Day 824: Aaaarrrgggghhh!!!

The title of today’s post is something I write to express:

  • disappointment,
  • frustration, and
  • fear.

People who know me might tell me I’m brave and even fearless, at times, but here I was, writing that very thing two nights ago:

Yes, I spelled it differently, but it’s essentially the same.

So why did I write

two nights ago?

Was it because:

  1. one very famous cardiologist told me recently that  if I do NOT have valve surgery immediately I will most likely  get sicker and sicker and then die a horrible death AND
  2. a  very trusted and also famous cardiologist  told me recently that there’s a 1 in 10 chance I would not survive valve surgery and even if I do survive it, that valve  surgery could very well hasten the deterioration of my very unusual heart?

That seems like as good a reason as any to write

… doesn’t it?

Nevertheless, I wrote

at a therapy group at work on Thursday night, because the topic we had chosen together was “Frustration.”

How do you express frustration, dear reader? Feel free to write

or anything else in the comments, below.

One thing  I saw yesterday, in particular, made me say

Can you guess which image it was?

                
      

By the way, that last photo of Winston at my work parking garage — as he was telling me “Every human being goes temporarily insane at some time” — did not make me go

… but another one of those photos did.

Here’s some music I heard for the first time yesterday, in celebration of Boston Red Sox Opening Day, on Monday:

“Fanfare for Fenway,” written and conducted by John Williams, definitely did not make me go

when I heard it. It made me go

YAAYYYY!!!!!!!

I almost forgot! Here’s something else that made me go

YAAYYYY!!!!!!
 

Yesterday, I heard people — at a big morning meeting at work — mention my name for being instrumental in creating positive changes they described as

REVOLUTIONARY!

I guess I also use that when I am

  • surprised by recognition,
  • praised in unexpected ways, and
  • don’t know what else to say.

A big YAY! of gratitude to John Williams, to Winston, to  people who attend my therapy groups, to supportive people at hospitals (including my trusted, long-time cardiologist Deeb Salem), to everybody I saw yesterday, and to you — of course!!!!!!! — for bringing all your arghhh!, yaayyyy!, and other reactions here, today.

Categories: personal growth, pride | Tags: , , , , , , , , , | 61 Comments

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61 thoughts on “Day 824: Aaaarrrgggghhh!!!

  1. Big “Yay” to you too… and hope you get less of DFF.

  2. I enjoy your writing immensely…Yay!!!

  3. yeseventhistoowillpass

    Didn’t Charlie Brown say Aggghhhhh a lot? Get your ticker fixed…

  4. It’s always best to try to end on a “yaaayyy!” 🙂

  5. I surely understand why you used the word, Ann. I use it too. In fact I used it early this morning when I drove out into the desert with camera, tripod and coffee to photograph the lunar eclipse and blood moon, but it was overcast! No moon for me. Aaaarghhh!
    But yay! A baby burro was born last night and I am off soon to take photos there. And yay! The farmers market is this morning.

  6. I’m so sorry you’ve had such alarming news. Makes my little frustrations look kind of silly.

    • One might say that all frustrations are equally silly, Annabelle. Would that make you say “arrghh” or “yay”?

      • When I’m seeing clearly, I can see that frustration is a silly reaction, best dropped – and then it’s a massive relief and a great big ‘YAAAYYYY!!!!’ 😀 When I’m NOT seeing clearly, it’s a different story… but let’s not go there!

      • I’ll go anywhere you want to, Annabelle. YAAAYYYY!!!!

    • And thank you for your empathy! (Empathy makes me say “yaaay!”)

  7. Well hey, hey ms. revolutionary! Hope today inspires more yays than arghs Ann. ❤
    Diana xo

  8. Trying to find the correct words. Unfortunately, they escape me. But, Trust God, trust your surgeons, dam the statistics.

    • I am going to trust my cardiologists, trust myself, trust the divine that’s in you and everywhere else, trust that the less invasive surgery I’m having on May 4 will help and — if it doesn’t — it’s damn the torpedoes and full speed ahead!

  9. Aaarrrgggh! I’m thinking you need a 3rd opinion! It also makes me think of the Five Remembrances of Buddhism https://presentheaven.wordpress.com/2010/05/05/thich-nhat-hanh-on-embracing-reality/ and I’m guessing you know them better than I do. Wishing you a Happy Pesach! We had an excellent Seder last night, a glimmer of Haggadah and lots of good food, vegan for me and a chicken dish from Whole Foods for my husband. Today I tried a vegan matzoh brei recipe I found on Pinterest http://pinterest.com/pin/533746993314397160/ that was so good, I kvelled!

  10. A touch of ‘stuck between a rock and a hard place’; but glad you’re turning aarghhh!!!! into yaaayyy!!! 🙂

  11. Sunshine Jansen

    That Winston is a sage. I’ve felt a bit insane quite a few times in my life but I’ve always said “yay” when I found out I was just passing through! And man, can I relate about the “arghhhh” of dueling doctors! But like you, I’ve tended toward the tried and trusted, and I’m in good shape today because of it… Three “yays” for Dr. Salem!

  12. I started thinking argh then finished with awww with your lovely paragraph at the end.

  13. I love your readers’ comments. Yayyyyyy!!!! I know your decision is a hard one. How can two doctors be so opposite? I’d say ask for a third opinion but who has that kind of money? ARGHHHHHHH!!!!! Hopefully somewhere in your heart you’ve already made a decision. It just hasn’t surfaced yet. OOooohhhhhhhh!!!!

    • I have gotten several opinions, Claudia, and I am going with the current recommendation of my home-team cardiologists Drs. Deeb Salem and Mark Estes: to have a less invasive and less dangerous surgery on May 4. That day, it’s going to help me knowing that you and my other readers will be rooting for me!

  14. SOooo arrgghhhing Ann! It must be so hard living with not really knowing … for you and your docs.
    Sending you a gentle huge and hoping that the mud will settle … and that duffouss picked up his litter!
    xoxo

  15. Happy Passover, Ann! Looks like you have the makings of a seder there. Even some chocolate. I couldn’t tell whether that glove was a lone glove whose mate has gone missing, or a long lost glove whose mate you’d thrown away long ago.

    It’s a long walk to freedom. 🙂 Lots of AAAAAARGH along the way…

    • Hi, Maureen! You are very observant. And that was a glove that escaped from my car the night before and was waiting for me to find it, the next morning. Thanks for coming along on this walk to freedom.

  16. Ann,
    As I ready myself to attend my parish Easter Vigil, I wish you a Happy Passover. And offer the Blessings of Easter. Blessings are always a joy to receive.
    -Alan

  17. Ann, “comes a time” for more Yayyyy:

  18. Wonderful photos and I’m going to use your magic wastebasket to get rid of something that’s bugging me (just realised that was in yesterday’s post). Because of this wonderful blogging world, I shall be sitting in the UK, sponsoring an Australian running in the Boston Marathon.

  19. I’m going to assume that’s a yay for a found red glove, Ann, and go with the snow pile left on the front lawn as your ARRRRGGGGGGH shot of the day. Yay or nay for my guess?

    • Your guess about the ARRRRGGGGH shot gets a Yay. I didn’t ask for a guess for a Yay shot, but no Arrrghh! about any guesses from you, Mark, ever. An unequivocal YAYYYY from me for this comment!

  20. Your inspirational posts, your determination and all round positivity make me want yo shout Yay, too. The comment you overheard at the morning meeting sums up your approach to life as well as showing how much you’re valued. Have a lovely Easter, Ann.

  21. Oh yeah we all have aaaaarrrrggggghhhhh moments…………..just saying

  22. Cedar-Sinai in Los Angeles and USC perform the greatest number of valve surgeries in the country. They are on top of the latest valve research, and it wouldn’t hurt to contact them for another opinion. Wishing you the best!

  23. Winston’s right!

  24. Any day (& post) that ends in YAY is a good one. 😉

    As for my frustrations – I guess it depends on the situation.
    Most of it stays in my head- because if it comes out of my yapper – it may get me in trouble.
    And – when it does come out – there’s no turning back.

    Hope that you can find the best solution for your heart issue soon.

  25. Pingback: Day 1083: How to Choose a Post Title | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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