Day 1469: Rubatosis

Yesterday, I read here, in “23 New Words for Emotions That We All Feel, But Cannot Explain,” that Rubatosis means “the unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.”

My regular readers  — especially those who experience sonder (“the realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own”)  —  may have the unsettling awareness that I’ve been having rubatosis since my open-heart surgery on September 21. And awareness of your own heartbeat IS unsettling, especially if it intensifies when you’re trying to sleep.

I’m now experiencing jouska (“a hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head”) about vemödalen (“the frustration of photographing something amazing when thousands of identical  photos already exist”).







I shall now overcome any monachopsis (“the subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place”), kenopsia (“the eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet”), exulansis (“the tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it”),  and occhiolism (“the awareness of the smallness of your perspective”) to share this song.


I am not feeling mauerbauertraurigkeit (“the inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends you really like”), so I invite you to make a comment with no fear of anecdoche (“a conversation in which everyone is talking but nobody is listening”).

While I may have rubatosis,  I also have the comforting awareness of gratitude in my heart for all those who helped me create today’s post and for you — of course! — no matter what emotions you’re feeling but cannot explain.

Categories: definition, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 33 Comments

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33 thoughts on “Day 1469: Rubatosis

  1. I love this post! One of your best ever!

  2. I learned a lot from this post!

  3. All those feelings that were so perfectly and specifically defined by you and the author of 23 New Words are feelings that I recognize and am familiar with. I am astonished at the recognition I feel. Let’s make those words real! (Albeit sometimes shorter.)

    My brother and I used to watch the Partridge Family when we were kids and were great fans of their music. Of course we had their record, back when we also had a record player. Of course I remember I Can Feel Your Heartbeat vividly.I wonder if we can think of a word that means ‘being flooded with memories after hearing a song on YouTube that meant a lot to you when you were very young’?

    Thank you for this wonderful post about the curious sensation of hearing your own bionic heartbeat. Did you not hear it before? Did you hear it immediately after your Mayo surgery or only after the pacemaker replacement.

    Thank you!

  4. I love when we use words from other languages to express ourselves. This one mauerbauertraurigkeit -because it’s German interests me. The most literal translation would be wall builder sadness, which I never have when I come to visit you here Ann. ❤
    Diana xo

  5. I love words, so this was such fun to read!

  6. It’s interesting that most of these words seem to be derived from German. I see a lot of lessons in that: Germans are precise people, English is a language enriched by borrowed words, and feelings know no borders.
    That last is the lesson I most take to heart.

  7. Beautiful post and photographs. Thank you. If you wish you to visit my blog, you can make a request, be sure I would be so glad. Love, nia

  8. I don’t know if I feel relieved, or concerned, that there are words describing things that I have long experienced. Hmmmmm…….

  9. Powerful. Educational. Relatable. As always…thank you for the lesson.
    Is it me or do those teabags read minds?
    I always crushed hard of Keith Partridge…lol!

  10. Hi Ann, I experienced rubatosis while reading your post. I think I have experienced a great deal of these emotions, especially the one about taking the most awesome photo, knowing that a gazillion of the same photos have been taken. Oh and I loved the Brady Bunch – especially their orange kitchen countertops – that gave me rubatosis too!!!!

  11. I wasn’t around yesterday, too busy with life and slept in as well yesterday morning so didn’t get much done

  12. I have rubatosis but it’s because I love Oscar.

  13. Your linguistics are marvelous!

  14. I always be grateful for your blog.

  15. Pingback: Day 1530: Obscure Sorrows | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

  16. Pingback: Day 1761: Frustrating | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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