Day 862: Don’t know why

Don’t know why:

  • I spend any time at all worrying about the future, because life is too short for worry AND I work so hard at inviting other people to let go of worry.
  • I’ve stayed in the Boston area for my entire 62-year life, despite my discomfort with the snowy, cold, and way-too-long winters.

  • I forgot to bring my Identification and access card with me to work yesterday,  on my first day back after corrective surgery for my very unusual heart.

  • Sometimes, people express gratitude easily and, at other times, it’s a struggle to find the words.

  • Tulips are so beautiful, but last for such a short amount of time.

  •  I never noticed — until my friend Peggy pointed this out to me last week — that some pansies have faces and others don’t.

  •  I see faces in many other places.

  •  People seem so interested in actual sizes.

  

  • I made the decision, last night, to distract myself from worry about the 3-hour presentation I’m giving on my psychotherapy groups on  June 6  by signing up to audition on June 9 for a local production of Stephen Sondheim’s Follies, even though I haven’t tried out for a musical in over 30 years.  
  • I keep doing things that scare the living daylights out of me (except it sure does make life a whole lot more interesting).
  • Trash day around here reminds me of what I’d like to permanently throw away, including fears, past hurts,  disappointments, regrets,  worries, shame, and other things that do not serve me well. 

  

  • These trees need this kind of protection.

 

Do know why I want to thank Pat Metheny, Stephen Sondheim, Peggy, flowers, trees, and you, today: for making my life better.

Categories: inspiration, personal growth, photojournalism | Tags: , , , , , , | 42 Comments

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42 thoughts on “Day 862: Don’t know why

  1. I do know that everyday I come to your blog I will find wonderful photos and music and thoughts. I do know that your posts always remind me of songs from long ago, and here is another one of my favorites I will share with you

  2. Let go of the past, it is gone and there is nothing we can do about it, the future will come and bear few of the things we worry about, so why worry? There is only now, this singular beautiful moment of life, the only place we can truly be. This is where you see the beauty of those flowers, not in remeberences or imaginings, but here and now 🙂

  3. I like to try and do one thing each day that scares me – you are right, it makes for great stories! 🙂

  4. Do tell why! 🙂

    Hope your day is as full of beautiful faces as you are!

  5. I don’t know why people say there’s something wrong with me…

  6. Keep doing the things that scare you! And keep posting wonderful thoughts, questions, and photos.

  7. In Ottawa we have a tulip festival – it celebrates that the snow is gone (though it sometimes isn’t) and spring is here, and I can enjoy flowers without having to garden myself!

  8. You are trying out for a musical!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so excited! Wow!!!!!

    • Don’t know why you are always SOOOOOOOOOOO perfectly supportive, but I do know I love it!

      • But – that is pretty much the most amazing thing to do, of all time. Don’t you think? You are talented and brave and also a little bit scared. That is the perfect combination.

      • I think it’s amazing that (1) you recognize how amazing it is and (2) you know exactly why.

  9. Ann, I am not trained in heart surgery, or any part of the medical field, but I was witness to my best friends heart attacks, surgeries and recuperative states. I also watched my favorite uncle recuperate from a quadruple heart bypass. I noted that both of my loved ones had a heightened sense of their awareness of time. They both were anxious, depressed and fearful that they had not appreciated the years before their illnesses. It was as if they were taking an inventory and giving themselves a failing grade for not having done ‘this or that.’ Oddly, both of them were high achievers, well read and dedicated to being active in their community.

    On a somewhat different note, September 2013 saw the death of my favorite uncle and his wife, my most precious of all aunts, killed in a freak accident just twenty days later. In August last year, my cousin, their only daughter, died of a stroke, a day later another first cousin died from cancer. In December my Father-in-Law was diagnosed with stage four cancer on Christmas Eve, and given one to three months to live. He is currently in his fifth month and living more happily than I have ever seen him. Seeing this man live his life, fully, happier than ever before, has awarded me a Peace that I can only describe as a gift.

    When you learned not all pansies have faces, that you are working with others and are able to help them, while still feeling vulnerable, you reminded me of how all of humanity gets a ‘nudge’ … It comes to us in unexpected ways. We find ourselves awakened, perhaps a bit off balance, but fully alive. In time we learn that the things we did not see so fully, are now quite in focus. The precipice of living fully alive is frightening, but it is also the greatest joy we can embrace.

    • So beautifully written and expressed. I know why I appreciate you and all the thoughts you share, so much.

  10. Here’s why, Ann.

    You’ve earned it.

    All of it. Every step of it, word of it, thought of it, forgotten thought of it, fear of it, released fear of it, song about it, photo of it.

    And you love Boston with that special heart of yours, I believe, as long as a certain teen still calls it home.

    Team Ann’s Mark, off the box, over and out.

  11. Well, I hope you do know why so many people love your posts, Ann. You’re such a kind, generous, clever, witty and lovely person. You stay in Boston because you love it, I think. It isn’t easy to break an attachment to somewhere you feel at home in. Great post and photos, as always. 🙂

  12. I also don’t know why I do some things, but I do know why I come here, just so you know I like your blog

  13. What’s keeping you up at night Ann? Sometimes worry is part of a process, don’t you think? ❤
    Diana xo

  14. The Midwest doesn’t have friendly winters either. And – I’d like to live somewhere warmer. But – I would not mind living in Boston. 😉
    Let’s Go Red Sox!
    {Hugs}

  15. So nice to come and wander around Boston with you Ann – I love your observations of even the smallest things (the pansies!)- what a joy. Thanks for visiting my blog the other day – really thoughtful

    • Don’t know why we haven’t encountered each other before on WordPress, Chas, but I’m sure glad you visited today!

  16. Pingback: Day 992: Wait People | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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