Yesterday, I read here, in “23 New Words for Emotions That We All Feel, But Cannot Explain,” that Rubatosis means “the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.”
My regular readers — especially those who experience sonder (“the realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own”) — may have the unsettling awareness that I’ve been having rubatosis since my open-heart surgery on September 21. And awareness of your own heartbeat IS unsettling, especially if it intensifies when you’re trying to sleep.
I’m now experiencing jouska (“a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head”) about vemödalen (“the frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist”).
I shall now overcome any monachopsis (“the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place”), kenopsia (“the eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet”), exulansis (“the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it”), and occhiolism (“the awareness of the smallness of your perspective”) to share this song.
I am not feeling mauerbauertraurigkeit (“the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends you really like”), so I invite you to make a comment with no fear of anecdoche (“a conversation in which everyone is talking but nobody is listening”).
While I may have rubatosis, I also have the comforting awareness of gratitude in my heart for all those who helped me create today’s post and for you — of course! — no matter what emotions you’re feeling but cannot explain.