Day 1066: Other people

Other people are on my mind right now, because:

  • in therapy, people talk a lot about what other people think and do,
  • other people are going to be judging my voice in February, when I try out for the TV show “The Voice,”
  • other people are reading this blog today (including you),
  • I am facilitating a therapy group this morning with eleven other people,
  • I am visiting Boston’s Museum of Fine Arts this afternoon,  to see paintings by Vermeer, Rembrandt, and other people, and
  • other people have recently been labeling me “edgy,” “quirky,” “attention-starved,” “caring,”  “looking exactly like your son Aaron,” and “looking nothing like your son Aaron.”

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Why do we spend so much time wondering what other people might think and might do?

After all, other people are just people (like me and like you).

If other people want to read other posts about other people, this other person suggests other people look here, here, here, here, here, here,  and here.

Other people (other than you) are responsible for these other photos:

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Now I’m wondering what other people think of those other photos.

Other thoughts, other people?

One other sentence:  Thanks to other people, everywhere, for visiting this other person today.

Categories: personal growth, photojournalism, Psychotherapy | Tags: , , , , , , | 51 Comments

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51 thoughts on “Day 1066: Other people

  1. It is natural to seek others’ approval, but not to allow that to govern one’s behaviour. It has taken me a lifetime to recognise that sometimes it doesn’t matter what others think, and that has been very freeing.

  2. I agree with Derrick, the guy with the other comment. Sometimes it doesn’t matter what others think 🙂

  3. If it is a constructive comment to help then criticism can be good. There are very few people in life that matter. Strangers may never be seen again so why worry what they think. Humans always compete and sometimes that leads to negative thoughts and actions!

  4. It’s ironic isn’t it, that insecurity makes us egocentric? When I was a therapist and I felt someone was too focused on external approval or scrutiny I would bring up the point that if everyone else is also worrying about what others think about them then they are likely not busy judging you.

  5. What’s that quote Ann? “What other people think of me, is none of my business.” I remember when I first read it, it caught me off guard, but it makes sense to me now! ❤
    Diana xo

  6. Loved the post but I’m totally distracted by you trying out for The Voice! That’s really amazing–my fingers will be perpetually crossed for you!

    • I am totally distracted by this, too! And when I am worrying about other people’s reactions, I will remember you crossing your fingers for me. ❤

  7. I love the last image of your blog’s title Ann!

  8. I’m going to take the advice of several commenters here and not care what others think of me. If that’s okay with you.

  9. Such an excellent post Ann. I struggled with the “Need to Please Disease” for years. Often think that the cure is aging out of it.

  10. Hi Ann, I think this is a most wonderful post!!! I love the photos! Hope all is well with you!! Been writing, so I haven’t been around much. What is this, you trying out for “The Voice”? How exciting and nerve-wracking all at the same time!!!!

  11. My father had countless friends, something I always envied and admired. He once confessed to me that he “just couldn’t take it if someone didn’t like him”. It gave me a new perspective, and made me appreciate my mother, who cared very little of other’s opinions. Life lessons…always fascinating ! Thanks for invoking those thoughts, Ann.

  12. Maureen

    Hey, Ann! What is everyone looking at in the photo of Aaron and friends? Are they watching you sing? I think they are. The woman on the sofa is excited or she’s applauding.

    Is the last photo a business card with your blog’s address on it? Or is it a placemat? Something you will hang on the wall? I can’t get a perspective on the size.

    I rarely wonder what people think of me. But when I do something that hurts or upsets someone, usually accidentally, I worry about that a lot.

  13. PS. Attention starved? I can’t see how that would be possible

    • It’s a business card, Maureen. I was wondering what other people would think about that. The people on the sofa are more of my ex-in-laws, Thanksgiving day. They are very supportive, whether or not I’m singing. And “attention starved” was endorsed by Aaron and Michael, in some good-natured kidding about my behaviors (I assume!).

      • I like the idea of a business card for your blog, especially as you are always snapping pictures. But, my location isn’t on your map! And neither is your camel! That is okay, though. We are with you in spirit.

      • I like the idea of you and other people being with me in spirit, Maureen.

  14. This other person has no opinion at all about your business card, even though she smiles when she looks at it. She would tell you directly what she thinks, but you said you (as part of the Big We) struggle with wondering about what other people think. So she’s not saying. Too bad you can’t see her smiling. That’s not a thought is it? No. I didn’t think so, either. I’m so glad we agree.

  15. There are always other people around. Having a business card is a great idea so others get to know more about you…. Not that what they think matters of course 😉

  16. When I was a lot younger I worried a lit about what others thought of me, but the older I get the less I give a rats ass, I know I am a good person and I always treat people as I would like to be treated, in fact this is what I taught my girls and what they are now teaching their children

  17. I’m too old to really care what other people think of me or are thinking about me- I try to “be my best self” and surround myself with those who are like minded.

  18. “Why do we spend so much time wondering what other people might think and might do?” Indeed. One wonders whether it is cultural conditioning or simply the byproduct of boredom. In any case, it does seem to diminish as I age, coming further and further into my own and further away from any identification with peer groups and such. Interactions these days are with friends who, like me, are thoughtful and introspective and kind.

    • I’m so glad you are interacting with other people who are thoughtful, introspective and kind. Many thanks for this thoughtful, introspective, and kind comment.

  19. Other people are essential for a healthy life existence.

  20. I think your other photos are otherwise pretty awesome! I *love the card, and the hat – that rocks!

    In other news, I think it’s amazing that you’re trying out for the Voice. I hope you post a video so we can see. 🙂

    • If I get over my fear of other people thinking my voice is not good enough, I may very well post such a video! I appreciate all the other words of your comment, too.

  21. Pingback: Day 1583: Realizing who you are | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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