Day 795: How to Accept Compliments

Dear Readers,

If you’re like me (and many other people I know), you might have some trouble accepting compliments and other types of positive feedback. 

Here’s a 4-step process I invite you to try, starting today!

  1. When the compliment comes your way, do your best to take it in. 
  2. Allow for the possibility that it is true, no matter what the source or the situation. 
  3. Let go of everything that gets in the way of believing it. 
  4. Say “thank you.”

Okay! Now, let’s practice.

Ready?

Listen to this song, believing that the words are meant for you.

If you can’t see or hear “You Are So Beautiful,” above, I invite you to practice with that song on YouTube (or elsewhere). Or, you can compliment this post by suggesting other ways of practicing, in a comment below. 

Let’s see if I have any recent photos that might help us do better accepting compliments. 













 

No matter what you think of those photos,  here’s another chance for you to practice accepting compliments:

I value all your reactions to this post, very much. 

Thanks and compliments to all who do their best accepting compliments and to you — of course! — for paying me the compliment of visiting here, today. 

Categories: inspiration, personal growth | Tags: , , | 51 Comments

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51 thoughts on “Day 795: How to Accept Compliments

  1. This reminds me when Homer Simpson is told: “You’re as smart as you handsome.” He gets angry and then realises she meant it as a compliment haha

  2. I am always happy to see your blog pop up in my reader, I love your sense of humor when the going gets tough. I like your 4 step process, it took a long time to learn to say thank you without offering up all the reasons I wasn’t worthy 😀

  3. Thank you 🙂
    I will be seeing some of the real Red Sox players in Fort Meyers … And will send your compliments from Boston.
    xo

  4. Compliments make me to red!

  5. great post, great song

  6. Excellent post! You are a fun and great writer! And TAKE that compliment — you deserve it!

  7. Why thank you, Ann. You, too.

  8. LOL, I saw the Texas ad, Come on in, the Winter is great – and I just wrote a post about how cold it is here!! 🙂 Too funny!

    • Maybe Texas was giving itself too many compliments, Kate! I just read your post and it IS too funny. Thanks for the compliment of your presence here.

  9. Being from New England, I’m genetically deficient in being able to accept compliments, but I’ve worked on it a lot, which means I have accomplished the ability to be neutral on the outside and not offend people who are trying to say something nice to me. (One would see how this can come in handy when one decides to host a blog and force their writing on other people!)

    I’m trying to use the Collective Fan Mentality to bridge the gap here. You know, how it’s hard to accept a personal compliment but easy to identify with your favorite team, like how since the Patriots won the Super Bowl February 1st I’ve worn a Pats t-shirt every day and said stuff like “WE are so great!” If we (there I go again) can find a way to use that inclusive energy to positively accept a compliment (i.e., this person who is complimenting me or my work is more like a teammate, handing me the ball, and we are both rooting for the same thing, and together we have just accomplished something, and the compliment is just like hoisting the Lombardi trophy or getting a new championship t-shirt), then we might come out dealing with this stuff far more naturally.

    Then again, we might get accused of playing with our…game equipment. But one can only control so much! Wait…I sense a long essay on issues of “control” and pathological reaction to Patriots’ dominance…hey, you’re the therapist, this sounds like an essay for you, Ann…”we” will wait for you to post it. Me and Tommy boy!

    • As a fellow New Englander, Jeff, I take this as a compliment that you would take the time and effort to share these complimentary and helpful thoughts with the team here. I don’t know how long you’ll be waiting for that long Patriots post, but thanks for the complimentary invitation.

  10. Many years ago, a friend taught me just to say thank you. The minute I deflected or denied or debased she would say just say thank you. Well turns out just saying thank you, even if it sounded strange to me at first or whether or not I believed the compliment or not became a practice that led to me being more gracious about compliments and even believing them! Great post Ann! ❤
    Diana xo

  11. I’m terrible with compliments.
    It’s not that I don’t believe them. Super healthy self esteem. Just can’t bear them.
    My husband excels at accepting compliments. He gets all bashful and gleeful at the same time. It’s exactly right and I wish we could all do the same.

    • I wish we could all do the same too, Jay. What would it be like for you if I complimented you on this great comment?

  12. Great post, I love when I can sit down and not be bugged to read! Sigh…

  13. The song was playing on Pandora as I was reading this…

  14. My compliments to you on another stimulating and thought provoking post 🙂

  15. Just loved this post. The power of a compliment should not be underestimated. I met someone recently who I complimented 35 years ago and she told me how good it made her feel and she’s always remembered. That made me feel so good! I just wish I’d handed out many more.
    I’ve followed you for ages but rarely comment as it takes forever on this stupid, tiny keyboard. Such a long comment is an extra compliment!

    • And I just loved this comment. Thank you for the amazing compliment of writing all that on that annoyingly small keyboard!

  16. I love compliments and happily say thank you. I don’t necessarily believe them, but I know that the speaker wanted to be kind to me and make me feel good… and that’s fantastic.

    • That is fantastic, Hilary. And many thanks for yet another fantastic comment here. I hope you can believe that compliment from me!

  17. Admission. I thought I was pretty good with compliments but when you commented on my puppy I had to use your 4 step plan as I started to reply how I need to practice. I need to practice taking compliments and I never knew. Lightbulb! Really, really thank you!

  18. Thank you, Joe Cocker. Thank you, God.

    A compliment is a gift we should not deny ourselves. Someone saw the beauty, accepted it and then returned it, multiplying its value.

    You are a treasure chest, Ann. Sincerely, I hope you know that.❤️

  19. “I will be generous with my love today. I will sprinkle compliments and uplifting words everywhere I go. I will do this knowing that my words are like seeds and when they fall on fertile soil, a reflection of those seeds will grow into something greater.”
    ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

    “The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked what I thought, and attended to my answer.”— Henry David Thoreau

  20. Allow for the possibility that it is true – simple yet profound words.

  21. … and I will miss more beautiful songs by Joe Cocker 😦

  22. My hats off to you, Ann, for finding the perfect song and the perfect way to remind us to just give thanks. You are so beautiful for sharing. I have always loved Joe Cocker’s gravelly voice and his choked-up ending to this song. 😉

  23. I will give it a try. I needed those tips 😉

  24. Pingback: Day 1013: Compliments | The Year(s) of Living Non-Judgmentally

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