day.  And because I naturally fall into trying to look at the bright side, I thought, “Well, maybe the pain from this fall will distract me from the other pain.”

And it did.  As the morning went on, my falling resulted in increasing pain in my shoulder. It hurt to draw this on the whiteboard in my Wednesday morning group:


Because many members of the group had many obligations and worries falling on them, I suggested that they draw a protective circle around themselves and write down the things that were bothering them outside the circle.  I invited them to include the realities of the present moment inside the circle with them.

Inside my circle, I wrote “warmth,” “safety,” and “pain” among other things.  Outside the circle, I wrote “falling,”” “hard sidewalks,” and “pain” among other things.

Since falling, I’ve seen a doctor and had an X-ray.  There are no breaks or dislocations. I’m using ice and Extra Strength Tylenol to ease the pains from my falling.

I’m falling into a prediction that I’ll be feeling pain on my birthday tomorrow but I’ll also be feeling joy for having the strength to get up, again, after falling.

Here’s a song I heard somebody singing at The Voice try-outs last Saturday:


While you listen to Alicia Keys singin’ “Fallin’,” here are more photos I took after falling:









Gotta go ice my shoulder and go to work. Plan for the day: Avoid Falling.

As usual, I’m falling into gratitude for all who helped me create today’s post and — of course! — for YOU.


Categories: group therapy, personal growth | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 37 Comments

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37 thoughts on “Day 1858: Falling

  1. I’ve fallen in love with this post. One of my favorites of yours. I’m glad there are no breaks. Happy for your strength to get back up. And I hope the ICD appointment was full of answers/resolution. You have a birthday to celebrate.

  2. I’m glad you didn’t hurt yourself. How nice people were so considerate. I like the Falling song by Haim too.

  3. I can’t help falling in love with how you pick yourself up and keep going. Go on girl! I love it!

  4. I’m afraid of falling too. The older I get the more afraid of that I am. And living where I do there’s so much ice. I’m especially afraid of falling when I’m out in the dark with the dog. I wonder how long it would take for my husband, safe and warm on the sofa watching TV, to notice that I hadn’t come back in again. SIgh.

    I’m glad you didn’t break anything, but you certainly could have been bruised. I hope you feel better now! And wasn’t it nice that so many people stopped to make sure you were relatively OK?

    • It’s so nice of you to stop and comment, Dawn. I sometimes wonder if people would notice if something happened to me. Let’s just keep doing our best to stay upright, to get back up when we fall, and to keep showing up. ❤

  5. So glad the fall didn’t bring you down!

    I’m also impressed you lay there and checked yourself out. That is great self-care. Awhile ago I fell, not on ice either but water on tile. I felt soooo embarrassed, I quickly got up and pretended nothing happened. 🙂 I too had bruising all over the place! 🙂

  6. Ann, I am relieved that you are all right, because falling while taking Warfarin seems more dangerous than falling while not taking blood thinners. Also, I am worried because you really don’t know why you fell. That is not a good kind of mystery. You seem to have excellent, caring doctors, so I will try to stop worrying uselessly. Hope your ice melts soon.

    PS. The city should lower everybody’s tax assessments, if they are going to let the sidewalks be so trippy. 🙂

    • Please don’t fall into worry, Maureen. I’m pretty sure I caught my toe on an uneven sidewalk. It happens. Thanks for the trippy comment!

  7. Falling after a certain age is scary for anyone. I hope you recover soon

  8. Marcia Dubreuil

    Darn, Ann–You need a better ice pack than that! Never get people started telling about their own falls, since your fall is always nothing comparatively speaking. Enough to say that after stitches and a broken rib and a battery of tests, my doctor said, “Anyone can fall. You have too much on your mind, and you are distracted, and you are moving too fast. Slow down a little, move deliberately. Get rid of your progressive lenses. Take in a baseball game.” So far, so good, the old lady said….
    Hope you are feeling much better. Happy, happy birthday in advance, Ann.

    • I can’t imagine you slowing down, Marcia. You’re the quickest person I know. Love and thanks to you, my friend. ❤

  9. Ann I did the same thing last week. I was walking the dog and fell to the pavement. My hand broke my fall and it was sore for a day but no broken or dislocated bones or abrasions. People on the street asked if I slipped on ice but like you I think my foot got caught on a bit of raised pavement. Luckily I didn’t hit my head but I felt my glasses tap the ground but they weren’t broken either. Aren’t we both lucky. I’ve never broken anything and I don’t want to start now.

  10. thegoodlifechronicles

    I’m sorry about the pain. Love how positive and strong you sound in this post.
    I pray for your good health and healing 💕

  11. Falling is not a good thing for me either, I had 2 falls not so long ago, a year apart to the day, May 10th, broke my left ankle on the first occasion, and my right ankle the next time. 😊.

  12. While my first concern is that you get better I’m also the sort of person who also thinks of the potential benefits of falling, as explained by Douglas Adams, who said, “There is an art to flying, or rather a knack. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.”

  13. Hope the shoulder feels better soon Ann – and the ICD incision site too❣️

  14. Ann I almost fell over when I read your post! I hope you are ok and am glad to hear nothing is broken. I always use a bag of frozen vegetables as an ice pack when needed. Take care!! ❤

  15. Oh, I’m sorry for your aches and pains from the fall. And thankful there was no break or dislocation! I’m happy to say I have found a secret to not falling: spending the winter in Florida! There’s something about being all bundled up, often in boots or clunky shoes and heavy socks, that makes negotiating even non-icy, uneven pavement more difficult. Breezing along in shorts and well-fitting sandals (usually Clark’s flip flops; I have colors for every outfit!), I have yet to take a fall. So come on down! Our guest room awaits! ❤️😎🌴🙏🌞

    • My falling prevented me from seeing this comment for over a year, Sunny! I hope all is sunny where you are. ❤

      • Hi Ann, what fun to hear from you. Being an Alzheimer’s caregiver has increased my responsibilities and kept me from blogging or reading others’ very often. We sold our house in PA last summer and are full time Floridians. Once snowbirds, now Flamingos! Getting back to reading your blog! Much love, Sunny

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